Really liked this and enjoyed listening--I don't know how you can improve it, sounds excellent to me!
++ on that break late in the mix.
I first was going to suggest that on these lines:
A wound remained behind
A scar left for all time
..you might consider raising "all time" up a third, to avoid repetition and add interest..but after listening all the way through, I like it just the way it is.
I took away some production "lessons" by listening to your top-flight work...Thanks for working/posting!


Windows 11, Intel Core i5-8600T 2.3Ghz, 16 gig ram, BIAB 2025 MegaPak, SampleTank 4, Keystation49 Kybd, Neewer NW-800 mic