Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread
Print Thread
Go To
Page 1 of 2 1 2
#547151 07/27/19 08:37 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
The Kingdom Of True Hearts

A moral question: if a known artist plays a (new) melody in your dream and you use it as your own, are you stealing from him? That's what happened with this song, one of my favorite songwriters Roddy Frame started a concert in my dream with a song from which I remembered a short snippet in the morning. I have went through his catalogy but so far I haven't found an exact match, but I could have heard it in a live recording or it could be some rare tracks which I might have heard on the radio... but anyway, let's just say that this song was strongly inspired by his music smile You can listen to his songs like Sister Shadow, Reason For Living, More Than A Law or Somewhere In My Heart as a reference.

In my dream, the song title was perhaps The Kingdom Of Heaven, at least I made the first version with that title, but I wasn't satisified with the result so now I have re-written most of it. Maybe another round of rewriting is needed, because the process has been quite long and difficult and I think the story is still bit too preachy... I would be more than happy to get feedback for things that don't work and how you would change them to work better.

RealDrums: NashvilleEven8
RealTracks:
Electric bass #2754
Acoustic piano #811
Electric guitars #694, #697
Baritone guitars #2444, #2625
Solo guitars #810, #2636
Organ #686

Vocals: Janne S
Mixed in Cakewalk by BandLab

Lyrics:

Through the narrow gate
walk the road of hardship
full of scorn and hate
you may fall or slip
but shed your wounds and purge your heart
then build your castle from timeless parts.

In the kingdom of true hearts
love is not a duel of rivals
for a favor of thrones
for a reward
but a struggle
where forgiveness and remorse
are the swords
that everyone affords.

You may be keen to judge
to swing your sword of justness
you may look for smudge
reasons to oppress
but might's not set to misapply
first take the timber out of your eye.

[Chorus]

You should not overlook a knight who rides her own way
don't decline her help when you stray
accept the kingdom's call
outside your guarded wall.

Your crown shows trust and care
don't ask your folks to praise it
if you boast that you are fair
some might see a hypocrite
just give your hand to whom it's due
don't sound a trumpet in front of you.

[Chorus]

--------------------
Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 7,170
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 7,170
Janne,
The 2nd chorus is really spot on.
I really like the arrangement of the 1st verse and the choruses.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,715
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,715
Janne,

A big Pop sound! Especially on the chorus. The melody sings nicely.

The vocal gets a bit buried in the chorus at times, could use with a bit of a volume increase? or maybe a touch of high EQ to raise it up? Not sure. It could just be the chunking guitar fighting the frequency - it seems to be centered (noticeable on the verses) along with the vocal. Perhaps if you panned that out some it would give the vocal the little bit of room it needs...

An interesting lyric and a really nice melody. Enjoyed.

fj

User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,944
Jim Offline
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,944
Nice tune...
As you mentioned...
It may be "still bit too preachy"...
But IMHO its a message we all need to apply to our lives...
I agree with Floyd that the "vocal gets a bit buried in the chorus at times"...
But for me it doesn't take away from the song...
I actually enjoyed listening.


Jim
†=☮&♥
User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 3,414
PG Music Staff
Offline
PG Music Staff
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 3,414
Really well done - and I enjoyed your explanation of the inspiration behind the song. It's intriguing to me where inspiration can come from! It's a solid write, and nicely catchy with some fantastic progressions.

Thanks for sharing smile


Cheers,
Deryk
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,052
G
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
G
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,052
Really pretty song Janne!! Very melodic....just flows so nicely! I think your choice of tracks and your mix are excellent! I too have had that feeling, not sure if something is mine, or "borrowed". This is really great stuff!! Take care. Greg

User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Janne,
I like upbeat pop songs that avoid cliche`s ( Mr Frame was a good inspiration, I`m glad you mentioned his songs!).
You have a good chorus melody with and an arrangement that captures the feel of guitar driven pop.Not preachy to me.
I agree the vocals could be brought up in the mix.
You asked for feedback;there are a few phrases that sound a little awkward:

please take my suggestions on this verse with a grain of salt- I don`t take kindly to people messing with my lyrics!

