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Hi y’all,

some of you know I grew up with a lot of blues and (old-school) R&B. And since the number of topics sung about in those genres is not really infinite, I’ve heard a lot of songs dealing with mean women who were messing around leaving their boy friends or husbands in deep and dark dispair.

Well, I thought it was about time (if not my darn duty) to flip the ... eh ... to tell such a ruthless lady off, so here’s my modest blues rock shuffle contribution to the rehabilitation of male self-esteem. (What do you mean by’ There are also men who cheat on their ladies.’? No kiddin’...?).

If The Phone Don’t Ring (You’ll Know That It’s Me).

- VIDEO (+ lyrics)

- AUDIO (+ lyrics)

- AUDIO (on Soundcloud)

Watching the corresponding video you will be dazzled (if not blinded...) by an overwhelming amount of beauty: sheer beauty, even eternal beauty, but - all things must pass - also fading beauty.

And you will be witness of the most heartwarming moment, when my dear old friend and fellow musician from the 70s, Peter „Mr Saxy“ Suessmuth, will finally get the reward from his (mostly female) fans that he had been waiting for almost his entire life.

Most of the video scenes were already recorded in January when Maha was still healthy and thus could appear in the video and support resp. brighten up the horns section.

Hope you’ll enjoy the song and the video - take care,

Stefan

********************************************

Here’s the technical stuff:

Created my own RealStyle using the following RealTracks:

RealDrums-BluesRockShuffle^1-HHt,OpnHHt
RT1583:Bass, Electric, TexasBluesRockShuffle Sw 130
RT655:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm TexasBoogieShuffle Sw 140 (A:
RT1591:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm TexasBluesRockShuffle Sw 130
RT1953:Sax, Alto, Soloist TexasBluesRockShuffleMark Sw 130

Wrote the horns arrangement using the PianoRoll and had the MIDI tracks played back by Big Fish’s Vintage Horns (via Kontakt 5)

Maha used RealBand plus some 3rd-party plug-ins for the mix and Ozone 8 adv. for some mastering. I’m extremely proud of her, because she’s still anything but healthy.






Last edited by Crossroads; 08/30/19 02:38 AM.
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Man, am I going to be first again?!

Outstanding, Stefan, great song, performance by all (love the sax!), and video is tons of fun.

Clever how you flipped the image playing the strat (or can you play leftie too?)

Very much enjoyed, well done.

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Nicely done! Very catchy, and the video gave me a good chuckle smile I thought the MIDI here was really well utilized, and the mix was concise and professional. Catchy on the hook too.

Thanks for sharing!


Cheers,
Deryk
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Fun tune!! Lots of energy and excitement! I really like the attitude in the lyric! Horns sound great! Buffett has a song called "If the phone doesn't ring, it's me" which is a really cool song too. Really fun video too! Enjoyed the whole enchilada!!! Take care. Greg

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Stefan (& Maha)...

The first thing that struck me - right off the bat - was how good the mix was!!
The vocal is "tucked in" perfectly into a very big sound (as it should be for a rock song), yet is clear enough to understand every word. Not many folks ever "get that right". Very impressive.

The horns are extremely well done!

The bass, drums and guitars all sound good - clear, distinctive, yet (again) very well "tucked in the mix". Good vocals.

A clever write (as usual). And a very well done video - your best, I think.

Everybody's work on this is good. Maha deserves a special "shout out" for her mixing/mastering work on this...

fj

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Stefan,
This is totally awesome tune, generously soaked in creativity and humor. You are a huge asset of this forum. Enjoyed this a lot! Thumbs up to Maha.
I wish I could take a few master classes from you smile
Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

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Stefan,
A terrific write, arrangement,performance, production...and wigs!!
Very cool.

Robert

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You tell her, Stefan. The band rocks and the arrangement is strong. There's some good humor in the lyric, but it's not over-the-top "jokey". That's the blues. Another laugh-out-loud moment when underwears start flying onto the stage. Wonderful entertaining package and sounds good too.


BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
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That was a lot of fun to watch and listen to! Nice mix, clever music, fun video! laugh

(And good work with the horns!)


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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That was fun! The title (chorus) is clever and quite a hook. Solid production and songwriting. I listened to the audio first and then went to the video. I'm glad I did. Excellent production work on the video too.

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Stefan

Brilliant video - amazing job very inventive and a superb collection of wigs.

Rocking blues song - excellent mix, sounds pro all the way.

Clever, inventive & funny - a complete package.

Peter

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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Man, am I going to be first again?!

Outstanding, Stefan, great song, performance by all (love the sax!), and video is tons of fun.

Clever how you flipped the image playing the strat (or can you play leftie too?)

Very much enjoyed, well done.


Hi Dave,

yes, you managed to be the first again (and almost the last, too smile (

I'm glad that you enjoyed the song and the video and I really appreciate your very nice comment on both.

Can I play leftie? Man, I'm afraid I can't even play rightie properly.. Yes I mirrored the guitarist as I did with the Jeanoes: Recorded one, duplicated and then mirrored it.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Take care,

Stefan

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Originally Posted By: Deryk - PG Music
Nicely done! Very catchy, and the video gave me a good chuckle smile I thought the MIDI here was really well utilized, and the mix was concise and professional. Catchy on the hook too.

