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Ok, this one worries me a little. I was thinking of songs like "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft", as sung by The Carpenters, when I wrote this one. No, it's nothing near as good as something like that, of course, but that was the inspiration for this, that's all. My only worry is that, on listening to it after I wrote it, it may sound a little "authoritarian" or "telling people what to do" kinda thing? I hope not, but please tell me if it does? This is what "came through" when I was engrossed in writing, so this is what I wrote ... but the human mind is such a bad filter to inspiration, goodness knows what actually ended up as the final version of what I actually wrote ... Anyway, here it is ... mistakes an' all :-) https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/nothing-but-to-cryUPDATE: rayc has once again been ever so kind as to help me out with the voice track ... so here is the updated link ... I've left the old link on here, just so you can see the difference, once more, should you wish to. But ... if you've got time only for one listen, the best link is his remix, below. Thank you Ray!!!
https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/nothing-but-to-cry-remixLYRICS: People of the world Who know nothing but strife Human hearts, so cold, Who spend this way their lives We're calling on you To listen to your soul Make your peace anew And make love your goal Stop the fighting now Stop the senseless hate To each other bow Before it's too late ... Stop destroying Earth Else you may just die ... Listen to your heart ... We can do nothing but to cry. *** People of this Earth Flying in empty space People of much worth Called the human race Teach your kids to play With much joy and laughter Make for war the cry That little bit softer ... Play your music loud And enjoy your dances In your newly found Peaceful romances ... Let your children smile Take away their fears Let every child Cry but happy tears ... [BRIDGE] People we call friends We thank you for listening, For the time you've spent Hearing and thinking On our plea for peace For agape love; As a final wish, This is all we have. Hug each other now Smiling through the tears Happiness allow Throughout your years ... Have a happy time Throughout your life ... And please try to be kind So that we no longer have to cry. ****** Song Summary ************* Title: And We Can Do Nothing But Cry - 21 February 2020 File: And We Can Do Nothing But Cry - 21 February 2020.SGU Key=C , Tempo 85, Length (m:s)=3:23 4 bar intro, 64 bar chorus, from bar 5 to bar 68. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody No Soloist track. Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Song is saved with bar changes for Key Signature, Style is _HAZIEST.STY (Haziest Rocking Guitar Soloist) RealTracks in style: 1759:Bass, Electric, Pop16ths Ev 085 RealTracks in style: 875:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm NorthernRockFuzzyA-B Sw16 075 RealTracks in style: 3343:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm HazyBalladChorus ev16 070 RealTracks in style: 3348:Guitar, Electric, Soloist HazyBallad ev16 070RealDrums [in style:DrivingPop8ths^01-a:HiHat, Snare, b:Open Hat, Snare *******************
Last edited by musician17; 02/23/20 01:11 PM.
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Not preachy - well, a little BUT it's pointing folk in the only direction available for anyone wishing our civilization and planet can continue.
Nice backing.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Yeah, I was worried about that. Whenever I hear ANYONE "preach", no matter how good their intentions, my first instinct is to run a mile ... and here I am, putting my name down to a song whose lyrics purport to essentially tell humans "how to act" ... yikes, haha.
If you say that the "preachy" effect is but minimal, though, that's a good thing ... always good to have outside perspective on these things! Thanks for listening!!! :-)
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It does have that kind-of "message from benevolent aliens" quality about it. The backing has some nice turn-arounds in the progression. Ray's mix is easier, but I will say that you seem to be moving in the right direction of "balance" between voice and music than some I've heard from you. Keep going that way.
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Very nicely done - like others, sometimes preachy songs can come off a as iffy for me but this one managed to bypass that completely. It clearly comes from a sincere place, and really doesn't put any particular few on the listener. It promotes positive thinking overall, which I like - and it's nicely catchy with a good performance too.
Great work all around - thanks for sharing!
Cheers,
Deryk
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Thanks Tangmo and Deryk :-) Yes, that's the kinda thing I was going for ... i.e. treading the fine balance between "message from 'benevolent aliens' " kinda feel, as Tangmo says - and avoiding sounding preachy or even encroaching on freewill :-) It's not easy to do, haha, and perhaps not the best thing to attempt, but I'm glad that it seems to have worked! Not something I intend to do again any time soon, though ... back to soppy heartache recitative "ballads" I go ... unless the "aliens" (aka my weird sense of what one may call inspiration) "come calling again", haha. But - again - THANK YOU for listening and commenting on this experimental effort of mine! :-)
And thanks, Tangmo, for your comments about voice and balance. I'm very much a newbie to this thing and don't have any pretences about my efforts being anything other than "just for fun" experiments :-) ... so I'm glad to hear that I'm getting better, as, when I first started posting on here, those were the very first times I dabbled in anything like this. What sheer ... let's be kind and call it "courage" from me, right? But yes, it's good to learn and improve, so I'm glad that it seems I'm on that path! :-)
Thanks again for listening and for your comments :-)
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Really nicely done James!! A heavy write! I think your voice could be EQ'd with a little less high end. Nice work!! Take care. Greg
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James,
"please try to be kind" is my kind of preachy!
I like the marching sound of the backing and your voice over vocals ( always to my ears sounding like they are a prelude to a gospel type chorus)... or maybe just some oohs/aahs towards the end?
I like the style you are developing.
Robert
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Thanks Robert - genuinely chuffed that you like what I'm trying to do. This song, to be 100% honest, I am still somewhat doubtful about, but maybe it just needs a little re-writing and re-packaging, that's all? Or maybe I just need to let it go and leave it be, such as it is, without so much doubt - who knows. Regardless, thanks for listening and for such perceptive and kind comments!
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