Yes James, that and even a slightly higher tempo is improving the song. I liked listening to this song as well!
But there are some things I have to say about The Servant: There is too much sibilance in the vocals and they are a little loud, and the second thing is; try to avoid very large lyrics. Concentrate also on the melody and the variations in it. Then both of them (the vocals and the music) can gain in entertainment/ listening pleasure, if I'm expressing myself correctly.

Cheers,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130