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OP
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Hi all! This is my first song with BIAB 2021 Pro Version. Not only that it's the first song I ever created from start to finish! Firstly thanks must go to Joanne Cooper - if it had not been for her course "First Song with Band-in-a-Box" I wouldn't have known where to start as I am a complete newbie in this area. It's called "I'm Just A Girl" - Here is the Soundcloud Link Soundcloud Link Lyrics:
I’M JUST A GIRL by Tina Jay
Verse 1
Life doesn’t come – with a user guide
Got to work it out myself
I’m just a girl – no use tryin’ to hide
No Prince Charming sittin’ on the shelf!
Chorus 1
But I want a man who holds me tight at night
I want a man who keeps me warm
I want a man who helps me fight my fight
I want a man who braves the storm
Verse 2
I know what it’s like – walking by myself
I don’t need no one to thrive
But I’m just a girl – talking to myself
Where’s the one to make me feel alive?
Instrumental – one verse length
Instrumental – one verse length
Bridge
Won’t you – hold me
Help me rising up when I drown
But don’t you – control me
I’m the one who gets up when I’m down!
Chorus 2
But I want a man who sees the queen in me
I want a man who loves me so
I want a man who’s never mean to me
Yet I want a man who tells me “No”
Chorus 1
And I want a man who holds me tight at night
I want a man who keeps me warm
I want a man who helps me fight my fight
I want a man who braves the storm
Verse 3
That’s how I am – standing tall and strong
Find my words and make them rhyme
But I’m just a girl – knowing right from wrong
Ain’t that easy, learning all the time!
Outro
I’m just a girl…1. The Real Tracks used: Style is _THRASH1.STY (Metal Chug) RealTracks in style: ~387:Bass, Electric, Metal Ev 085 RealTracks in style: ~362:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 085 RealTracks in style: 639:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm HardRockThrash Ev 085 RealTracks in style: 642:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm HardRockThrashHollow Ev 085 RealDrums [in Song:RockThrashHalfTimeEv16^1-a:Snare, Bell Ride , b:Snare, Crash Ride Once in RB I added RT2747: Synth, Rhythm Alt Hip Hop In addition I used:Compression & Reverb in RB, PG RTA to carve out frequency, voice doubling, harmonies by RB and for mastering Audacity (Normalize, Compression) and Ozone from Izotope (Rock and Soft Vocal Presets). I also used MAAT DR Offline Meter to check the dynamic range. Finally added the artwork and Meta Data with Mp3tag. What I did NOT use:MIDI tracks Vocal tuning Looking forward to your thoughts!
Last edited by Tina Jay; 01/12/21 09:06 AM.
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I heard the song, and I like it... especially if it`s your first.
In my opinion my suggestions would be that somewhere in the song it needs to have more stronger drums, and couple of different sections, like bridge and the same but stronger chorus. I am saying this for the sake of more dynamics. Also maybe the mixing of the vocals to be more upfront. But for a first song I would only say...Great.
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Excellent first "voyage" with BIAB! And thank you for including all your song notes.
I thought it was a solid work, both music and lyric.
There's a place after the 2nd line of the chorus, heading into the 3rd line where the chord doesn't change, so no delineation--that would bother me if it was my composition, but that's just personal preference.
Very imnpressed that you didn't need vocal tuning!
Good idea with the stop just before the bridge.
Looking forward to hearing more from you!
Windows 11, Intel Core i5-8600T 2.3Ghz, 16 gig ram, BIAB 2025 MegaPak, SampleTank 4, Keystation49 Kybd, Neewer NW-800 mic
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Definite 80s feel. Vocal is good and I like the harmony you added. I agree with Gemini about the production aspect, but that all comes with practice, and I am still learning.
I enjoyed your song!
Scott
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Welcome to the forum, Tina.
Lots of work has gone into your first song with the programme- you are well beyond beginner ( if I listen to my first song posted here I cringe- don`t think you`ll be doing that in listening back to this!)
The production is good -its marginal, but I`d also say the vocal could come upfront a little.
The vocal is energetic and clear; you`ve avoided the frequent rookie error of over processing. There are a couple of places where I thought a little tuning would smooth small wobbles ( just about everyone has them).
The write reminds me of different 80`s pop bands,in a good way, though you`ve arranged verses/choruses in a more original order; the only part which didn`t quite connect for me was the improv. vocal section... I thought that might have been better towards the end.
Congrats on your first BiaB song- take my feedback with a grain of salt and stick around; Joanne is an excellent mentor and there are others here!
Robert
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Apprentice
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Apprentice
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Posts: 139 |
Hey this was really nice. Excellent job on the vocals.
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This was great, it was especially nice to hear something harder edged, which we don't get enough of here on the forum IMHO. Excellent first song, looking forward to more!
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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Hey Now!
That's damn good for a first song.
I'd be embraced to put my first son up here for critique.
I like the construction & guitar sounds great.
Vocals are very good and the added backing vocals are placed nicely.
However, The vocals sound a bit boxy.
I think you need some EQ on that to make it pop a little.
Although the guitar is driving the beat nicely, I have to agree it could use a little bottom end with some added drums & maybe bass.
All in all, I think you could have a winner here with just a bit of tweaking.
moto
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Journeyman
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Hi Tina.
I like everything about this ; your vocals , the stereo mix of the guitars , your lyrics , tempo slowing end , even your picture. You have created something special here and sometimes a critique just gets in the way of enjoying a really good listening experience. Amazing first track ! Looking forward to more from you.
cheers
Gary.
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Great job! Cool song Good lyrics and vocals. Good mix. And you put the band to good use too. Way to go!
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OP
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Wow! Thanks for all the valuable feedback so far! Joanne did say in her course that the Forum was very helpful.
Some of you correctly identified me as an 80s child....lol...
Perhaps I should add that I have been singing for a long time (sort of hobby'ish with band/solo gigs over the years) - but song writing and production is a new arena and follows my plans for the new year to start releasing a few tracks and see where it leads me.
Feel free to post any further comments. Will action most of your suggestions for improvement all of which make sense.
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Tina,
A good first BIAB effort. I'm sure you'll have fun as your journey continues.
Adding in drums and bumping up the metal bass RT will give you some more Rock punch (as others have noted). You list a RealDrum track, but if it is there, it is so low it cannot be heard (for this style song, it should be as loud as your vocal). You could bring them in on the first chorus - the opening works with just guitar.
Welcome to the Showcase.
fj
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Did you remove it? It says not available anymore
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Sorry, the track cannot be found...
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Hi, Tina !:))
I would have loved to hear your song !
You sure you won´t put it back again ?
In any case,welcome to the forum,
once you get into it you´ll see
it´s kinda hard to quit ! As far
as I noticed you´d got quite good
comments on your first try so we´ll
be waiting for your return !
Have a Safe and Happy New Year 2021 !
Stay safe and take care !
Cheers
Dani
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Welcome to the forum but the track is not available on SC??
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
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Thanks Floyd Jane. I will bear your comments in mind.
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Very cool song. You have an excellent voice. Loved the backtrack. Welcome to the forum. Look forward to hearing more of your music
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