Loved those lyrics! Mainly because it was a been there - done that kind of thing. I like the style you have chosen. Your vocal was very good.

I wouldn't change to much. I would just bring up the intro lead instrument some and maybe a few other mix changes but nothing drastic.

The only change in the lyrics might be in the chorus. I would add for a change at the end of the last line. Change would rhyme with pain.

Note these are just nitpicking things and others may or may not agree with me.

I fully enjoyed this song.

I arrived early to a restaurant.
The manager asks, "do you mind waiting a bit?"
I said no.
"Good", he said. "Take these drinks to table 3"

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware