Maybe someone should start a new thread just for pirate jokes. But until then,


A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said "Hey, man, I haven't seen you for a long time. What happened? You look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" growled the pirate. "I'm fine."

"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well, Matey," said the pirate, "we were in a battle at sea, and a cannon ball took me leg clean off. But the Doc fixed me up with this here wooden leg, and I'm fine now."

"Oh, yeah? Well, what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well, Laddie, we were in another battle, and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off, but the Doc fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great now."

"Okay," said the bartender, "but what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here, you had both eyes!"

"One day, we were at sea, and a huge flock of birds flew over the ship. As I looked up, one of them sh*t in me eye!"

"You're kidding!" said the bartender. "You lost an eye just from some bird poop?"

"Nah… it was me first day with the new hook."


Jon