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https://soundcloud.com/user-770148857/poor-bewildered-meAnother song I wrote that was sung and played by a fivrr vocalist, with some Kontakt strings I added with RB. Lyrics: I knew a woman of a certain fashion She held my keen attention for some time, And stirred within me such enduring passion, But never did we let our hearts entwine. She's out there somewhere in the great big world now, And I might find her if I were so bold, But dreaming how it might have been seems better, Than anything reality might hold, There were a million ways into her heart, A million places our love could have begun, There were a million ways into her hear-ar-ar-ar-art, But poor bewildered me, I never found a single one. Did she ever think of us together? How I wish to have that answer still, Was it worth the risk? I thought, no never, To lose her through embrace at last fulfilled. Life will have its way without exception, Leading some together, some apart, Was I ever sure of my intentions? To the end I never would impart. I still recall the last time that I saw her, We caught a movie at the Biograph, Nicholson on trial and Cruise the lawyer, We played the final scene out for a laugh. Life can hold such promise and fair weather, Love is far less common, far less known, People have their chances when together, But love will only follow on its own. Repeat chorus, then add: But poor bewildered me, I never found a single one...of these days, I hope that I see her - Again.
Last edited by TuneMonger; 05/25/19 01:40 PM.
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The finger picking guitar and the strings were perfect for this sad song. Your vocals were spot on, although I would have preferred just a heart in place of hear-ar-ar-ar-art, but that is nit-picking and probably just my tastes. That did not diminish the excellent song.
What a fantastic line People have their chances when together,
But love will only follow on its own. this is! You did an excellent job on the lyrics.
You know you're getting old when a recliner and a heating pad is your idea of a hot date!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Very cool vocal and lyric. Some really interesting chord changes. Keeps you engaged in the song. I agree with Mario that the finger picking guitar track was such a nice compliment to the song. Really nice song. Well done
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What nice lyrics! Chapeau (French: Very well done)
I agree a bit with Mario about that heart, but it vanishes immediately when hearing the lyrics and the way it was sung, so modest.
And all packed in a sweet melody.
Hans
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A very good write Bob...
Sad but good...
I agree with Mario & Hans about "hear-ar-ar-ar-art"...
But I think perhaps it was the way the vocalist delivered the line & not the line itself.
Jim
†=☮&♥
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"There were a million ways into her heart,
A million places our love could have begun,
There were a million ways into her heart,
But poor bewildered me,
I never found a single one."
Lovely,sad, melancholy song.
I think the fiver voice did a decent job - a singer songwriter rendition that suits the arrangement as well.
I think you might yet settle the vocal into the backing.
Are there different reverbs on the vocal and backing?
Often the diff. will make the odd one out sit in a different room.
I like the whole thing - well done.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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The lyrics here are stunning! What a lovely piece, well done on an excellent song.
I'd have liked for the guitar to be a lot more prominent in the mix, almost equal with the vocal, and the strings could come up a tad I think.
John
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Nicely done! Love the stripped back nature of the song. Sometimes less is more, and this is a prime example. Very touching, and very sincere, particularly in the vocal delivery. Great work, thanks for sharing 
Cheers,
Deryk
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Really pretty, and very singer-songwriterly.
"Did she ever think of us together?
How I wish to have that answer still,
Was it worth the risk? I thought, no never,
To lose her through embrace at last fulfilled.
Life will have its way without exception,
Leading some together, some apart,
Was I ever sure of my intentions?
To the end I never would impart".
All those what-ifs and second guessing.
I love the turn of phrase at the end...but I'd have different hopes for the guy.
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TM,
A beautiful, sad song...
The acoustic is very well done (did you okay that?) - well recorded...
"Nicholson on trial and Cruise the lawyer,
We played the final scene out for a laugh."
...what a great scene that paints!! Worth the price of admission.
Nice.
fj
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Nice minimalist track...all that's needed for the write. Yeah those lines floyd mentioned are worth the price No problems with the vocal here...nothing wrong with bending some notes. Kudos...we really like it! J&B
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TuneMonger,
I really enjoyed this tune - love the folk feel & vibe.
Great lyrics, mix and a awesome vocal.
Bob
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I really loved a lot of the lyrical choices! Thanks for sharing.
Cheers,
Ember
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Very good lyrics on it. Vocals suit very well acoustic guitar backing. Strings work nicely, but a bit synthetic. I would try to find a more "acoustic" version. Just a personal view.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
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Very nice!
great write and sung emotionally
enjoyed the listen
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Hey TuneMonger, this is excellent! This is beautiful and very soothing to hear. Keep it up!
Cheers,
Joe
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Hi Tunemonger,
This is an excellent listen. I love the way the lyrics flow so comfortably with the melody and harmony. It's terrific writing! And your singer is so very easy on the ears.
Very, very enjoyable.
Regards,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Very pretty song!! Some really interesting and deep lyrics too! I like the simple arrangements, although I think organic strings (from BIAB) would work better for something this stripped down. Vocalist had a really nice feel but was a bit pitchy at times. Really nice job!! Take care. Greg
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Thanks to all for your comments, I appreciate them. It's good to know how I can improve my song, and very satisfying to have so many appreciate the lyrics. Since I don't sing and BIAB usually does the instruments, the melody and lyrics are really all I do. So they mean a lot to me, and it's nice that they get received so well. : )
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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TuneMonger, this is some very fine work! Reminds me so much of some of the great folk artists of the 70's. Harry Chapin comes to mind. Great storytelling packaged in very good track! Thanks, Torrey
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