Noel and Marc - couldn't resist

Noel - I thought the original lyrics were fine, and as you put it:
Quote:

These days I tend to follow a Steve Seskin approach and look to assonance rhymes if I can't find something a little closer to the mark.


I'm not a stickler for exact rhyme and Marc knows this. But . . .
for the sake of lyrical exercise . . . how about incorporating Marc's "stone" and round the verse off like this:

Then there was Jonah who was flound'ring in the ocean
He started sinking like a stone
A big ol' fish just scooped him up and carried him to shore
God never ever leaves you on your own.
OR
If I was to invoke my irreverent sense of humour, the last line might be "God never ever lets you swim alone."
Not very profound I'm afraid - it rhymes, but I prefer the original version. It seems to me that if "near rhymes" are ignored, then constraints are put on creativity.
Good luck with the fine tuning of this one, Noel - looking forward to the tweaked version.

Ian

Ian
My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.