Metaphors and similes abound in a very picturesque song that has a very supportive arrangement beneath it.
For my part the catch phrase/hook is the least convincing of your very credible writing...
"And we fade out in the dawn
Like vampires under the sun"
I think of all the fang flicks I've seen and the undead doesn't go lightly.
Ah, but those are my cinematic memories intruding.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe