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Comparisons are odious says the proverb; making them in a love song, you might as well go all out.
The opening lines I had written 30 years ago and never used; this period of quiet is good for finding stuff to clearout.

You Could Have Been Cinderella


Style is _BUGGANE.STY (Buggane Celtic Cello Slow Waltz)

RealTracks in style: 777:Bass, Acoustic, PopWaltz Ev 085 (A:simple)
RealTracks in style: 2865:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CelticSlowWaltzDave Ev 100
RealTracks in style: 2936:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking FolkWaltzFintan Ev 100
RealTracks in style: 3268:Cello, Background CelticWaltzNatalie Ev 100
RealTracks in song: 2458:Strings, Rhythm CelticWaltz Ev 100
RealDrums [in style:PopWaltzEven8^7-a,b:Brushes, Sidestick



You Could Have Been Cinderella

you could have been Cinderella
I could have found your shoe
or Helen trapped in Troy I`d build a horse
to rescue you

I could have been Mr Darcy
saved by your better self
or losing Cleopatra Dick losing Liz
to a bottle on the shelf

it wasn`t like that
pick a love story from a hat
it was better than that

halfway along a tightrope
between the sun and moon
just like Hollywood our hands touching
not a moment too soon

we learned the star alphabet
your hearts secret I read
that`s how we met

you could have been Cinderella
I could have found your shoe
would that feel like holding hands
between the sun and moon

we learned the star alphabet
my hearts secret you read
pick a love story from a hat
it was better than that


© Robert Cordrey April 2020

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Impressive writing as always, especially since you wrote some of it 30 years ago!

My favorite verse:

"halfway along a tightrope
between the sun and moon
just like Hollywood our hands touching
not a moment too soon"

Also like how you come back to that theme:

"would that feel like holding hands
between the sun and moon"

Track sounds good, I really like the little instrumental break.

Very nice, Robert.

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Love these lyrics, Robert, including (or maybe especially) the 30 year-old start. Very clever writing and a very engaging presentation.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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This is a very cool track Robert. Loved the way you recorded the vocal on this. Very cool lyric. The cello was also a very nice touch. Well done


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Robert,

You always tell a story in interesting language.

"...Dick losing Liz
to a bottle on the shelf"

nice.

Good backing. An impassioned vocal (I thought it was just slightly too loud compared to the tracks).

"pick a love story from a hat
it was better than that"

Cool.

fj

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Robert,
Very nice resurrection! Beautiful lyrics & melody. Very bard'esque tune. Musical bed is perfect for this, not busy, so it is easy to follow storyline. Enjoyed it much. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Impressive writing as always, especially since you wrote some of it 30 years ago!

My favorite verse:

"halfway along a tightrope
between the sun and moon
just like Hollywood our hands touching
not a moment too soon"

Also like how you come back to that theme:

"would that feel like holding hands
between the sun and moon"

Track sounds good, I really like the little instrumental break.

Very nice, Robert.



Thank you, Dave!
Back then I had just discovered country music and was thinking the lines would suit an old style country song- after a few attempts I realised that`s a style I should avoid!
I appreciate your positive comments.

Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
Love these lyrics, Robert, including (or maybe especially) the 30 year-old start. Very clever writing and a very engaging presentation.


Thanks for your listen, Marty.

Originally Posted By: Scott C
This is a very cool track Robert. Loved the way you recorded the vocal on this. Very cool lyric. The cello was also a very nice touch. Well done


Scott,
Still in the closet for vocals- getting quite comfortable there.
Thanks for your thumbs up!

Robert

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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Robert,

You always tell a story in interesting language.

"...Dick losing Liz
to a bottle on the shelf"

nice.

Good backing. An impassioned vocal (I thought it was just slightly too loud compared to the tracks).

"pick a love story from a hat
it was better than that"

Cool.

fj



Floyd,
Agreed on the vocal volume - its tweaked back now.
I`m quite tickled that I thought of Burton & Taylor when Cleopatra popped up on a list of great love stories- thanks for mentioning that and your other likes.

Robert

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Hi Robert
'Pick a love story from a hat, it was better than that'. Just one of many good lines. Much enjoyed.
Regards,
Leon

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Scott,
Still in the closet for vocals- getting quite comfortable there.
Thanks for your thumbs up!

Robert [/quote]

Lol


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Very nice lyrics, easier to follow than in some of your earlier songs. Although the story is not that dark at a first glance, the melody and especially the cello turn it to a quite sad one which touches me. Very nice imagery like "halfway along a tightrope". And I like the evolving chorus text.

Janne


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Robert this is excellent. Loved that instrumental break. You vocal is spot on and your mix was perfect but what took it over the top for me were the lyrics. How did you come up with them?

Excellent song.


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Quite poetic lyrics.
Nice song.

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Well written song. Lots of references. That's tough to do. Nice use of the band.


My music can be heard at: The Cracks
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Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Robert,
Very nice resurrection! Beautiful lyrics & melody. Very bard'esque tune. Musical bed is perfect for this, not busy, so it is easy to follow storyline. Enjoyed it much. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.


Thanks, Misha!
I appreciate the nod to the melody ( based on a chord progression from a French gypsy ballad).

Originally Posted By: Leon1
Hi Robert
'Pick a love story from a hat, it was better than that'. Just one of many good lines. Much enjoyed.
Regards,
Leon


Leon,
Thank you for your listen and comments!

Originally Posted By: jannesan
Very nice lyrics, easier to follow than in some of your earlier songs. Although the story is not that dark at a first glance, the melody and especially the cello turn it to a quite sad one which touches me. Very nice imagery like "halfway along a tightrope". And I like the evolving chorus text.

Janne


Janne,
I debated about the cello as it does tend to darken the mood- in the end I couldn`t find a better fit.
Thanks for your attentive listen and kind comments.

Originally Posted By: MarioD
Robert this is excellent. Loved that instrumental break. You vocal is spot on and your mix was perfect but what took it over the top for me were the lyrics. How did you come up with them?

Excellent song.


Mario,
Some of the references came from a "famous lovers" Google- it could have been a long song but I limited the list to one example each from Fairy Tales,History, Fiction and Movies.
Thanks for the likes!

Robert

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Robert,

I really love this.

The lyrics are incredible.

Great job man.

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Defo a nice lyrical soothing journey , enjoyed this.

Thanks


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Robert, an interesting write. Keeps the listener engaged. The chord progression is also very interesting and somewhat unusual. Your vocal delivers the story very well. I enjoyed listening,Tom

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"we learned the star alphabet
my hearts secret you read
pick a love story from a hat
it was better than that"

Of many good lines, these might be our favorites.

The Cleopatra/Dick/Liz reference certainly gets your attention.
At least for those of us who remember some of the classics.

Your voice and the band really highlighted the great imagery all
through the song and the mix sparkles on the monitors.

We're glad you rediscovered your 30 year old note.

Enjoyed it!

J&B


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If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks!
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A beautiful song Robert! I always admire the way you craft lyrics for songs! The shifting of imagery from one line to the next is masterful! Thanks, Torrey

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