You may be keen to judge
to swing your sword of justness
(justice)
you may look for smudge
(look to smudge/look for a smudge)
reasons to oppress
but might's not set to misapply
(your might`s misapplied)
first take the timber out of your eye.


Robert

Last edited by Robertkc; 07/29/19 05:48 AM.
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 5,647
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 5,647
Janne

Nothing to add to the good advice above. Enjoyable song & melody especially the chorus.

Peter

User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,884
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,884
Janne,

I agree with the comments about the vocals being buried sometimes.

But a good sound and arrangement, chorus is especially strong.

User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Originally Posted By: rayc
Janne,
The 2nd chorus is really spot on.
I really like the arrangement of the 1st verse and the choruses.


Thanks Ray for your positive comment smile

Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
A big Pop sound! Especially on the chorus. The melody sings nicely.
The vocal gets a bit buried in the chorus at times, could use with a bit of a volume increase? or maybe a touch of high EQ to raise it up? Not sure. It could just be the chunking guitar fighting the frequency - it seems to be centered (noticeable on the verses) along with the vocal. Perhaps if you panned that out some it would give the vocal the little bit of room it needs...
An interesting lyric and a really nice melody. Enjoyed.
fj


Thanks Floyd your kind and valuable feedback smile I have used Ozone Imager for the main guitar to spread it, maybe it could be spread even wider. Or I could generate two tracks of the guitar and pan them. I'll check also possible masking issues.

Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Originally Posted By: Jim
Nice tune...
As you mentioned...
It may be "still bit too preachy"...
But IMHO its a message we all need to apply to our lives...
I agree with Floyd that the "vocal gets a bit buried in the chorus at times"...
But for me it doesn't take away from the song...
I actually enjoyed listening.


Thanks Jim for your kind words smile The lyric was originally based on the Sermon on the Mount, and some famous lines are preachy as they should be, but they work so well that I left them. I'm glad you are ok with it.

Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,664
PG Music Staff
Offline
PG Music Staff
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,664
Great work on this Janne, I really enjoyed the overall tone of this. I found this very easy to listen and I really dug the chord progression. Fantastic work on the vocals. Keep it up!


Cheers,
Joe
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 15,818
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 15,818
"but shed your wounds and purge your heart
then build your castle from timeless parts."

Love those lines. There's a lot packed in there to ponder.

Well done and as mentioned the chorus is very strong.

We enjoyed it...and the backstory!

J&B


Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more.
If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks!
Our Videos are here on our website.
User Showcase
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,933
Veteran
Online Content
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,933
Janne,
Good arrangement and interesting lyrics!

I agree with most that vocals hiding a bit, but that might be also related to: You sing with soft voice, but your arrangement has some harsh instruments (guitars! + strong rhythm track). If I had it "my way" I would either try to sing it more "aggressively" or change out instruments that are aggressive to softer versions.

Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,989
PG Music Staff
Offline
PG Music Staff
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,989
I've been really enjoying a lot of the lyrics folks have been posting up lately, and the songs that go with them and listening to the finished pieces have made me like them even more. Really great stuff, thanks for sharing this with us.


Cheers,
Ember
User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,916
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,916
I felt like this was the best thing I've heard from you, very accessible and stayed with me in a good way. Looking forward to more like this.


Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,677
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,677
Dear Janne,

well, what should I say..? A great song all the way. Very appealing lyrics with a message, a good melody and I LOVE the backing track. I'd agree what has been said about the vocal volume, but after all that doesn't devaluate this great song at all. Very good work, I enjoyed listening (and reading) a lot.

Take vare,

Stefan

User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,944
Jim Offline
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,944
Originally Posted By: jannesan
Originally Posted By: Jim
Nice tune...
As you mentioned...
It may be "still bit too preachy"...
But IMHO its a message we all need to apply to our lives...
I agree with Floyd that the "vocal gets a bit buried in the chorus at times"...
But for me it doesn't take away from the song...
I actually enjoyed listening.


Thanks Jim for your kind words smile The lyric was originally based on the Sermon on the Mount, and some famous lines are preachy as they should be, but they work so well that I left them. I'm glad you are ok with it.

