Richard,
Interesting tune. Almost like a modern revival of early 90s, which seems popular these days. Sure worth further working on it. I read comments by Ray(rayc) and by David (dcuny). I agree on what they said. Here are 3 cents from me.

I took a couple of master classes with local Jazz singer about a year ago. She showed me how to hold the head right, how to breathe and what not to do....But the most valuable point she gave, and that is echoing David's point, is to try finding your inner voice. Something you are comfortable with. It is an ongoing challenge for me, but that tip was priceless.

Seems you are know your plugins. Try to find a demo of "Breath Controller" to suppress inhales / exhales. Of course you can do that manually, but plugin does save time. I believe vocals would sound cleaner.

and a final cent. Pop filter. Couple of weeks back, I posted this topic:
https://www.pgmusic.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=555125#Post555125

I am a big fan of that thing smile