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YouTube - Todd Russell Hall Channel - Broken Land
SoundCloud - Todd Russell Hall Channel - Broken Land



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TITLE: Broken Land

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TRACK & SONG INFO

Bass - 531:Bass, Acoustic, Pop Sw 065
Piano - 1889: Piano, Solo-Accompaniment CountrySwingJohn Sw085
Drums - RealDrums=JazzBrushesSticks: a: Brushes b: Snare, Ride
Guitar - 529:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Hank Sw 065

sw8, 4/4, Fm 65 bpm

In addition to the BIAB tracks above, I added the following:

Midi drum track in Superior Drummer - Independent Wooden Drum Hoops
Midi bass track in Trilian
Midi Keys in Kontakt
Acoustic Guitar
Midi Bassoons in Kontakt
Midi Cello in Kontakt

In my mixdown, I ended up with these tracks:

Trillian Bass
Bass (from BIAB)
Guitar 1 (from BIAB ???)
Guitar 2
Kick, Snare, Ride, Cymbals, HiHat - from Superior Drummer
Bassoon
Toy Sounds
Piano (mix of BIAB & extra piano I added)
Voice

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LYRICS

Draft 5

v1
Well there’s just one way to heaven
There’s a thousand ways to hell
When you’re deep and dark and drunk on love
Your heart can hardly tell

She was a hooker of errata,
Her smile, a valentine.
My fists were hard and sober
When I laid her down the line

You see it’s fear that finds you burning
In that derelict hotel.
And she’ll be the first to tell you:

Yeah, there’s 27 bones in this broken hand . .

v2
All those aces in your card house
Won’t build a mansion to the sky.
Those tequila shots you’re shooting hot
Won’t halt her last goodbye.

I was drinking when I met her
At that old train by the sea.
She was hunkered down in a carousel
Painted ponies running free.

You know the carnival ecstatic
assumes a center of belief.
She’ll be the first to tell you:

There’s a stack of shattered dreams for each broken man

v3
The mantra of our fathers
Building kingdoms up through time
Sweet dejavu, our passions,
Make us slaves to all their lies.

Her voice was a song of burning
Like a bird that dwells in fire
Her hands they smoldered over me,
Like coals from a funeral pyre

You see the fastest way to Zion
Is through that doorway of her eyes
She turned to me and whispered soft:

There’s a thousand dying prayers in this broken land


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Draft 1 from the original text

A wh*re comes errata a jovial face
banjo’s last ramba the mansion
Ace cad the house lifting and fell comatose the herbs are verdant
The nachos sobre all sealed extra largo
The time me dejavus grainery of sublimation

Doritos and an apology of such eyes
You hunkered entire lost carousels
fruit principle of the pueblos of mansions
Why one way poor debauched the one

Time to lose arbors of the Hosia
Send her con margaritas and sabbaticals
Poor lost Rio of the lusting separation
Why comes errata green and desperate
famous entire lost graineries

Sober L patios felt the candid O
Mantra of the grandfather established a castle
And L soul quiet it jovial solo and vice
The time my deja vu juggernaut why serve

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The original text was a poem in Spanish. If you're interested, I can post it in the comments.

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I wrote this song sketch for my Translitic Songwriting Group on Facebook. As with most of my writing, it was a last-minute thing--especially the video.

This is a sketch, and I plan on re-recording and re-mixing, but I'd appreciate any input--suggested changes and/or what seems to be working/not-working in the current version.

Sorry I haven't been on the Forum much the last 6 months. We've had complications with COVID and a death in the family, so the days all sort of melt together. I do look forward to catching up though and listening and commenting on the posts others have made on the forum.

Hope everyone is keeping safe and healthy.

Todd,

Holy Smokes!! You are BLOWING ME AWAY.

"Well there’s just one way to heaven
There’s a thousand ways to hell
When you’re deep and dark and drunk on love
Your heart can hardly tell"

Killer.

"She was a hooker of errata,
Her smile, a valentine.
My fists were hard and sober
When I laid her down the line"

Killer.

...and it goes on and on.

Your productions are GORGEOUS. SUCH great "little touches". Pro level.
"...This is a sketch, and I plan on re-recording and re-mixing..."
Cannot imagine this getting much better.

And an excellent mix.

I LOVE your vocal. That little bit of Waits growl is sweet. The clarity that follows is just as sweet. would kill to be able to that...

It is one of my favorite things that have ever shown up in the Showcase. I think I'm on my 5th listen...

Damn! this is good!!!

AND... the video is EXCELLENT. I may have asked you before...what video software did you use to make that - where did the clips come from - how are you recording yourself???

