|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643 |
Down in the One-Ply Holler I had to jump on the bandwagon (pardon the pun) and write my own Covid-19 song. This one is full of jocularity and was fun to create and record, and is here to make your housebound isolation more bearable. The melody is predictable. For those of you unfamiliar with Appalachia, a "holler" (hollow) is a small valley. So my title has two meanings. One is that the "holler" refers to the persona's domicile, and the other is that using too much one-ply TP might make you holler. (Back in the day as many of you may remember, we referred to this type of TP as John Wayne toilet paper: rough, tough, and doesn't take any sh*t from anybody.) For those who are of a delicate constitution, I assure that no children were harmed or imprisoned during the making of this song. I used the style CTRNRGS - Chicken Pickin' Country sans the resonator soloist and added a baritone guitar soloist and a bluegrass acoustic solist. RealBass 592 Bass, Acoustic RealDrums-NashTrain RealPiano 598 Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming RealGuitar 411 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Train Pickin RT2501 Guitar, Baritone Electric, Soloist CountryWorkinBrent RT597 Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist Bluegrass Doc Lyrics I’ve binged watched every Netflix show Gonna give Amazon another look Clock on the wall moving much too slow I’ve read seven times ev’ry Harry Potter book I’m stuck here at home Endless meetings on the telephone Don’t think I’ll survive this caper With two rolls left of one-ply toilet paper My wife’s hair now has turned to gray My belly boasts 10 more pounds of lard I’m worn slap out, can’t last another day They’re gonna find my children buried in the backyard Chorus Zooming with the boss on the internet It’s 9 a.m. and I don’t care Wearing a shirt and tie is my best bet Nothing else on but faded holey underwear. Chorus Wylodine,
the gov’ner says we can go out
unlock them kids from their cages
And put on your britches
Gonna grab a root at Cracker Barrel
Who-eee, no more cans of Chef Boyardee Chorus
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,363
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,363 |
Hi Ezekiel,
That was simply inspired!
Well, what more can I say?
Full of social realism and hilarious throughout.
Can't stop singing the chorus after only one listen.
Going back for a second one.
Many thanks for making us laugh in these strange times.
ROG.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 5,016
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 5,016 |
Man, this is outstanding, Ezekiel. You speak for all of us. Trains had to blow the whistle through the holler, and, man, that's funny about John Wayne. Never heard that before. Now I gotta go hear this one again. Great lyrics!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643 |
Thanks, ROG. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643 |
Marty,
Thanks for the listen and comments!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,258
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,258 |
REALLY loved this one Ezekiel, great lyrics.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7,224
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7,224 |
Scott,
Absolutely amazing write! Shiny gemstone in the swamp of ongoing apathy.
Loved it! Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 16,080
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 16,080 |
 Creative and funny. A great combo. Hey, we get the holler thing...we call the bottom area between two small ridges on our property a holler  We really enjoyed this...the write, your vocals, the RT usage and the mix. Great use of that solo RT too. J&B PS At least you're not down to Sears catalogs. If they still exist!
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,497
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,497 |
Hi, Scott !
The first item that disappeared
from the stores over here in
Helsinki were toilet paper and
fortunately we had bought a
big bale much earlier so we
were out of the danger zone !
Funny how it was just TOILET PAPER
- made us think have or fellow Finns started
to EAT toilet paper ???
Well anyway, we can relate to your
absolutely superb lyrics and I´m sure
you must have had real fun putting
the tune together !
Hope you and your closest are safe
(and have enough toilet paper nowadays) !:))
Cheers
Dani
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,885
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,885 |
"Don’t think I’ll survive this caper
With two rolls left of one-ply toilet paper"
HA!
A clever write. An excellent BAND to back it up. And a good mix.
Fun. Entertaining. Nice to have a little levity regarding the current situation...
fj
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,363
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,363 |
Still laughing!
Sent a link to the whole family.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,335
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,335 |
Very Creative and very funny! I got a good laugh and we all can sure use that. Enjoyed very much, Tom
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Great fun- an outstanding write with a zinger in every verse.
