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floyd jane #617705 10/03/20 01:20 PM
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Had a listen to this a couple of days ago when you put it up on SoundCloud. Lovely song Floyd. Beautiful vocal and lyric. Piano was a perfect choice to frame your vocal


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Originally Posted By: rayc
A lovely song, yes a bit Jackson brown but a lot fj.
There're a few spots where the vocal & harmony are aggressive like on "the light..." usually the 1st couple of syllables of a phrase. That could be left as is or a tiny bit of level automation could temper it.
You did a fab job with a sparse arrangement and dynamic textures.
Excellent - as usual.


ray - you "keep me on my toes" regarding vocals. And I appreciate that. I often walk through a vocal reducing every instance of siblance manually - because otherwise "ray will call me on it!" (and it turns out to be worth the effort). I hear the bumps that you refer to. One more thing I'll have to keep an eye (ear) on. I've been trying different set ups for vocals lately - looking for something that I haven't found yet. Changing hardware settings and software plugins...



Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Really good, floyd, as per usual smile

Those harmonies ... magnificent! I'll need to research Helicon.

And the vocal overall sounds fabulous, nice and warm, just the right amount of presence.

Piano sounds great too, are you running the MIDI SuperTrack through EZKeys? Also really like the cello and strings.

Songwriting at it's best, loved it.


Thanks, Dave! Yes...all the piano tracks are generated using the same EZKeys module - in this case the Grand piano. I had to export the EZKeys generated parts from the stand alone as a wav file because the MIDI export changed tempos when I dropped it into Studio One (researched it online and could not find an answer to correct it). And then import the MSTs from BIAB and drop the EZKeys Grand on them.
I have the Studio Grand, too. It cuts through a big mix better than the Grand, but the Grand has a nice warmth that is better for this type vocal/piano song.
I have used the Upright for other vocal/piano songs. And in one I just finished, I used the Dream Machine and the Grand (I played those parts via a Yamaha digital piano as a controller...)

floyd jane #617849 10/05/20 05:23 AM
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Hi Floyd,

I gave this a listen a few days ago but didn't have a chance to post a reply...

May I add another title to the many I have given you on this board?
I hereby dub thee "the Troubadour of Troubled Relationships"...

"still the cries are heard
pouring shadows down into the street
sharp, accusing words
sometimes I fear I might go back
it's hard to stay away"

Wow, does this ever paint a vivid and sobering picture

floyd jane #617858 10/05/20 06:21 AM
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Sir ... my most sincere of congratulations. You have really broken the barrier of the high standard you yourself set.

I love how you almost whisper the key lyrics. "The silence helps you hurt a little more" is just the perfect lyric - I, too, love how you switch from "you", to "her" and finally to "me".

Easily the best I've heard from you. SO sensitively sung. Harmonies, etc., are perfect - that goes without saying. The sensitivity of it all is the key to it, though. You have a talent of telling a story, of articulating what we mere mortals fumble to - and often over-complicate. You just go out there and say it ... and it works.

The greatest thing, the greatest compliment I can say and give about this song is this: I can relate.

Thank you for creating this song, for having the courage to write like this when most of us would rather hide.

floyd jane #617928 10/05/20 02:56 PM
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Hi Floyd
Well written and beautifully sung. The arrangement and mix sound great to me.
Regards,
Leon

floyd jane #617943 10/05/20 05:01 PM
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Lovely song. Well written and well sung. Obviously (from the copyright date), this song was written when an artist could express more than shallow feelings about drinking beer on a Caribbean island. Great use of the band. I absolutely love the album cover art work. If that's you too than I am really blown away.


My music can be heard at: The Cracks
floyd jane #617964 10/05/20 10:41 PM
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Hello floyd jane,

Superb composition. Sweet as you wish by your voice and with a superb arrangement. I loved the violin in the background. Loneliness, evil of our cities, is very well expressed in your lyrics. Well done.

Kindly regard

alias JaniJackFlash


Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
Tano Music #618006 10/06/20 04:49 AM
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Originally Posted By: Charlie Fogle
A 1977 write. Had me wonder how close to the original version what we hear in 2020 remains? A walk with no destination on a journey that never ends... Perfect setting for loneliness and silence. Enjoyed my listen.


