Ray & Misha,

An interesting write. Dark. And pretty far along the "negative feelings" path - makes one wonder why the split took as long as it did. Sounds like it was doomed from the start. That passion didn't seem to last long.
"It’s time we both just walk away
And leave the licence in the drawer"
That is a very original line! Cutting.
"Neither wanted to be first to start running
It seems we’ve found a mutual starting time"
Another original...
"And now the used by date has passed."
Clever. Almost too "clever" for the tone of the rest of the song.

The melody works well to tell this story (there is something about it that seems familiar, but I can't put my finger on it). AH! after several listens it came to me...it has the sound and feel of a song from Danny O'Keefe's "Breezy Stories" album. One of my ALL-TIME favorite records. Misha, your phrasing here sounds much like Danny's on that record. IF you can find it, you might very much enjoy it...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2y7exw-JNI&list=OLAK5uy_mMMEr7jZdWlRwq5R6crw8mtX2L5n2ilX8

The vocal sounded fine to me. Mixed at a good level. I thought the sax reverb was fine (referring to David's comment). The piano sounded great. Bass, too. One small nit (to my ear) is the crispness of the hi-hats. I'm not a fan of being able to hear every single hi-hat hit - that becomes distracting to the ear.

Y'all are doing interesting work together...

fj

Last edited by floyd jane; 06/09/19 05:17 AM. Reason: add link to Breezy Stories
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