I`m no expert, but for my dime you nailed the Appalachian references and accent!
Well done.
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,588
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,588 |
I LOL out loud!
This is a very creative write. You nailed that good ol' redneck sound! Loved it!
Back in my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender shouted "last call"!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 844
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 844 |
Great stuff Ezekiel.
Humorous, topical and inspired - a good happiness boost in these challenging times.
Mike
Mike Garry BIAB 2025/RealBand (5), UltraPak, Kontakt, EZmix, Ozone 9 Elements, Audacity, MSi PC, Windows 11, 64bit, 16GB ram, CPU: Intel i7. https://soundcloud.com/user-952388172
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 294
Apprentice
|
|
Apprentice
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 294 |
Funny little ditty, you put together.
Ha! a toilet paper song. Who would have thunk this a year ago?
Also, I speak Appalachian as my primary language and I'm still working on this "proper English" thing...
Thanks for posting your song.
Everyone needs a good chuckle now and then.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,052
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,052 |
Funny stuff!! And, MAN, can I relate!! Nice job with the arrangement and the mix!! Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643 |
REALLY loved this one Ezekiel, great lyrics. Thanks, Graham! Scott,
Absolutely amazing write! Shiny gemstone in the swamp of ongoing apathy.
Loved it! Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
Thank you for your kind assessment! Creative and funny. A great combo. Hey, we get the holler thing...we call the bottom area between two small ridges on our property a holler We really enjoyed this...the write, your vocals, the RT usage and the mix. Great use of that solo RT too. J&B PS At least you're not down to Sears catalogs. If they still exist! Sears Catalogs? We're using the neighborhood cats! Hi, Scott !
The first item that disappeared
from the stores over here in
Helsinki were toilet paper and
fortunately we had bought a
big bale much earlier so we
were out of the danger zone !
Funny how it was just TOILET PAPER
- made us think have or fellow Finns started
to EAT toilet paper ???
Well anyway, we can relate to your
absolutely superb lyrics and I´m sure
you must have had real fun putting
the tune together !
Hope you and your closest are safe
(and have enough toilet paper nowadays) !:))
Cheers
Dani Dani, all the toilet paper disappeared off the shelves here and is still difficult to obtain. Why on earth people would think they would need to stock up on toilet paper for a pandemic, I'll never figure that one out. Still laughing!
Sent a link to the whole family.
Thank, ROG, for bringing me more listeners.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,643 |
Great fun- an outstanding write with a zinger in every verse.
I`m no expert, but for my dime you nailed the Appalachian references and accent!
Well done.
Robert Thanks, Robert. I hope nobody takes me to task on the accent. It's probably a combination of different regional accents. :-) I LOL out loud!
This is a very creative write. You nailed that good ol' redneck sound! Loved it! Thanks, Mario. The humor in my song is the same type of stuff that used to get me in trouble in school. Great stuff Ezekiel.
Humorous, topical and inspired - a good happiness boost in these challenging times.
Mike Thanks for giving my song a listen, Mike! Funny little ditty, you put together.
Ha! a toilet paper song. Who would have thunk this a year ago?
Also, I speak Appalachian as my primary language and I'm still working on this "proper English" thing...
Thanks for posting your song.
Everyone needs a good chuckle now and then. Bawb, I lived in the mountains of southern West Virginia for a brief spell when I was a youngin. Then we moved back to Michigan where I reacquired my Midwestern accent. Funny stuff!! And, MAN, can I relate!! Nice job with the arrangement and the mix!! Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg Thanks so much, Greg!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,699
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,699 |
Hi Ezekiel I love it this is so funny great job I needed a laugh thanks eric
AMD (TM) 5950 4.9 GHz 16Core Processor 64 bit 32 bits of ram windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card Antelope ZenQ guitars Ibanez 2202a 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100,GT1000 pedal Yamaha HS8 studio monitors
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Update to Build 10 of RealBand® 2026 for Windows®!
If you're already using RealBand 2026 for Windows, download build 10 to get all the latest additions and enhancements.
Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® users: Build 904 now available!