Thanks for sharing!


Thanks for your kind words, Deryk. If the video gave you a good chuckle: Waht more could I ask for?

Maha was very happy to read your comment on the mix and says 'Thank you', too.

Cheers,

Stefan

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Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Fun tune!! Lots of energy and excitement! I really like the attitude in the lyric! Horns sound great! Buffett has a song called "If the phone doesn't ring, it's me" which is a really cool song too. Really fun video too! Enjoyed the whole enchilada!!! Take care. Greg


Hello Greg,

it's nice to read that we obviously share the same sense of humour and that you enjoyed the song and the video, so thanks a lot for your positive comment!

Well, your hint that there's already a song with a pretty similar title came quite as a big surprise to me: I didn't even know that Warren Buffet was a singer, too. I always thought that he was the richest man in the world and there was no need for him to perform outside Wall Street... cool

Seriously - as I wrote in the video intro I did not invent the song title myself. When a British lady (a friend of my brother's) heard I've Changed For The Better (months before I published it), she provided me with a list of ten weird song titles which all tickled my fancy and would have been big fun to expand to fun lyrics, but most of them were - well - pretty inappropriate.

The one I used was the most (if not the only) innocuous one; the next one would have been something like 'I gave her my ring, but she gave me the f**ger.' See - couldn't use any more of that 'material'. And that's why I named her the 'Queen of Inappropriate Song Titles'...

Thanks again for your kind remarks.

Take care,

Stefan

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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Stefan (& Maha)...

The first thing that struck me - right off the bat - was how good the mix was!!
The vocal is "tucked in" perfectly into a very big sound (as it should be for a rock song), yet is clear enough to understand every word. Not many folks ever "get that right". Very impressive.

The horns are extremely well done!

The bass, drums and guitars all sound good - clear, distinctive, yet (again) very well "tucked in the mix". Good vocals.

A clever write (as usual). And a very well done video - your best, I think.

Everybody's work on this is good. Maha deserves a special "shout out" for her mixing/mastering work on this...

fj


Doctor Floyd,,

I think you can't imagine the impact of your very kind words on Maha's mix. In the course of her illness she lost so much self-confidence that hadn't dared to keep mixing up for months. And when I finally managed to persuade her to have a go again she was sure that her work wasn't good - even whenn I and friends of ours told her that she had done a great job.

But since you are something like this forum's silverback (hope that this expression is as positive in English as it is in German...) and your judgement means especially much, your words really psyched her up - I'm extremely grateful for that, thank you so much for that.

And, of course, I want to thank you for your kind comment on the song and the video, too. If people are entertained by my stuff that's all I do it for.

All the best,

Stefan

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Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Stefan,
This is totally awesome tune, generously soaked in creativity and humor. You are a huge asset of this forum. Enjoyed this a lot! Thumbs up to Maha.
I wish I could take a few master classes from you smile
Thank you for sharing!

Misha.


Dear Misha,

wow: 'generously soaked in creativity and humor' - what a comment.... Thank you so much for that, and I hope you will not be mad at me, if I might use that fabulous phrase on an other occasion. cool

Your comment means especially much to me as I know that you have a very adoroble sense of humor yourself.

Well - master class? Whenever you want, whatever you want. Since I don't think that the technical side of the video production is of too much interest for the majority of our forum friends, you can drop me a PM with any question you might have and I will be happy to explain, describe, give tips - whatever.

But here's one thing I can tell you right now: It's not rocket science - the most important ingredients are time and patience. Oh yes: and wigs, of course. So don't hesitate to contact me - I'd be flattered if you did.

Thanks again for a terrific comment.

Take care,

Stefan

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Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Stefan,
A terrific write, arrangement,performance, production...and wigs!!
Very cool.

Robert


Hi Robert,

thanks a lot for your very friendly comment - I really appreciate it a lot and I'm glad you enjoyed everything. Especially the wigs, of course. smile

Take care,

Stefan

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Folks here on the forum often use the term "ear candy." Well, this is ear AND eye candy smile

As floyd so eloquently and concisely stated the mix is superb. A couple bars in and you know that it is "right."

There's no need, given all that's already been said, to parse out all the elements of the mix. It's simply all there and all in the right place.
A wonderful sound stage.

And the video...your creativity seems to have no bounds. Beyond the technical wizardry it is simply FUN. So much to take in.
It was hard not to wonder what might follow the "under clothes" being tossed on the stage!

The on screen band and the BiaB band are as Gregg Allman used to say "hittin' the note."

The vocals nailed the feel. Perfecto. And a fine delivery of the cool lyric.

Y'all have a closet full of wigs?

Kudos to you and more kudos to Maha for the fine mix and mastering. Her efforts are obvious.

J&B





Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more.
If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks!
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Its all been said.
Great tune loved it.

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I really liked the use of the sax, and I felt this song had a good sense of humor to it. Thanks for sharing! w


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Ember
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Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.

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