Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Powerful!
Hans, this is my new favorite from you.
Love the arrangement, the lyrics, and this has to be your best vocal yet. Nice mix too!
Very, very good!


Hi Dave, thanks for my new ratings! I wished more people would feel the same about this dark song, but we have a crowdy forum...

Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
I'm with Floyd on this. Good song.


Hi Herb, thanks for that!

Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Hans,
Interesting self examination in the lyric matched by a strong vocal and a good melody.
The solo guitar & later piano/guitar simple arrangement works well.
It could be my `phones but I get some harshness in the vocal - sounds like its overcooked in places- you have a powerful voice!
A minor thought fwiw;I don`t think I`m squeamish about offensive language, I just find its better left out of lyrics- the one word here distracts a little.

Robert


Hello Robert, thanks for your well thought comments on the song! And no, it aint your ears that are playing tricks here.
Although the vocals also are not overcooked. It had to do with the way I did the mixing. I use two vocaltracks. Adjusted a minor vocal issue in one track with melodyne, but forgot to do the same in the second track. It's a minor thing but I will fix it later.
The song brought back bad memories i have to get rid of. still i made the song because many people can have these kind of feelings (and I liked the melody). About that offensive language you mentioned; that was not my intention; when I sing I try to empathize with the subject. The spot in the lyrics where I used that word was where I realized I was in big trouble (according to the situation). And this is what people (could) say when they realize they are in big problems. Sorry if it offended you, but that's why I used it.

Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm

1. Superbly written lyrics that penetrate the heart.
2. Melody: This is one of those songs that the melody fits the melody, as the cliche goes, like a glove. Wonderful!
3. Vocal performance is one of your best: expressive and clear.


Hi Ezekiel, thanks for your wonderful comment. I glowed with pleasure the day you wrote this!

Originally Posted By: Deej56
Hans,

I liked it a lot — your vocal slays on this one. You can hear the “La Bamba” progression, but your use of it is unique, and had you not mentioned it, I might not have picked it up--nicely done. My only nit is the shift musically into the chorus—e.g., at the 1:15 mark and later in the song—is the transition too dramatic? The song continues to sound great afterward, so wondering if there’s a slightly softer way to move into it that chorus. Dunno—but then again, that may have been your intent and it may work really well for others—so take it for what it’s worth. Outstanding work regardless—with some sweet production touches. Enjoyed it!

Hope all is good with you,
Deej


Hello Deej, thanks for listening so thoroughly and still having such a positive judgement. That 'La Bamba' chord progression was -in a way- meant to be 'hidden'. The purpose was to let a dark song sounds somewhat lighter with a bit of swing. But I admit, it happened by accident when re-composing the song. But I liked it, that's why it came in the final version of the song.
And I understand what you say about the transition from verse to chorus. I had a hard time on that one. I tried different things. But the durance of the song played a roll too. I choose the solution (with a pause and push) you are not so satisfied about. If you have another sollution, let me know. I want to learn!

Originally Posted By: Leon1

Hi Hans
Nice instrumentation and melody and a strong vocal. Sounds like the personal circumstances you've drawn on were hard going. Hope that using the memory of those feelings to create the song was cathartic (as it often can be).
Regards,
Leon


Hello Leon, a very nice comment on the song you have! But no, the memory was not cathartic, quite the opposite. When I had that hard time it helped writing about it. But singing about it after those years brought the bad things back to me. Why making the song then, one could say? It's what made me and i like the melody a lot. But it's really nice of you to think about it this way.

So thanks again everyone for your nice and good comments.
All the best,

Hans

Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130