DJ,

Man this is killer, classic, hooky rock. Your hooks are crazy good man. Right up there with the best. I only have a few suggestions.

I would love to see your verses and choruses laid out with V and Ch, Pre Chorus Bridge etc for analysis while listening because they are so "textbook": I would love to see them laid out, if you know what I mean.

On this great chorus, I was thinking, hmmm...what would Jagger do? And I thought, the second rhyme might be something like "I can't live without you, can't you hear me call"?"

And then absolutely, the last line being, my time to fall, my time to fall, to just put it in the bleachers, and make it even more textbook (Title is last line of the chorus.)

Well that is it, man. A real showstopper. Get on with your bad self.

David Snyder
Songwriter/Renaissance Man
Studio + Fingers

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