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Hi all, this is my 4th BIAB song and if you've listened to any of my other 3 songs this one is very different. This started as an exercise on a songwriting retreat last year, the task was to write acapella with the subject being "the last time....". I had had the phrase 'a permanent reaction to a temporary phase' in my mind for some time and it seemed the perfect time to use it. Lyrically it's gone through a few re-writes but I think it's finally finished, though I still can't quite decide on the title. Lyric video at: https://www.djhsongs.co.uk/osl-lastgoodbyeTHE LAST GOODBYE / A PERMANENT REACTION As the light starts to fade To the darkest of shades Like shadows we fall into the gloom All of your friends Share memories that won't end And answers we can only assume Lost and adrift in this life you had lived I guess you weren't made for these times Chorus Such a permanent reaction to a temporary phase Not something on which you should rely For all of your pain if we could take it away Stop the last time that you said goodbye The last time we spoke I sensed there was hope When you said you would see me around And you promised to call If you felt it was all Too much and you needed to be found But lost and adrift in this life you had lived I guess you weren't made for these times Chorus Such a permanent reaction to a temporary phase Not something on which you should rely For all of your pain if we could take it away To stop the last time that you said goodbye Now that you're gone Can you see you were wrong As we gather for our final goodbye For the love that you craved From the cradle to the grave It was here for you all the time Chorus Such a permanent reaction to a temporary phase Not something on which you should rely For all of your pain if we could take it away Stop the last time that you said goodbye The last time that you said goodbye Style is _CELLOW2.STY (Dual Cello Waltz) RealTracks in style: ~1121:Bass, Acoustic, CountryWaltz Sw 085 RealTracks in style: 831:Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment Pop BouncyWaltz Sw 085 RealTracks in style: 2557:Cello, Background SlowWaltz Sw 085 RealTracks in style: 2557:Cello, Background SlowWaltz Sw 085 RealDrums [in style:NashvilleWaltzSw^6-a:HiHat , b:Sidestick, Hihat I did use some other additional guitar RealTracks as well. Thanks for listening, and thanks to BIAB for creating the wonderful music! David
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David, that's a pretty nice song. I especially like the near-middle part at around 1:35 where it goes into the refrain "For all of your pain.." The cellos blend well and the vocal sits nicely in the middle, with a nice mellow delivery. The string solos also add a nice touch.
Ed Z Soundcloud profile https://soundcloud.com/user-415064494BIAB user since 2019 iPad Mini, Garageband for iOS, BIAB for Windows 2020 UltraPAK, Xtra Styles packs 6-9, Windows 10 Lenovo PC, Kontakt Player, SpitFire LABS, SampleTank 4 CS, some Soundfonts
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Hello David ...
i really like this. it's very pretty and has a nice build in the lyric and music. Love the cellos! That was a real sweet listen. perhaps, bring the voice just a wee bit more forward in the mix ... not much, just a small amount. I liked the final verse where your vocal really stands out.
Very nice, indeed. best to you. be safe ...
Alan
PS: I think the title you have used for this post is a good fit for the song.
Last edited by Al-David; 06/18/20 06:42 PM.
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David, an intimate, gentles, contemplative song but it's frequently interrupted by aggressive sibilant sounds.
To retain the intimacy you'll need to address the essing at least. It can be minimized during tracking and there're a few ways to address it in the box.
It'd be well worth investing the time.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Gently flowing, easy on the ear. I enjoyed my listen.
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Journeyman
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I would like to hear you do this song again transposed 4 semi-tones higher.
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I liked it all the way through. And I like your title.
I do have one suggestion for improvement: You've chose some really interesting words in the Chorus: 'permanent" and "temporary". They are 3- and 4-syllable words among mostly 1- and 2-syllable words in the song, so they give a real nice little pickup. But, in your mix, I couldn't clearly hear these words completely--the end of "permanent" and those last two syllables of "temporary" got a bit muddled--and they are too nice not to gently punch out. You may not notice it because you're probably real familiar with the lyric and you know what's coming on that line, but for a first-time listener (especially if they don't have the lyric in front of them), they might miss your really excellent choice of words!!
Windows 11, Intel Core i5-8600T 2.3Ghz, 16 gig ram, BIAB 2025 MegaPak, SampleTank 4, Keystation49 Kybd, Neewer NW-800 mic
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Very pretty song!! Wonderfully emotional!! Beautiful use of the strings and very strong vocal! Well done in every way!! Take care. Greg
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Hi David,
You have made great progress with your 4th number! A very nice melody and nicely sung.
The instruments, and more the cello, the violin, doing a great job on it. I really liked it.
But I agree with some here about the sibbilance and the 'swallowing' of some words or syllables.
I can understand you had to do this to keep in line with the rhythm of the lyrics and song, but it is not a nice way to sing like that.
