Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread
Print Thread
Go To
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Deej56 #565378 11/22/19 05:55 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 139
Apprentice
Offline
Apprentice
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 139
Very nice...touching

Deej56 #566064 11/24/19 11:10 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,052
G
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
G
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,052
Really cool song!! A pretty melody, strong write, and the vocal is killer...so passionate and authentic!! Really nice job on this Deej!! Take care. Greg

Deej56 #567524 11/29/19 05:14 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,060
D
Deej56 Offline OP
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
D
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,060
Marc, Jim and Greg,

Thanks much for stopping in and giving this one a spin! It's very much appreciated. Glad it was worth the listen!

My best to you all,

Deej

Deej56 #569654 12/10/19 12:01 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 20,199
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 20,199
Hi Deej,

Wow this is great!

I've got it playing on repeat while I'm typing and it's pretty much impossible to type anything because I keep stopping to listen.

These lyrics are so incredibly potent that they radiate competence in every direction. What a great first verse! You had me from the very start and then when I head "swarms of thunderstorms", I had to stop and double-check that I heard correctly. That's such an amazing metaphor! Kudos to you for coming up with it. It's such a vivid image and says so much in so few words.

Everything about this is spectacular. Your singing is always a treat to listen to and these lyrics and this melody sit incredibly well with your vocals. Through your writing and your performing, you've captured the anguish of a broken heart so very, very well.

Stunning work.

All the best,
Noel


MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2025
Deej56 #569937 12/11/19 08:23 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 219
Apprentice
Offline
Apprentice
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 219
Hi Deej, Gotta say I absolutely love this song. It takes a true lyricist to use words like cowering, swarms and wreckage and not make them sound clumsy. While I'm on lyrics, I have one tiny niggle, but I have to offer it.
The line: "since she’s gone I’m half-alive." is written as a rhyme for 'having fallen from her heights' and it's the only line in the song that jars for me as it's the only one not a true rhyme.
Maybe something like "Since she's gone, the winter bites" or some such, There are many words that would work better.
Great emotion in the vocal too.
Keep 'em coming. smile


Music is what feelings sound like.
Deej56 #569957 12/11/19 10:27 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,987
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,987
Very nice! Well written lyrics. You really captured the emotions of this song well. Great melody line, very fitting for the lyrics.

You are making great progress with BB.

Steve


Steve Young
Music
"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann
Noel96 #570035 12/11/19 07:29 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,060
D
Deej56 Offline OP
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
D
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,060
Noel,

Such kind comments . . . thank you so much for listening . . . multiple times no less (sorry about that, LOL)! Really pleased you enjoyed the listen!

Regards,

Deej

User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,060
D
Deej56 Offline OP
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
D
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,060
Mr. Songman,

So glad you liked it . . . thanks for stopping in. Fair comment on the half-rhyme in the first verse, and my preference is always for a more perfect rhyme. But it was a trade off between that perfect rhyme and saying what I wanted to say . . . and the "half-alive" seemed most in line with what the singer is feeling . . . at least in my head. My hope is that the near rhyme is close enough, and early enough in the song, that it doesn't resonate too adversely. Definitely food for thought. Thanks much for offering up the feedback.

My best to you,

Deej

User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,060
D
Deej56 Offline OP
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
D
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,060
Thanks, Steve. It's baby steps with BIAB. Try to learn something new everyday, but learning enough to know how far I am way from all you superstars. Thanks for stopping in and giving this one a spin.

My best to you,

Deej

Deej56 #570194 12/12/19 01:22 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 20,199
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 20,199
Hi Deej,

I hope you don't mind my jumping in again!

I've just read Songman's and your thoughts on rhyme. This is a topic that's very dear to me and, if it is ok with you, I'd like to share my perspective and add it to the mix (for what it's worth -- which isn't all that much right now since our Aussie dollar is not standing as tall and proud as it did a while ago). I hope you don't mind. Just let me know if you want me to delete this post and I will.