If you're already using Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®, make sure to grab the latest update! Build 904 is now available for download and includes the newest additions and enhancements from our team.
Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® users: Build 1237 is now available!
Already a Band-in-a-Box 2026 for Windows user? Stay up to date and download the build 1237 to get all the latest additions and enhancements.
PowerTracks Pro 2026 for Windows is Here!
PowerTracks 2026 is here—bringing powerful new enhancements designed to make your production workflow faster, smoother, and more intuitive than ever.
The enhanced Mixer now shows Track Type and Instrument icons for instant track recognition, while a new grid option simplifies editing views. Non-floating windows adopt a modern title bar style, replacing the legacy blue bar.
The Master Volume is now applied at the end of the audio chain for consistent levels and full-signal master effects.
Tablature now includes a “Save bends when saving XML” option for improved compatibility with PG Music tools. Plus, you can instantly match all track heights with a simple Ctrl-release after resizing, and Add2 chords from MGU/SGU files are now fully supported... and more!
Get started today—first-time packages start at just $49.
Already using PowerTracks Pro Audio? Upgrade for as little as $29 and enjoy the latest improvements!
Order now!
Band-in-a-Box 2026 for Windows Special Offers End Tomorrow (January 15th, 2026) at 11:59 PM PST!
Time really is running out! Save up to 50% on Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® upgrades and receive a FREE Bonus PAK—only when you order by 11:59 PM PST on Thursday, January 15, 2026!
We've added many major new features and new content in a redesigned Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®!
Version 2026 introduces a modernized GUI redesign across the program, with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, smoother workflows, and a new Dark Mode option. There’s also a new side toolbar for quicker access to commonly used windows, and the new Multi-View feature lets you arrange multiple windows as layered panels without overlap, making it easier to customize your workspace.
Another exciting new addition is the new AI-Notes feature, which can transcribe polyphonic audio into MIDI. You can view the results in notation or play them back as MIDI, and choose whether to process an entire track or focus on specific parts like drums, bass, guitars/piano, or vocals. There's over 100 new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®.
There's an amazing collection of new content too, including 202 RealTracks, new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two RealDrums Stems sets, XPro Styles PAK 10, Xtra Styles PAK 21, and much more!
Upgrade your Band-in-a-Box for Windows to save up to 50% on most Band-in-a-Box® 2026 upgrade packages!
Plus, when you order your Band-in-a-Box® 2026 upgrade during our special, you'll receive a Free Bonus PAK of exciting new add-ons.
If you need any help deciding which package is the best option for you, just let us know. We are here to help!
Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® Special Offers Extended Until January 15, 2026!
Good news! You still have time to upgrade to the latest version of Band-in-a-Box® for Windows® and save. Our Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® special now runs through January 15, 2025!
We've packed Band-in-a-Box® 2026 with major new features, enhancements, and an incredible lineup of new content! The program now sports a sleek, modern GUI redesign across the entire interface, including updated toolbars, refreshed windows, smoother workflows, a new dark mode option, and more. The brand-new side toolbar provides quicker access to key windows, while the new Multi-View feature lets you arrange multiple windows as layered panels without overlap, creating a flexible, clutter-free workspace. We have an amazing new “AI-Notes” feature. This transcribes polyphonic audio into MIDI so you can view it in notation or play it back as MIDI. You can process an entire track (all pitched instruments and drums) or focus on individual parts like drums, bass, guitars/piano, or vocals. There's an amazing collection of new content too, including 202 RealTracks, new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two RealDrums Stems sets, XPro Styles PAK 10, Xtra Styles PAK 21, and much more!
There are over 100 new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®.
When you order purchase Band-in-a-Box® 2026 before 11:59 PM PST on January 15th, you'll also receive a Free Bonus PAK packed with exciting new add-ons.
Upgrade to Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® today! Check out the Band-in-a-Box® packages page for all the purchase options available.
Happy New Year!
Thank you for being part of the Band-in-a-Box® community.
Wishing you and yours a very happy 2026—Happy New Year from all of us at PG Music!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums57
Topics86,106
Posts800,280
Members40,037
| |
Most Online44,367
Mar 4th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean