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Originally Posted By: Birchwood
Hi Olemon and Ray,
But Ray, what in heavens name is 'curmudgeon'? I could not translate that word.

It's a very accurate label for me:
"a crusty, ill-tempered and, usually, old man"

Last edited by rayc; 05/03/19 05:25 PM.

Cheers
rayc
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Originally Posted By: Birchwood
As promised, I changed the solopart.


I also changed some other small things like adding a -muted- funkguitar and lifting -a bit- the last note of the choir (I did listen after all, Misha!), but that's it. Its not my habbit to change all my songs, although it appears to be like that, looking back to my last 3 songs. But at least I listen to you all!

And thanks Torrey and Janne for your nice comments. And Janne, about that sologuitar... sorry it changed into a saxophone :-)

https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/forlorn

Bye,
Hans

I gave your song another listen...
It sounds good to me...
I'm working from memory but the sax solo fits well with the song.
I enjoyed listening!


Jim
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Cool song, Hans! I liked the lyrics and the choice of instruments.
I did find the voices on the choruses strident, EQ-wise. I would have put a bit of reverb on the sax solo to match the mood of the song. These are picky things though, it's a very well written track and well arranged and engineered!

John


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Nice song. I also found the background vocals just a tad harsh, just enough that they were slightly distracting. I don't know what you are listening on when you mix, so maybe check a couple other references. Just a minor suggestion.

Your lead vocals sound nice. I like the tonal quality of your voice.

Thanks for sharing this.

Steve


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Hi Jim, John and Steve,

Thanks for all your nice and wise words.
I silently changed the song again. The backgroudchoir is removed. I already had doubts about it, some of you have said that too.
I'm afraid the choir did not strengthened the song and the lyrics. Just like you say, Steve.
And John, I gave some extra reverb to that sax. More is maybe too much.

And Jim, I realy like the tought you listened several times to this song. You can't get it out of your head now, don't you?

Thanks again,
Hans


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Hans,

Reading through the comments, you have had quite a ride with this song - and gotten a lot of useful comments it seems...

A good write. Interesting. The vocal is very nice. I like the processing on the vocal. I agree the background vocals could use some "softening" (a bit lower in volume and perhaps more reverb). Everything else sounds good. The instrument background is well mixed. The sax sounds good and fits nicely.

I enjoyed it.

fj

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Nice song Hans!! I remember your metal tune....liked that one too. This is well done.....vocals, arrangement, production. Like the transition to acoustic guitar near the end. Very cool!! Take care. Greg

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Hi Floyd and Greg,

Thanks for you nice comments.
Floyd, why not post me you were in Haarlem? We could have met, while eating 'bitterballen' (nice snack) and drinking a beer or wine? Such a pity...
But I removed the backing vocals. Not good enough.
And Greg, something different compared with the Metalsong, don't you agree? Are you coming to Haarlem as well?

Hans


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I like when an artist purposely contrasts the mood of the lyrics with the mood of the music. It works well here. Good melody.

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Hi Ezekiel,

You made my day with your nice comment!
But you are very right. I also like 'contrasts' in songs.
Next song will be with BeeGees-voices ;-)

Bye,
Hans


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You've got a wonderful groove going on here! Much enjoyed!

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