I'm hearing Kristofferson-like overtones. I frankly don't think your little lyric idea is clever enough to carry the song, but it's close. I'd start, personally, with a rewrite of the lyrics and this time not rely so heavily on the cleverness of that one lyrical idea.

maybe I'm dense, but I don't think you took the idea anywhere either. How do you give stress? Who do you give stress to? What is their reaction? Lyrics should usually tell a story, not just state your condition.