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#641279 02/09/21 07:27 PM
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Hi, all:

I confess, I’ve have had a fairly unmotivated start to my year musically, but I hope that I’m coming around of late. This song is one I wrote and recorded a couple of years ago—actually just before I was introduced to and started using BIAB. I had a fair bit of downtime during the holidays while on vacation, and worked on a BIAB version of the tune. It took me a while to get around to taking it back up again, but this is the result.

In the original acoustic version—largely because my options were otherwise limited—I played an acoustic lead in the break, and I had anticipated I would put one into this version. But I liked the simplicity of the violin in this production so much that I decided against adding it.

Hope you all enjoy the listen.

My best to you,

Deej

Here’s the song:

I'M ALL RIGHT NOW

Here are the lyrics:

I was lost without you—
tempest-tossed into an ocean
once so bright blue.
In the storm I was sure I would drown,
but I’m all right now.

I was caught in a bad place;
so distraught, I never thought
you’d come back one day.
My every heartbeat was a lonely sound,
but I’m all right now.

What could I do when every thought of you
just broke me up and laid me down low.
How could I see that you’d return to me,
and now that you’re here, I’m never letting you go.

I was lost without you—
at what cost, I don’t think
I ever quite knew.
All in ruins, everything, every how,
but I’m all right now.

What could I do, I’m so in love with you,
It broke me up and laid me down low.
How could I see that you’d return to me,
and now that you’re here, I’m never letting you go.

I was lost without you—
at what cost, I don’t think
I ever quite knew.
But damn that all because you’re here somehow,
so I’m all right now.
Yeah, I’m all right now.

And here’s the Band:

Bass: RealTrack 2474, Acoustic, Held
Guitar: RealTrack 2936, Acoustic, Fingerpicking, FolkWaltzFintan
Piano: RealTrack 2503, Acoustic, Held Chords
Cello: RealTrack 2557, Background Slow Waltz
Violin: RealTrack 2511, Background Pop One High
Drums: RealDrums, Tambourine 2 and 4

Last edited by Deej56; 02/09/21 07:50 PM.
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Yeah! Excellent write, well sung!

I was lost without you—
tempest-tossed into an ocean
once so bright blue.


The extension of the second line with "...into an ocean once so..." so that it's not a perfect mirror of the first line's rhythm is super-effective.

I'm not a fan of the violin solo. Simple is good, but without vibrato, I think it's just a touch too harsh. But I see why you made that choice, and my opinion is worth less than half what you paid for it. wink

I'm really liking this song. laugh


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
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dcuny #641286 02/09/21 09:17 PM
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Deej56 Offline OP
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David,

Thanks much for the listen. I think you may be right about the harshness of the violin in that solo . . . I jumped back in real quick and EQ'd it a bit more to try and soften it. I think it's better (I reposted it), but I'll give it another listen tomorrow with fresh ears. It may still need more perhaps. Good call! Thanks.

My best to you,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 02/09/21 09:18 PM.
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Again, no hyperbole, just honesty from me: this is an instant classic and you, Deej, are a master of melody. Wistful and beautiful. The violin works, to my ears ... I didn't hear the first version, mind you, but this version is fine. I actually prefer it this way than if it had vibrato, precisely because of - as you yourself say - its simplicity. Vibrato would be too much marmalade on the bread, haha ... at least that's what I personally think, haha.

I often find, with your songs, that it takes two or three listens for them to really sink in. All of these comments are based on a "first listen" - so I'm going back to listen again and see if I need to add anything else. For now: sincerest congratulations, you've done it yet again.

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Good song as usual Deej, very well written and I always enjoy hearing your vocal.

Violin solo sounds fine to me but you have me curious about the original where you mentioned you played an acoustic lead part. I didn't realize you are a guitarist, would love to hear you play someday.

Enjoyed!

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Excellent song, Deej! Very well written, and your vocal really shines on this one. The emotion really comes through.

Good job!

Steve


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Hi Deej.
I love the simplicity of the bad place and the understated, "I'm all right now".
My one small nit would be what I assume to be a synth or trumpet in the background.
It sounds kind of thin and piercing to me.