The song reminds me of one of my all-time favorite records... "Breezy Stories" by Danny O'Keefe. If you don't know it (few people do), I think you might find it interesting:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mMMEr7jZdWlRwq5R6crw8mtX2L5n2ilX8

Color me IMPRESSED. And a fan. WOW.

fj

(So sorry for your loss)

I feel I'm not qualified to comment this masterpiece, so perfect in every detail. Very vivid images in the lyrics: "She was hunkered down in a carousel Painted ponies running free." and the great opening lines "Well there’s just one way to heaven There’s a thousand ways to hell". Beautiful chord progression creating exciting mood. Great singing, mix and instrumentation. And the video is amazing. I'm speechless, I rather let the music speak.

Janne

Quite a proactive write.

Love it!

The band is well placed and the vocals are perfect.
Video is just as exotic as the lyrics.

Genius!

moto

Todd, there is so much excellent stuff happening here I don't know where to start! Your vocals are SUPER!! The music is excellent (all of it)! The lyrics are well thought out and delivered in exceptional manner! Some of the best stuff presented here! Take care, T

Dang, Todd! Everything is top-notch. Love the lyrics and the vocal. The feel is perfect for the sentiment, and the production is so spot on in every detail.

Thanks so much, FJ, for your kind words. Really means a lot to me. I don't get much feedback from family and friends about my music, so it's nice to hear that someone really likes it. Thank you for that. It definitely encourages me to keep writing.

You asked about the video. I use Adobe Rush for most of my videos. I'd prefer to use Adobe Premiere, but my computer is old and pretty slow now, and the new release of Premiere often crashes it. Adobe Rush is a very simple and scaled back program, but it does allow you to do multiple layers and to adjust transparency of those layers. For this video, I purchased a hi-res gear video from Adobe Stock videos. For the videos of myself singing and playing guitar, I recorded at night with a black sheet draped on my wall and a small light on the floor pointed toward me. I put my iphone in a holder and mounted it to a chair to record. Then I imported all 3 videos into Adobe Rush.

I will definitely check out "Breezy Stories" by Danny O'Keefe. Thanks for suggesting it.

Thanks again for all your encouraging words.

Best,

Todd

So sweet of you to say, Janne. Thanks so much! I'm really happy you liked it. I had a lot of fun making this song. Thanks again. All the best, Todd

Great vocal and lyrics! The production is top notch. Spooky video is the perfect compliment. Excellent in all respects. Super job, Tom

I have no words to express how deep, rich, and original your son is! The atmosphere is hypnotic, vocals awesome, excellent mix, and the video....oh my!! Awesome job!

Wow.

I'll also point out the Tom Waits vibe here, in all the best sorts of ways.

As with all your songs I've heard, excellent writing. Simple production, super-effective. Nice, emotive vocals.

I usually don't watch videos (I like to focus on the music), but I thought is was particularly clever. It's low-budget, but it works really well. My first thought was that you'd built this all out of stock video (because it looks quite good) until I noticed that it synced too well to the song. Color me impressed!

This is really good music.

"Her voice was a song of burning
Like a bird that dwells in fire
Her hands they smoldered over me,
Like coals from a funeral pyre"

Wow...four great lines of many.

Great performances from you on everything.
Composing, arranging, performing and mixing something like
this is waaaaay above our pay grade

And, man, that vid is smokin'. There are so many videos
that fail to add to the song and quite a few that distract.
This one enhanced it. Really well done.

And another fine mix. You are on a roll!

J&B

Superb, great lyric, fabulous vocal, moody tune and all wrapped up in an excellent video.

Really top notch work all round.

Peter

Thanks so much! Very encouraging words. Thank you. Glad you liked the video too.

Cheers,
Todd

Thanks so much, Torrey. I appreciate all your kind words. Makes me happy to hear these things. I'm especially glad you appreciate the lyrics. Sometimes my lyrics are a bit cryptic or esoteric because of the process I use to craft them. Good to know they worked in this song. Thanks again! Cheers, Todd

Hey, Marty! Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to share your kind words with me. Hearing these things is very encouraging and helps me to continue to write songs. Thank you. Cheers, Todd

Hey, Tom. Ha, yeah the video is kind of spooky. One of those late-night last-minute things for my songwriting group. It was fun for sure. I appreciate all your gracious words. Thanks so much for watching and responding. Means a lot. Cheers, Todd

Very cool tune. You are doing some magic with that translitic technique + your talent.
Sounds amazing! Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Wow! Thank you. Beautiful sentiments. Thank you for that. I'm really happy you like it. I appreciate your generous words.

Cheers,
Todd

Thanks so much for your kind words. I was definitely going for a Tom Waits vibe. I was trying to match some of my other songs that seem to have that sound/vibe to them.

I'm glad you liked the video too. That was a late-night thing I did in my bedroom where I record. I put it together with Adobe Premiere Rush.

Thanks again!

Cheers,
Todd