this would best be posted in the songwriting forum as you are in fact asking for assistance in the writing of a song.

So... I'll ask about the chorus.

All this misery and pain
That you've put people through
devil you can go back to hell
And take cancer with you

As I read this.... first impression... You're talking to cancer.... I assume. Then you switch and now you're talking to the devil in the very next line and cancer is third person.... You might wish to rework that so you are talking to ONE person in the entire chorus. You might also wish to consider that those 2 lines are just the first half of the chorus. Give us more information and fill in some blanks. Expand on the idea and hit us with a powerful title line which would be the hook of the song lyrically.

Just my opinion.

Last edited by Guitarhacker; 07/03/20 04:17 AM.
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