Vic

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Well written song, Deej. Your voice really brings it to a high level. The violin was fine and it fit the mood very well, but I'd probably prefer your acoustic take.


Enjoy whatever happens!
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Deej,

An excellent write. Nice internal rhymes and a great job of "aiming at" your title/catch phrase. (I'll say it again - your solo writes are by far your best - they are always well focused). Nice melody, too.

Good vocal (although I think a whole step down would have allowed it to be more "comfortable").

The simple backing is nice. The violin still seems slightly harsh - brings it "out of the mix" just a little.

A good song.

fj

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I like the simple acoustic instrumentation. I like the violin. You made a good choice to put that in. Great lyrics that are effectively delivered with a fine vocal performance.

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Deej...it's hard to beat a tender acoustic ballad and you nailed that down...great write lyrically and great marriage of lyric and melody...unrequited love is a heartbreaker but requited (is that a word?) well now that's something to sing about...your voice almost has a British texture and great expression and passion vocally...love the cello...great job...Dan


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Hi Deej,
As soon as we hear your voice, you bring us in your sweet universe.
There's something magnetic in it ! This is a very good song.
The only thing I like a little less is the solo violin.
I think it's too high to play with the voice and not enough melodic to build a solo. It's just what I feel but it doesn't mean I'm right.

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Deej,
I agree with other listeners that the lyrics have a simple strength and sing beautifully in your capable hands.
I`ve had difficulty with violin RT`s myself- the sound can be a little harsh, and I wonder of a cello wouldn`t be a better compliment here.
I enjoyed this ballad from your archive!

Robert

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Cool tune Deej. Super vocal. Loved your chord progression. Excellent feel to the song. Well done


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Janice first commented that the lyrics remind her of McCartney.

Nice and upbeat but never boring.

The song structure and the rhyme schemes are very cool and creative.

Nice band and the held chords were a nice touch.

And that always passionate vocal...yeah!

Enjoyed it.

J&B


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Very nice song Deej!! Very emotional lyric and vocal.....always love your vocals!! I think the violin works very well! Nice stuff!! Take care. Greg

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Lovely song Deej,
the violin solo is melodically effective but the tone is strident and aggressive. I'd suggest some subtractive EQ and more reverb to settle it.


Cheers
rayc
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rayc #641995 02/13/21 03:27 PM
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Deej, this is so good at so many levels. Your vocal was outstanding, clear, clean, and with emotion. Your lyrics were absolutely some of the best that I have heard. The backing tracks were very good but like others I thought the violin just didn't cut it. Some nice nylon string guitar would sound nice IMHO.

Regardless this is one excellent song.


OK, a random thought;
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?

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James, Dave, Steve, Vic, Marty, Floyd, Ezekiel, Firesong, Chris, Robert, Scott, J&B, Greg, rayc, and Mario:

Thanks all for the listen and feedback. And sorry for the delayed reply . . . I’m working on trying to put together my best 10 or 12 or so for an album, so no new music for a bit, and less time to spend perusing the board. Anyway, looks like I have mixed reactions to the absence of a solo. While I really did like that violin on its own (yeah, it was a bit harsh—I’ve mellowed it a bit), I decided to go back and insert the original solo. Unfortunately, that means me playing the lead . . . so it’s likely flawed technically . . . but hopefully give you a better idea of the original.


My best to you all,

Deej

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Dave,

Yes, I’m a guitarist—just not a very good one. All the songs I write are written on guitar . . . the problem is my limited skill set doesn’t translate well to a produced version. Thankfully I was introduced to BIAB, which allows me to give a more professional sound to my productions. Although even there I’m lacking. On occasion, I will “backfill” a song, but rarely do I work up the courage to play with the BIAB tacks. With the solo added to this sone, here’s an exception. If you’re truly interested in hearing me play—and truly interested in torturing yourself, LOL—you can go to my main SoundCloud page and scroll all the way down. I have a few songs posted pre-BIAB.

Stay safe, stay well, friend.

Deej

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