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#531510 04/04/19 11:23 AM
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https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/bad-luck

Hi everyone,

I made a song about a survivor of a planecrash and called it Bad Luck.
The story is more or less a metaphor for the challenges some of us face in real live. Especially where you feel you're on your own to face them. But instead of letting the main character die, I gave it an open end grin . He can die or wake up from a nightmare...

The style I used is Ordeal, tempo 60, key Em.
I added two fiddles, 5-string and Celtic (for rhythm and solo-purposes) and a synth. PopBelieve.
And in the Daw I gave the soft drums more body

The lyrics

Bad Luck
I'm in the middle of an ocean
Drifting in a leaking dinghy
The only thing I can recall
our plane plunged in the sea

I am the sole survivor
rowing maybe towards land
With no food or drinking water
and no signals I can send

It's getting darker by the hour
Than I will only see the moon
The waves are getting higher
Land must be reached soon

I'm rowing on the ocean
No idea where to go
This is called Bad Luck
as far as I know

Oh I see, it's not my day
But you're with me,
You see me rowing on
And I'm smiling

but you don't know in my heart
I'm so afraid as can be
Oh, I start weeping
but you must not see

I'm rowing on an ocean
and only a moon to shine
Sharks now pay me more attention
They're getting closer all the time

And I'm the sole survivor
No idea where to go
This is called Bad Luck
as far as I know

Refrein
Solo
Refrein
+
Oh, than woke up that morning
and saw you're there near me,
You watched me sweating
But you're smiling to me
So no bad luck at all
I close my arms around you

https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/bad-luck

Thanks in advance for listening
Hans Berkhout


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Birchwood #531515 04/04/19 12:10 PM
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I definitely really liked the open ending to the story you left us. Lets our imagination fill in the blanks. Thanks for sharing!


Cheers,
Ember
Birchwood #531528 04/04/19 02:03 PM
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I like the plaintive, haunting mood in the music. Interesting subject for a song. Strong vocals!

Birchwood #531530 04/04/19 02:18 PM
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Hans,
Awesome tune! This is the best one to my taste, from others you presented here.
Good lyrics, interesting arrangement and performance! Certainly your artistic muscles are getting more flexible smile

The only suggestion I have, is try to glue vocals more to the rest of the mix. It is tricky. (One of most challenging thing for me). Your tune is solid, I feel by interweaving vocals will put it level above.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Birchwood #531534 04/04/19 03:29 PM
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This song definitely has plenty of mood. Nicely done Hans. Rob

Birchwood #531568 04/04/19 10:18 PM
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Thanks all for the compliments. I appreciate yournice words. Especially about the filling of the blanks ;-)
And Misha, it's not the first time you pointed me at the glueing of the vocals. This is a big challenge for me, I can assure you!
But I'm improving my skills little by little (and sometimes a setback. Keep on making these remarks.

Nice weekend,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Birchwood #531593 04/05/19 02:19 AM
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Hello Hans ...

As previously mention, somewhat haunting. I also find it captivating. Excellent write and a real fine performance. Very, very nice! Wishing you the best ...

Alan


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Birchwood #531619 04/05/19 04:24 AM
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Wow such a sad visual in the lyrics. Excellent song. Super vocal and backtrack. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
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Birchwood #531630 04/05/19 05:37 AM
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Another nice tune...
Great set of lyrics with much food for thought...
The individual trials & tribulations each of us have to face...
You pulled it off very well...
I enjoyed listening & thinking about what you had to say.


Jim
†=☮&♥
Birchwood #531642 04/05/19 06:35 AM
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Hey there Birchwood , I really enjoyed the overall mood on this. Great mixdown on and the vibe is quite sentimental. Very captivating lyrics!


Cheers,
Joe
Birchwood #531722 04/05/19 08:52 PM
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The rattle thing initially worked for me as it suggested water slapping the sides of a ducky but it was a little too prominent after a while - you could vary the volume of it to increase the impact etc.
Interesting story and melody.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
rayc #531727 04/05/19 11:00 PM
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Hi Rayc,

My brother asked me to put in a tiny deflating noise (from a balloon or so) and watersounds as well, even as 'blubblub'-sounds at the end. But I didn't. And now you come up with this 'rattle thing'. You hear things he wants but I don't. But seriously: what do you mean? The violin in the beginning? I never deliberately intended this soundeffect.
And thanks very much for listening and comments,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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Birchwood #531733 04/06/19 12:22 AM
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And thanks Allan, Jim, Joe and Scott for you nice and kind words.
This will help me improve my music skills. Next song will be something as Rammstein has...

Nice weekend,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Birchwood #531959 04/07/19 08:52 PM
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Originally Posted By: Birchwood
And thanks Allan, Jim, Joe and Scott for you nice and kind words.
This will help me improve my music skills. Next song will be something as Rammstein has...

Nice weekend,
Hans

The rattle that starts at the 52 second mark - sounds like a tambourine with wooden discs.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Birchwood #531975 04/08/19 01:40 AM
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You did a fine job with this one Hans! The mood of the music backing fits the lyrics nicely and you are presenting good work here on the forum! Thanks, Torrey

Birchwood #532015 04/08/19 03:48 AM
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Thanks all for your replies.
I have changed the song a bit. I sing it in another key (Dm instead of Em). I think it fits better with my voice. I also changed the solo-fiddle, because it was too joyful.
Misha gave me a tip for using Izothope exiter. I had it all the time and I think it does work fine. at least to my ears.

And than the nice part: I added the sound effects that my brother asked me for. I did it to please him, but to my surprise I liked it myself! So I kept them. You can imagine what I sang about an being in that boat.

And I've searched for the rattle, RayC. I think you meant the multidrum SmoothJazzCoolsw16 with the Chajchas in it, or maybe the first Fiddle. I soften that one later on in the verse. Hope it won't bother anymore...

But I could not ignore my need to allways do something else too: I made an alternative Bad Luck (we all have some of it). It has a rhythm I liked more. It gives more dynamics to the song. If you want to listen:
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/bad-luck-alternative-rhythm

Nice day to you all,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Birchwood #532023 04/08/19 05:17 AM
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Nice work -there's nothing like a tune with an excellent story behind it. Love the flow of the tune, and thought it held it's weight before adding that captivating story - the fact the lyrics added so much was icing on the cake! Some great progressions as well and your vocals on this are top notch.

You should be proud of this one - thanks for sharing smile


Cheers,
Deryk
Birchwood #532059 04/08/19 09:49 AM
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Well thanks, Deryk!

Those were very nice words you wrote about my song (although I needed a translator for some parts...).
A bit curious: were these nice words meant for the alternative Bad Luck or the original one?

I will do my best to improve my skills. If you can help with new styles in BiaB we both will become very succesful, don't you agree?

Nice day,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Birchwood #532156 04/09/19 03:27 AM
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Hans,

Such an interesting subject to choose to write a song...

The overall tone that the instrumentation creates works well to carry the message.

Good vocal. The addition of extra sounds adds to atmosphere of the piece...

fj

Birchwood #532165 04/09/19 04:36 AM
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A very different, actually fascinating idea for a lyric and the unresolved ending adds a lot to the write.

We find it nicely textured with the instrumentation and sound effects - a video could work really well with the imagery.

Enjoyed it....


J&B


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