And something else you asked about the song title. I think this one gives an association with another type of song like 'the last farewell'. Maybe you can call it 'The last time'? Of course that is up to you, but you asked us...
Keep up the good songs,
Hans
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Hi David
A tragic subject sensitively handled. Well done.
Regards,
Leon
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Hi David,
It is a nice song!
Thanks for sharing!
Will
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Hi all and thank you for taking the time to listen and for all the great feedback, apologies for the late response! I did take on board all the advice regards the vocal, but I always knew my voice wasn't what I wanted. Fortunately I have found a fantastic singer and I think he's done a wonderful job. He has such emotion in his voice, it has that worn, torn at the edges quality - which I love. It made my wife cry which my vocal didn't do so I don't think you can ask for better than that :-) Also I did decide to call it "A Permanent Reaction (To A Temporary Phase)". The final lyric video is here: https://www.djhsongs.co.uk/osl-apermanentreactionThanks again for listening and hope you like it. I've replied to the comments below, Cheers, David David, that's a pretty nice song. I especially like the near-middle part at around 1:35 where it goes into the refrain "For all of your pain.." The cellos blend well and the vocal sits nicely in the middle, with a nice mellow delivery. The string solos also add a nice touch. Thanks Ed, it's a bit of a clumsy line but I think the meaning comes through. Hello David ...
i really like this. it's very pretty and has a nice build in the lyric and music. Love the cellos! That was a real sweet listen. perhaps, bring the voice just a wee bit more forward in the mix ... not much, just a small amount. I liked the final verse where your vocal really stands out.
Very nice, indeed. best to you. be safe ...
Alan
PS: I think the title you have used for this post is a good fit for the song. Thanks Alan, I do tend to keep my vocal down in the mix as it's just a guide, but the new one is about the right level - I hope! David, an intimate, gentles, contemplative song but it's frequently interrupted by aggressive sibilant sounds.
To retain the intimacy you'll need to address the essing at least. It can be minimized during tracking and there're a few ways to address it in the box.
It'd be well worth investing the time. Thanks Ray, I find it quite difficult to get a good vocal sound, I did spend some time trying to de-ess the vocal as suggested but I did admit defeat in the end! I might have to look at a new mic. Gently flowing, easy on the ear. I enjoyed my listen. Thanks Ghostgum I would like to hear you do this song again transposed 4 semi-tones higher. Hi Gary, I did try 4 up, just on guitar, but it was a bit too high, though 2 up was a reasonable compromise and if I were to play and sing it live I would stick with 2 up. With writing it acapella and quietly I was in my lower voice. I liked it all the way through. And I like your title.
I do have one suggestion for improvement: You've chose some really interesting words in the Chorus: 'permanent" and "temporary". They are 3- and 4-syllable words among mostly 1- and 2-syllable words in the song, so they give a real nice little pickup. But, in your mix, I couldn't clearly hear these words completely--the end of "permanent" and those last two syllables of "temporary" got a bit muddled--and they are too nice not to gently punch out. You may not notice it because you're probably real familiar with the lyric and you know what's coming on that line, but for a first-time listener (especially if they don't have the lyric in front of them), they might miss your really excellent choice of words!! It's a bit embarrassing but when I wrote it I actually wrote "tempory", and as I'd used my handwritten lyric when I did the vocal, it wasn't until I typed it up for the lyric video that I realised it was wrong. The new vocal has all the syllables :-) Very pretty song!! Wonderfully emotional!! Beautiful use of the strings and very strong vocal! Well done in every way!! Take care. Greg Thanks Greg, "Wonderfully emotional" is fantastic, thank you, hope you like the new vocal which I think gives it even more emotion! Hi David,
You have made great progress with your 4th number! A very nice melody and nicely sung.
The instruments, and more the cello, the violin, doing a great job on it. I really liked it.
But I agree with some here about the sibbilance and the 'swallowing' of some words or syllables.
I can understand you had to do this to keep in line with the rhythm of the lyrics and song, but it is not a nice way to sing like that.
And something else you asked about the song title. I think this one gives an association with another type of song like 'the last farewell'. Maybe you can call it 'The last time'? Of course that is up to you, but you asked us...
Keep up the good songs,
Hans
Hi Hans, and thank you for following my BIAB career so far! (I'm not a quick worker but I am working on a couple of new ones - hoping to have my 5th up later this week called "In Time", which won't be a guide vocal so no more sibilance and messy vocals from me.) I did um and ahh about the title but also thought The Last Time or The Last Goodbye sounds like it could be a relationship song, so in the end decided to go with the 1st line from the chorus. Hi David
A tragic subject sensitively handled. Well done.
Regards,
Leon Thanks Leon, it was a challenging write but I'm very happy with how it came out. Hi David,
It is a nice song!
Thanks for sharing!
Will Thanks Will, mind you if I didn't share it here, it would only get heard by about 10 people :-) Cheers!
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