Originally Posted By: Tano Music
I also noticed, right off the bat, that this is work that was done a long time ago, so I was immediately interested in hearing the “early” Floyd. I especially liked that your stanzas ended with an impersonal “you” , then “she”, and finally “me”..a kind of progressively-personalizing reflection. And you had some really nice intra-line rhymes..to me, these are like little verbal Velcro hooks that keep you listening closely. As others have said, the musical setting and performance are top-notch...the only thing I would have done differently is maybe a vocal repeat of that last phrase, but that’s just personal preference...excellent!
PS..I’ll add my vote to some feedback on how this might be different from your 1977 performance of same.


Charlie and Tano - thanks for having a listen...

The song is pretty much as I wrote it in '77 with a couple tweaks to the lyric. When I decided to record this, I hadn't played it for probably 30 years and when I did play, there were 2 spots in the lyric that didn't sit right for me now. Both in the last verse.

Originally:

"pouring shadows down into the street
in accusing, painful words"

...sounded like the young developing writer that I was at the time. Too wordy and a bit over dramatic. So that I changed:

"pouring shadows down into the street
sharp, accusing words..."

(even that made me wince a little).


Originally:

"but i sit and watch the light stay on
as it waits to meet the day"

...again sounded like an "early over-poetic" writer.
So that became:

"but i sit and watch the light stay on
and try to keep out of its way"

...which I liked a bunch better. It gives more depth to the story at that point.


Of course, the original was always played with just a guitar.
Being able to add the BAND really helped to bring the song to life (to my ears)

Thanks for asking!

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Originally Posted By: vicarn
Nothing not to like here as usual Floyd.
Lovely sound and poignant lyric.

Vic


Thanks, Vic.


Originally Posted By: Deryk - PG Music
Very, very well done. I find it fascinating when users post old songs they wrote, re-imagined with Band-in-a-Box. You wrote this over 40 years ago and it still holds up - thanks for sharing smile


Deryk - nice of you to drop by. And it is nice to have folks think that a 40 year old song still works... smile

floyd jane #618221 10/07/20 11:55 AM
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"there's a river of pain flowing by my door
and half the tears are mine"

Trying to pull a favorite line out of this write is an exercise in futility -- the above is so strong.

The imagery throughout is overwhelmingly good.
Heck the first line grabbed us. "...Quarter past a late hour." So many would just write that it's late or specify an hour. Another phrase that struck us is a "bit of dawn" which is so easy to picture as a magnificent still shot.

A number of sad songs show up on our playlists but they are so rarely if ever this thought provoking.

We could go on and on. It's an amazing write.

The piano is perfecto as it nails the mood and is very complementary to your excellent vocal. As Janice says, "I always love even more hearing him sing with a piano."

You certainly know how to pick those MSTs, and RTs (that cello!) and your created tracks were very nice.

And your most tasteful artwork fit the mood well.

Masterful!

J&B


Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more.
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Our Videos are here on our website.
floyd jane #618254 10/07/20 03:17 PM
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First off, this is beautiful. Vocals, arrangement, band, production and mix. All top-notch.

Secondly, thanks for not going where most songs like this go. Hurting a little LESS never cured anybody. Hurting a little MORE is what changes hearts. POWERFUL!

Lastly, I love this.


BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
floyd jane #618282 10/08/20 12:17 AM
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Hi Floyd,

What a nice song you made all those years ago!
Very sensitive lyrics and brought by you in a marvelous way. Poignant!

It was interesting to hear how you dealt with the harmonies with the use of Helicon.
You did very well with it. The harmonies sounded naturall, and that is not always the case with Harmony-software like Helicon or Altares.
I used them as well, but focussing on Melodyne now.
But whatever, you made and performed very well on this so sad song, although you always do!

Hans


Hans Berkhout
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floyd jane #618387 10/08/20 04:00 PM
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Floyd,

This is a really gorgeous song. I love this.

Robertkc #618537 10/10/20 04:41 AM
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Originally Posted By: olemon
I love this one, Floyd. It's genuine and emotional and your telling of it draws the listener in.

The vocal performance has to be one of your best. The blend of your voice and the piano is just right, especially in those critical first few seconds, and there's a spaciousness too that's pleasing and natural that fits the setting.

From the first lyric I was like, 'Wow! This is good!'


Scott - thanks for that very generous review!


Originally Posted By: CaptainMoto
Can't say enough.
Just excellent should do it!

Well told story.
Delivered with skill and emotion.


