There's one spot in the vocal that you could address for me: at the end of the 2nd line you sing "floor" and the fretless sounding bass picks that note up as youi hold it and slides down, (to the floor), with it - seems like your voice was caught and dragged with it by Melodyne - if you ended the note sooner it wouldn't seem connected with the bass.
Apart from that you have a courageous performance of a very interesting narrative to a nice backing.
Cool.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe