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https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/bad-luckHi everyone, I made a song about a survivor of a planecrash and called it Bad Luck. The story is more or less a metaphor for the challenges some of us face in real live. Especially where you feel you're on your own to face them. But instead of letting the main character die, I gave it an open end  . He can die or wake up from a nightmare... The style I used is Ordeal, tempo 60, key Em. I added two fiddles, 5-string and Celtic (for rhythm and solo-purposes) and a synth. PopBelieve. And in the Daw I gave the soft drums more body The lyrics Bad LuckI'm in the middle of an ocean Drifting in a leaking dinghy The only thing I can recall our plane plunged in the sea I am the sole survivor rowing maybe towards land With no food or drinking water and no signals I can send It's getting darker by the hour Than I will only see the moon The waves are getting higher Land must be reached soon I'm rowing on the ocean No idea where to go This is called Bad Luck as far as I know Oh I see, it's not my day But you're with me, You see me rowing on And I'm smiling but you don't know in my heart I'm so afraid as can be Oh, I start weeping but you must not see I'm rowing on an ocean and only a moon to shine Sharks now pay me more attention They're getting closer all the time And I'm the sole survivor No idea where to go This is called Bad Luck as far as I know Refrein Solo Refrein + Oh, than woke up that morning and saw you're there near me, You watched me sweating But you're smiling to me So no bad luck at all I close my arms around you https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/bad-luckThanks in advance for listening Hans Berkhout
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I definitely really liked the open ending to the story you left us. Lets our imagination fill in the blanks. Thanks for sharing!
Cheers,
Ember
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I like the plaintive, haunting mood in the music. Interesting subject for a song. Strong vocals!
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Hans, Awesome tune! This is the best one to my taste, from others you presented here. Good lyrics, interesting arrangement and performance! Certainly your artistic muscles are getting more flexible  The only suggestion I have, is try to glue vocals more to the rest of the mix. It is tricky. (One of most challenging thing for me). Your tune is solid, I feel by interweaving vocals will put it level above. Thank you for sharing! Misha.
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This song definitely has plenty of mood. Nicely done Hans. Rob
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Thanks all for the compliments. I appreciate yournice words. Especially about the filling of the blanks ;-)
And Misha, it's not the first time you pointed me at the glueing of the vocals. This is a big challenge for me, I can assure you!
But I'm improving my skills little by little (and sometimes a setback. Keep on making these remarks.
Nice weekend,
Hans
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Hello Hans ...
As previously mention, somewhat haunting. I also find it captivating. Excellent write and a real fine performance. Very, very nice! Wishing you the best ...
Alan
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Wow such a sad visual in the lyrics. Excellent song. Super vocal and backtrack. Well done
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Another nice tune...
Great set of lyrics with much food for thought...
The individual trials & tribulations each of us have to face...
You pulled it off very well...
I enjoyed listening & thinking about what you had to say.
Jim
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Hey there Birchwood , I really enjoyed the overall mood on this. Great mixdown on and the vibe is quite sentimental. Very captivating lyrics!
Cheers,
Joe
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The rattle thing initially worked for me as it suggested water slapping the sides of a ducky but it was a little too prominent after a while - you could vary the volume of it to increase the impact etc.
Interesting story and melody.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Hi Rayc,
My brother asked me to put in a tiny deflating noise (from a balloon or so) and watersounds as well, even as 'blubblub'-sounds at the end. But I didn't. And now you come up with this 'rattle thing'. You hear things he wants but I don't. But seriously: what do you mean? The violin in the beginning? I never deliberately intended this soundeffect.
And thanks very much for listening and comments,
Hans
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And thanks Allan, Jim, Joe and Scott for you nice and kind words.
This will help me improve my music skills. Next song will be something as Rammstein has...
Nice weekend,
Hans
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And thanks Allan, Jim, Joe and Scott for you nice and kind words.
This will help me improve my music skills. Next song will be something as Rammstein has...
Nice weekend,
Hans The rattle that starts at the 52 second mark - sounds like a tambourine with wooden discs.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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You did a fine job with this one Hans! The mood of the music backing fits the lyrics nicely and you are presenting good work here on the forum! Thanks, Torrey
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Thanks all for your replies. I have changed the song a bit. I sing it in another key (Dm instead of Em). I think it fits better with my voice. I also changed the solo-fiddle, because it was too joyful. Misha gave me a tip for using Izothope exiter. I had it all the time and I think it does work fine. at least to my ears. And than the nice part: I added the sound effects that my brother asked me for. I did it to please him, but to my surprise I liked it myself! So I kept them. You can imagine what I sang about an being in that boat. And I've searched for the rattle, RayC. I think you meant the multidrum SmoothJazzCoolsw16 with the Chajchas in it, or maybe the first Fiddle. I soften that one later on in the verse. Hope it won't bother anymore... But I could not ignore my need to allways do something else too: I made an alternative Bad Luck (we all have some of it). It has a rhythm I liked more. It gives more dynamics to the song. If you want to listen: https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/bad-luck-alternative-rhythmNice day to you all, Hans
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Nice work -there's nothing like a tune with an excellent story behind it. Love the flow of the tune, and thought it held it's weight before adding that captivating story - the fact the lyrics added so much was icing on the cake! Some great progressions as well and your vocals on this are top notch. You should be proud of this one - thanks for sharing
Cheers,
Deryk
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Well thanks, Deryk!
Those were very nice words you wrote about my song (although I needed a translator for some parts...).
A bit curious: were these nice words meant for the alternative Bad Luck or the original one?
I will do my best to improve my skills. If you can help with new styles in BiaB we both will become very succesful, don't you agree?
Nice day,
Hans
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Hans,
Such an interesting subject to choose to write a song...
The overall tone that the instrumentation creates works well to carry the message.
Good vocal. The addition of extra sounds adds to atmosphere of the piece...
fj
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A very different, actually fascinating idea for a lyric and the unresolved ending adds a lot to the write.
We find it nicely textured with the instrumentation and sound effects - a video could work really well with the imagery.
Enjoyed it....
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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