Thanks, Captain!


Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Floyd,
Beautiful and heartfelt songwriting. The story, internal as it is, has a nice arc with the subtle changes on the chorus last lines reminding there are real changing lives involved.
A fine simple arrangement and clear strong vocals; its all very, very good!

Robert


I really appreciate that, Robert... Thanks!

floyd jane #618651 10/11/20 03:20 AM
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Unquestionably classic quality.

Check the lyrics.

Listen to the vocals and harmonies.

Examine the simplicity of the backing, which evokes enormous richness in the overall delivery.

Not a single note was missing, not a single note was left wanting. Anywhere.

Classic quality. Have to say it again.


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floyd jane #618697 10/11/20 09:20 AM
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Floyd - That's a good one. It's got your signature style and tone. Your facility with language and lyrics is always impressive. The song deftly creates an atmosphere of heartache and the descriptions in the lyrics create strong images. As always, a really solid mix and production.


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Al-David #618790 10/12/20 04:23 AM
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Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
Such an emotionally-gripping, poignant song. This one goes on my list of top Floyd songs. Beautifully arranged and performed.

You broke a heart once? Just once?


Thanks, Scott. (I think just this once smile )


Originally Posted By: Ember - PG Music
You're always such a good story teller! Thanks for taking the time to share this one with us.


Nice of you to drop by, Ember... Thanks!


Originally Posted By: Al-David
Floyd ...

I'll keep it simple, like your song.


Emotional.

A simplicity that says it all.

A bold truth.

Every single thing it needs and not the slight of what it doesn't.

Captivating, both musically and lyrically.


That pretty much says it all for me. Best to you and yours and please be safe.

Alan


Thanks for the fine review, Alan... smile

dcuny #618909 10/13/20 03:20 AM
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Originally Posted By: Deej56
Floyd,

Really pretty, really poignant. Excellent production—just the right balance and touches. Would be really curious to hear more about how this song may have evolved from its original 1977 write given the passage of time. Great stuff!

All my best,

Deej


Thanks, Deej. Check my answer to Charlie and Tano for that explanation of the couple of changes I made to the original....


Originally Posted By: dcuny
Good write, as usual - even for a 40+ year old song. wink

The change of POV through the verses was notable.

The sparse instrumentation worked for me - the additional instrumentation were subtle and didn't distract.

The only nit was the harmonies - they were perhaps a bit too close rhythmically. These days, anything too perfect calls attention to itself as sounding unnatural. laugh

I enjoyed the song, which is really the important bit.


David - I always look forward to reading your thoughts on a song and the particulars of the production. Always. Thanks.
An interesting assessment of "too tight" harmonies. I find just the opposite - although I agree they can seem "too perfect" at times, it is a hallmark of a lot of today's music. Particularly Pop and "modern" Country. Harmonies are VERY tight. Often generated (it seems) and when they are sung, software is used to make them fall right on top of each other - with a tight rhythmic follow. VocALign will do amazing things - if that is the sound you are after, of course. I'd love to try it, but at $400 for the PRO version and the need for an iLok USB key (and the fact it is not supported in Studio One until version 3) mean that I won't be going there...
smile

floyd jane #618971 10/13/20 02:41 PM
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Just...........BEAUTIFUL!!!! Tears at the heart in the best way!!! Melancholy songs are always my favorite and you wrote a doozy here!!!! Beautiful arrangement and vocal to top of a great song!! AMAZING my friend!!!

I never broke a heart.......only ever had 2 serious girlfriends......first one dumped me and broke my heart (and provided a lifetime of material for sad songs) and I married the second one! Well, maybe I broke her heart, or at least wore it out, by staying with her all these years!


Take care. Greg

Will Josef #619049 10/14/20 06:49 AM
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Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Great song that reminded me a bit of Dan Fogelberg's Same Old Lang Syne. I liked everything about this one, including the harmonies. Superb work as always.


TM - thanks! Nice to be reminded of Dan Folgelberg - had not heard his name for a while, so it sent me down memory lane (and a Youtube rabbit hole smile )...


Originally Posted By: Will Josef
The way you can tell/sing a story is amazing. 1977-memories? It makes many of us curious of what really happened. wink

Fantastic work, Floyd!

Will


Thanks for stopping by, Will. Like I said...I did break a heart... not proud of it. We'll leave the details somewhat nebulous.

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