For better or worse, here are my thoughts...

I'm a huge subscriber to Pat Pattison's (link) approach to song- and lyric-writing. I've been to heaps of his weekend seminars over the years and every time, without exception, I come away both impressed and inspired. He's an amazing teacher.

As can be found in his books, Pat's approach to rhyming is driven primarily by the three following considerations...

(a) lyric acceleration and/or deceleration
(b) lyric and melodic closure
(c) boosting emotional content of lyric phrases -- this usually happens as a result of (a) and (b)

When it comes to creating a sense of closure for the listener, a perfect rhyme does it best. I'm guessing that this is why many of Shakespeare's long speeches end in rhyming couplets... they create a strong sense of completion.

A perfect rhyme has a sense of 'balance' about it and this 'balance' creates a sense of finality. This brings a sense of comfort to the brain.

Where things get very interesting, though, is with the imperfect rhymes. There are five of these (assonance, consonance, additive rhyme, subtractive rhyme, family rhyme - these are names that Pat gives them).

With the imperfect rhymes, there is a lack of the complete closure that accompanies perfect rhyme and this lack of closure creates a very slight sense of a 'lack of balance' in listeners' minds. This, in turn, induces emotion in the listener's mind. The end result is that if one wants to boost the emotional content of a lyric, imperfect rhymes are one of the lyricist's best tools for doing this. One of Pat's favourite sayings is that "Motion creates emotion".

To see this in action, have a look at verse 1 of Blowin' In The Wind written by Bob Dylan in 1962. For many, this song was definitive of its time.



DIRECT LINK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld6fAO4idaI

Here are the lyrics...

Originally Posted By: Bob Dylan
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
How many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind


The first lot of rhymes are -- man / sand / banned (Group 1)

  • As a test to confirm that these three rhymes are all necessary for lyric motion and that they support one another, try changing the two instances of 'man' in the first two lines to 'boy'. Now read verse 1 aloud. After doing this, it's easy to hear how the lyrics lose their flow. 'Man' rhyming with 'sand' is the better option for the lyrics. This is what Pat would call an additive rhyme.

The Group 2 rhymes that help drive this song are -- friend / wind and the repetition of 'wind'. Friend and wind are what Pat calls consonance rhymes (the 'nd' sound) and are the most unstable of all sonic relations.

  • Try saying the whole verse out loud and stop at the end of the second last line (i.e. omit the final line). The verse still works because of the consonance rhyme however the last sentence is left hanging and there's a noticeable feeling of discomfort because of this lack of completion. This still supports the song's message, though. Repeating the "The answer is blowin' in the wind" brings about a sense of closure without overly reducing the effect of the consonance rhyme between friend and wind.

    More than that, though, this repetition reinforces all the questions that have been asked in verse 1 and the lack of complete closure that is created by the effect of consonance (friend / wind) is terrific at enhancing the reflective mood created by these questions. (In my opinion, at least.)

What is all the more amazing to me is that this emotional content is created by using a mixture of additive rhyme (man / sand), perfect rhyme (sand / banned), consonance (friend / wind) and repetition (wind / wind as well as 'How many' / 'How many' and 'the answer' / 'the answer'). These sonic relationships in conjunction with the use of questions make for a lyric journey of existentialism that overrides the feelings of happiness and buoyancy that a bright tempo and mostly major-chord-based accompaniment usually creates.

For me, this is immensely thoughtful, incredibly thought-provoking and very clever song- and lyric-writing by Bob Dylan. Time has not diminished the power and purpose that is inherent in this song.

Just my two cents worth!

Regards,
Noel

Quote:
Books by Pat Pattison
1. Songwriting: Essential Guide to Rhyming
2. Songwriting: Essential guide to Lyric Form and Structure
3. Writing Better Lyrics (2nd ed.)
4. Link to a pdf with Pat's types of rhymes


MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2025
Deej56 #570202 12/12/19 02:04 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,296
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,296
What a cool song! Everything works so well. Your delivery was fantastic!