Janne

I have to be OK with it...
After all, the Sermon on the Mount contains the commandments the Lord expects each & everyone of us to keep.


Jim
†=☮&♥
User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,450
Originally Posted By: Deryk - PG Music
Really well done - and I enjoyed your explanation of the inspiration behind the song. It's intriguing to me where inspiration can come from! It's a solid write, and nicely catchy with some fantastic progressions.
Thanks for sharing smile


Thanks Deryk for your very kind words smile Dreams are great inspiration for me, I think I have already written more than 10 songs that have started from a dream idea. I wish that some day I get my "Yesterday"-level hit idea laugh

Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Go To
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
ChatPG

Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.

ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.

PG Music News
Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: AI Stems & Notes - split polyphonic audio into instruments and transcribe

This video demonstrates how to use the new AI-Notes feature together with the AI-Stems splitter, allowing you to select an audio file and have it separated into individual stems while transcribing each one to its own MIDI track. AI-Notes converts polyphonic audio—either full mixes or individual instruments—into MIDI that you can view in notation or play back instantly.

Watch the video.

You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!

Bonus PAK and 49-PAK for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®

With your version 2026 for Windows Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition or PlusPAK purchase, we'll include a Bonus PAK full of great new Add-ons for FREE! Or upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for only $49 to receive even more NEW Add-ons including 20 additional RealTracks!

These PAKs are loaded with additional add-ons to supercharge your Band-in-a-Box®!

This Free Bonus PAK includes:

  • The 2026 RealCombos Booster PAK: -For Pro customers, this includes 27 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles. -For MegaPAK customers, this includes 25 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles. -For UltraPAK customers, this includes 12 new RealStyles.
  • MIDI Styles Set 92: Look Ma! More MIDI 15: Latin Jazz
  • MIDI SuperTracks Set 46: Piano & Organ
  • Instrumental Studies Set 24: Groovin' Blues Soloing
  • Artist Performance Set 19: Songs with Vocals 9
  • Playable RealTracks Set 5
  • RealDrums Stems Set 9: Cool Brushes
  • SynthMaster Sounds Set 1 (with audio demos)
  • Android Band-in-a-Box® App (included)

Looking for more great add-ons, then upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for just $49 and you'll get:


  • 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums with 20 RealStyle.
  • FLAC Files (lossless audio files) for the 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums
  • MIDI Styles Set 93: Look Ma! More MIDI 16: SynthMaster
  • MIDI SuperTracks Set 47: More SynthMaster
  • Instrumental Studies 25 - Soul Jazz Guitar Soloing
  • Artist Performance Set 20: Songs with Vocals 10
  • RealDrums Stems Set 10: Groovin' Sticks
  • SynthMaster Sounds & Styles Set 2 (sounds & styles with audio demos)

Learn more about the Bonus PAKs for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®!

Video: New User Interface (GUI)

Join Tobin as he takes you on a tour of the new user interface in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®! This modern GUI redesign offers a sleek new look with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, and a smoother workflow. The brand-new side toolbar puts track selection, the MultiPicker Library, and other essential tools right at your fingertips. Plus, our upgraded Multi-View lets you layer multiple windows without overlap, giving you a highly flexible workspace. Many windows—including Tracks, Piano Roll, and more—have been redesigned for improved usability and a cleaner, more intuitive interface, and more!

Watch the video.

You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!

Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!

We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!

Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.

Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!

Special offers until December 31st, 2025!

All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.

Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!

Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!

We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!

Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!

In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!

Special offers until December 31st, 2025!

All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.

Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!

We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!

Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.

Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!

Special offers until December 31st, 2025!

All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.

Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!

Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!

We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!

Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!

In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!

Special offers until December 31st, 2025!

All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.

Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Forum Statistics
Forums57
Topics85,292
Posts790,613
Members39,854
Most Online25,754
Jan 24th, 2025
Newest Members
StratMan1965, CPIA2002, janhardo, Minstrel, Deb D
39,854 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
jpettit 321
MarioD 215
DrDan 214
Noel96 163
DC Ron 143
Rob Helms 127
Today's Birthdays
dreadmon, Jazzer_Phil, SteelScott
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5