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Hi Folks. Have to warn from the start, if you do not like picante subject tunes, please fast forward to the next user post. If you stayed, here is a tune I wrote in college...based on partially true story. Once I was walking to school with a friend and we saw a very colorful and drunk prostitute walking right on the road. My buddy pulled the woman to the side and helped her to the bench even bought her water. She was sincere, and thankful that we helped her. She talked to us like a parent to children, not in a manner as with probable clients. My stereotype of that profession gathered from movies and classics like Ivan Kuprin or even from a song of another classic - Sting has shuttered to pieces. It seemed (maybe just seemed..) that she was pretty comfortable and happy with the lifestyle she had. Looking back, I find the image fascinating of two long haired high school boys in black lather jackets talking to a very vivid personage at least twice of their age  I wrote this tune about 2 years after that encounter. Yesterday I had a friend over, and he offered his help to revive it. Chris played digital piano. Our session was only half an hour or so, but Chris understood exactly what I wanted. I did not bother to record him in midi, as I just wanted a sketch, but it came out a bit better than I expected from first try, so I just left everything in place. Hope you will not find this tune offensive, this was certainly not the intention, just a tribute to good times and to a friend passed away some time ago. Comments positive or less than positive are always welcomed. NY Courtesan lyrics: I walk up early in the morning, checked my email. It offered me to enhance my breast, And an elephant pXXis - to have success A million dollars to wipe my #ss But I said , NO honey bunny, I am fit and fine Its all intriguing, but I will stay on a side. I looked at my boobs and they have natural vibe, they are so firm - no one can deny em I am like a dynamite on a sunny day, I got my silk stockings from an auction Ebay A funky leather purse at a local yard sale A Salvation Army boots - if you may No man can resist me, I am like a drug Sometimes I am low and sometimes I am high. Man sit in a bar, sipping their wine C'mon C'mon bartender lend me some time. I'll make them sing, I will make them dance Put on that hot tape DJ, lets rock this fence. We danced through the night and until the dawn The biker at the corner table had my tongue His breath smelled liked booze and buncha cats I barely had a chance to disappear fast My Salvation Army boots have carried me away Oh' boy that was a long night and now I am dead Tech stuff: My friend asked to mention him as Mr.Chris, so here are the credits: Mr.Chris- Digital piano / blues improvisation / Rhodes patch me: Lyrics/vocals/mix BIAB: RealDrumsWorldPercKeitaSlow Various FX of Sony libraries and self made Mixed in Cakewalk.
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Sounds like an interesting encounter Misha, and memorialised in song now. Interesting musical/visual journey. Given the preamble I associated lines with characters you mentioned and with the life style of the less seen. I enjoyed the journey through your past. Mr. Chris sprinkled nice piano fairy dust too.
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Misha,
I like it!
An interesting, refreshing write. The music is cool. The vocal is impassioned.
A bit like listening to Frank Zappa.
fj
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Very creative, and funny too.
Well done, Misha, and a tip of the hat to Mr. Chris too.
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Loved this, very different to what is usually posted.
The lyrics and your voice deliver this in a unique way.
Thanks
win 10 64 bit 16gb,i7 chip, ssd 500gb, m-audio air, ,Roland BK-7M, 1000,shure sm7b,sonar,acid,mixcraft, variety of plugins.Sample tank 3,Kontakt. TC Helicon Voicelive 3 2 . https://beatmaster1.bandcamp.com/releases
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Ray, Thank you for listening and kind words! I find that random, ambiguous and awkward situations create one the the most potent memories  --- FJ, Thank you for your support! It is 20 years old "fresh", but I am happy that I finally re-done this. --- Dave, thank you for listening and your feedback! Will forward your compliment to Mr.Chris. --- Beatmaster, Thank you! I was not sure if this would survive through the night on the forum or it would be banned 
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I really enjoyed the lyrics, especially the following:
"I am like a dynamite on a sunny day, I got my silk stockings from an auction Ebay A funky leather purse at a local yard sale A Salvation Army boots - if you may"
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers, Ember
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Hi Misha,
This is great!!!!
