Ray,
Listened 2 side by side. Re-mix wins! I just think it can be just a hint louder overall (it maybe that I am going deaf too.)
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Disorienting smile
I believe that experiments like this, even if they are outside of comfort zone, still very important and beneficial to creative processes. It is a quirky tune, which is distant from what I have heard by you, but surely has a place to "live". I like it because I find flow unusual and hypnotic, but not to the point of rejection. Keeps attention afloat.

P.S. An side idea on this, if one day you decide to try something else. Maybe straight talking vocals? Soft, but without emotion. Meaning, letting music do the emotion part and non-melodic lyrics just to add another dimension.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.