Chad (Hope that makes it easier)

TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
Deej56 #570221 12/12/19 04:45 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,281
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,281
Very nice tune and vocals.Very good choice of instruments.

Mike B.


Music should be part of your life
http://www.soundclick.com/blackcatjazzcafeband
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Go To
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
ChatPG

Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.

ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.

PG Music News
Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: AI Stems & Notes - split polyphonic audio into instruments and transcribe

This video demonstrates how to use the new AI-Notes feature together with the AI-Stems splitter, allowing you to select an audio file and have it separated into individual stems while transcribing each one to its own MIDI track. AI-Notes converts polyphonic audio—either full mixes or individual instruments—into MIDI that you can view in notation or play back instantly.

Watch the video.

You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!

Bonus PAK and 49-PAK for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®

With your version 2026 for Windows Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition or PlusPAK purchase, we'll include a Bonus PAK full of great new Add-ons for FREE! Or upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for only $49 to receive even more NEW Add-ons including 20 additional RealTracks!

These PAKs are loaded with additional add-ons to supercharge your Band-in-a-Box®!

This Free Bonus PAK includes:

  • The 2026 RealCombos Booster PAK: -For Pro customers, this includes 27 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles. -For MegaPAK customers, this includes 25 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles. -For UltraPAK customers, this includes 12 new RealStyles.
  • MIDI Styles Set 92: Look Ma! More MIDI 15: Latin Jazz
  • MIDI SuperTracks Set 46: Piano & Organ
  • Instrumental Studies Set 24: Groovin' Blues Soloing
  • Artist Performance Set 19: Songs with Vocals 9
  • Playable RealTracks Set 5
  • RealDrums Stems Set 9: Cool Brushes
  • SynthMaster Sounds Set 1 (with audio demos)
  • Android Band-in-a-Box® App (included)

Looking for more great add-ons, then upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for just $49 and you'll get:


  • 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums with 20 RealStyle.
  • FLAC Files (lossless audio files) for the 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums
  • MIDI Styles Set 93: Look Ma! More MIDI 16: SynthMaster
  • MIDI SuperTracks Set 47: More SynthMaster
  • Instrumental Studies 25 - Soul Jazz Guitar Soloing
  • Artist Performance Set 20: Songs with Vocals 10
  • RealDrums Stems Set 10: Groovin' Sticks
  • SynthMaster Sounds & Styles Set 2 (sounds & styles with audio demos)

Learn more about the Bonus PAKs for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®!

Video: New User Interface (GUI)

Join Tobin as he takes you on a tour of the new user interface in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®! This modern GUI redesign offers a sleek new look with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, and a smoother workflow. The brand-new side toolbar puts track selection, the MultiPicker Library, and other essential tools right at your fingertips. Plus, our upgraded Multi-View lets you layer multiple windows without overlap, giving you a highly flexible workspace. Many windows—including Tracks, Piano Roll, and more—have been redesigned for improved usability and a cleaner, more intuitive interface, and more!

Watch the video.

You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!

Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!

We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!

Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.

Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!

Special offers until December 31st, 2025!

All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.

Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!

Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!

We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!

Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!

In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!

Special offers until December 31st, 2025!

All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.

Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!

We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!

Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.

Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!

Special offers until December 31st, 2025!

All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.

Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!

Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!

We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!

Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!

In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!

Special offers until December 31st, 2025!

All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.

Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Forum Statistics
Forums57
Topics85,335
Posts791,076
Members39,858
Most Online25,754
Jan 24th, 2025
Newest Members
Max Gain, BEAN223, Brazilboyz, doccawudi, StratMan1965
39,858 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
jpettit 357
MarioD 227
DrDan 214
Noel96 157
DC Ron 150
Rob Helms 128
Today's Birthdays
There are no members with birthdays on this day.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5