I love the humour and your singing and your arrangement present it really, really well. This is one of the most creative and entertaining songs I've heard in recent times. Kudos to you!
You must have a pretty amazing imagination!
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this.
All the best, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Ember, Thank you for listening and you support! --- Noel, Thank you for your time and super kind comments here and on SC!
Misha.
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Misha
That was refreshing, something quite different and enjoyable.
I liked floyd's reference to Zappa.
Excellent.
Peter
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Love it Misha!!! It is a great sonic and lyrical treat!! Great stuff!!! Take care. Greg
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What an intriguing intro, the song keeps that promise it gives. Nice bluesy tune with exciting rhythmical bed and very lively mix. That piano is an excellent addition. Nice to hear Keita drums again. Funny lyrics with strong images, I can almost smell the bar and those boots  Enjoyable vocals. Janne
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Lots of fun is packed into this song.
Sensational lyrics, a great vibe throughout and the inserted comments gave it fantastic unexpected humor.
Marvelous effort.
BIAB & RB2026 Win.(Audiophile), Windows 10 Pro & Windows 11, Cakewalk Bandlab, Izotope Prod.Bundle, Roland RD-1000, Synthogy Ivory, Session Keys Grand S & Electric R, Kontakt, Focusrite 18i20, KetronSD2, NS40M, Pioneer Active Monitors.
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I love your stuff, Misha. Great backstory. This is so darn funny--I am chuckling as I am typing. Great song all around--lyrics, music, instrumentation. Thank you for lifting my day!
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Fun, fun fun. And original. I like how Salvation Army comes out "Salivation Army". Somehow, seem appropriate. Cheers, Mike
Mike Garry BIAB 2025/RealBand (5), UltraPak, Kontakt, EZmix, Ozone 9 Elements, Audacity, MSi PC, Windows 11, 64bit, 16GB ram, CPU: Intel i7. https://soundcloud.com/user-952388172
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Hi Misha ...
That was so cool and funny! Great story and sung as only you can sing it. I'm delighted you redid this one and posted it for us. Totally loved it!!! best to you,
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Dear Misha and Mr. Chris, right ??? Man, your tune, NY Courtesan, is as funny as Superman wearing a pink costume  !!! The sound FX, the ad-libs, all add to the spontaneous, risque feel of this musical romp. Your vocal performance is energetic, seriously wacky, and it sounds as though you had a whole mess of fun producing the song. Keita Ogawa's infectiously rhythmic percussion Real Track combined with Mr. Chris' digital piano improvisations pumps some serious funk into the track. It's roof-raising party music with nicely nasty lyrics  !!! Wish I had been in the studio watching you guys recording this humorous madness. Two thumbs, arms, and legs up on NY Courtesan! - bluage -
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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Now that's entertainment!
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Peter, Thank you for giving this time and your support! --- Greg, Thank you for listening and positive comments! --- Janne, Thank you for nice feedback! Keita drums was very "random" choice. As soon as I heard it, I knew it will work and just stopped looking further  --- VideoTrack, Thank you for tuning in and your support! --- Ezekiel's Storm, Thank you for giving this time! I am glad it brought smile. --- Mike, Thank you for listening! "Salvation Army comes out "Salivation Army"." Lol! good one. --- Alan, Thank you for listening and your kind words! --- Loren, Thank you for listening and your awesome comments! I got very lucky with Chris on this one. No practice, nothing. We played first time, recorded on the second, 2-3 hours mixing and Frankenstein is aLivE! Short, but sure was fun to make. --- Tangmo, Thank you!  Misha.
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I looked at my boobs and they have natural vibe, they are so firm - no one can deny em I just saw a headline where some guy just got awarded some $1 billion dollars because his medication caused him to grow breasts, so that line was especially ironic when I heard you sing it.  I'm not sure what I was expecting to hear, but that was... something else. Fun listen! 
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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