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It's always fun to hear about what goes into a new song. The writing on this one was very poetic and had rich imagery. Thanks for sharing! Thanks Ember for your very nice comment  I'm glad you find it poetic - although I had troubles with the message, at least I was able to be creative on the use of words. Janne
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Good to see you with a new song, Janne!
Good writing and I loved the changes and groove.
Nice! Thanks Dave for your positive words Janne
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Beautiful song Janne, especially the chorus section! Wonderful use of melodic textures chord changes! I know it's hard to set a song aside that you know is good while trying to work on something else. I'm glad for you that you didn't give up on it! Take care, T
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Vaer hilset Janne
I very much enjoyed listening to your song.
I would agree with your self assessment of overthinking the verse. IMO it needs less words and less melody which would provide the Ying and Yang to make that wonderful chorus really stand out. To quote Enzo Ferrari "you pay for the engine, the rest you get for free". Of course Enzo was talking cars but even such music giants as John Lennon followed this philosophy. Methinks that I am not suggesting anything that you don't know already.
Med venlig hilsen.
Gary. Thanks Gary very much for your listen and the nice comment You are right about Ying/Yang, good advice, but it is not easy to follow - I would need an editor who would decide which parts to leave out when I cannot choose between several favorite lines  Janne BTW thanks for the nice Finnish words and wonderful words about my country in your reply to my comment on your fine song Marty the Frog This time, you used language I'm not sure whether it is Norwegian or something else, but not my language
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Interesting and creative lyrics, all wrapped in a haunting melody.
Well done. Thanks VT for your nice words Janne
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Janne,
Good to hear from you!
I see what you said about choruses. They are indeed special.
Perhaps you overthinked verses a little? I mean, do not get me wrong. Personally I think your lyrics are one of your best.
Especially things like:
"escapist's serenade
shake shackles in the shade"
"everyone gets pruned
the most exposed are those who bloom."
Only once I had a tune that I could not finish for a year+. I tried many variants of lyrics and style approaches. I finally forced finished it, so I think I know in part how you feel now:)
Leave options open, perhaps one day it will come to you in different form and you decide to re-do it. Still, solid music composition and vocals. Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
Thanks Misha for your very positive feedback And I agree with you about overthinking, although without overthinking, I wouldn't have written those lines you are quoting, they are my favorite ones also. But I know they are bit lacking on the (peacefully) fading theme, at least in the second verse where I couldn't focus on it. But you are probably right, one day something else might come to me Janne
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Oh, you are so right, Janne. That chorus is terrific. You did a great job matching it to fine verses. The lyrics are quite special. So well done. Sometimes when things cook this long, they don't taste as well, but you managed to bring out the best flavor.
Thanks Marty for your kind words I'm glad you liked also the verses. Time was a good cook in this case, I hope she stews more tasty ones from the cookbook of my unfinished songs  Janne
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Terrific melody and arrangement Jann,
Well done grappling with such a sensitive topic. Thanks Ray for your nice feedback I'm glad to hear I handled the subject with care. Janne
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Janne,
A thoughtful, dark-tinged write I can relate to.Even in places where there`s some tension and complication in the verse prosody they give pause to consider- as the subject deserves!
The chorus is,as others have said, strongly melodic and memorable.
Your songs always have a sophistication that identifies the "jannesan"style; very enjoyable and interesting music.
Robert Thanks Robert, I appreciate your insightful feedback It is always very rewarding to hear that I have written something people can relate to, for some reason, it seems to be the case especially with my darker songs. Sophistication - I like that word, it is something I'm quite often reaching for in my songs. I'm glad you are able to understand my sometimes strange thoughts and intentions. Janne
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Janne, I would not change a thing. I like it as is. Nice vocal, chord progression, instrumentation, and mix.
This is really a good song. Thanks Mario for your kind comment I can now relax and not to worry about this song anymore, because you like it as it is Janne
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It's a very elaborate song.
The chord progression is great.
The melodies after the B part are especially wonderful.
I think your characteristics are very clear in this tune.
It can only be said that it is a great work you drew with tremendous efforts.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
Shigeki Adachi Thanks Shigeki Adachi for listening, enjoying and appreciating my work I'm glad that my long and troublesome work with the song has paid off and it didn't sound too unfinished in your ears. And nice to know that you found the chord progression great instead of too complex. Janne
Last edited by jannesan; 03/06/21 07:43 AM.
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You have, indeed, written a beautiful chorus and we can both relate to that “solemn moment” with regard to our loved ones’ passing. I (Janice) thought of the moody feel of Steely Dan and agree with you that the RT’s fit the lyric and melody perfectly. Bud also has had some of those lyric ideas that just couldn’t seem to find their way to a completed song.
"the fragile stem of hope
can't stand the weight of gloom
many numb the ache and
many let it break
everyone gets pruned
the most exposed are those who bloom."
This also is a standout for us. You are a poet, Janne.
We're glad you finished this!
J&B
Thanks Janice and Bud for your very pleasing review And thanks for calling me a poet, that is a really big honor for a non-native English speaker. The "solemn moment" is something I quoted from an interview, so not exactly my words, but yes something we can relate to. Thanks also for mentioning Steely Dan, at least the second time in the context of my song, an honor too Janne
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Janne,
A good write. Interesting lyric and nice melody. The chorus is really nice.
Good tracks, too. A very good sound throughout. Well mixed. Good vocal.
Enjoyed the listen.
fj
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Hi Janne
A poignant write with some highly poetic lines and yes, the chorus is lovely. Well done. I can certainly relate to the struggle to complete a lyric when inspiration just won't come. That can be very frustrating. It's good that you persevered with this one.
Regards,
Leon Thanks Leon, I appreciate your kind words Janne
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You've done an wonderful job and indeed the chorus is exceptional.
Nice production and overall sound, melodic and engaging. Superb instrumental choices especially the guitars.
Excellent.
Peter Thanks Peter for your very nice comment Glad you liked the chorus also! Thanks to BIAB for those guitars, excellent RTs, although the multi-thickening feature didn't seem to work correctly with one of them. Janne
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Janne ...
Your music just gets better and better. This is a wonderful song. And yes ... the chorus is outstanding. And your vocal is excellent. I loved the unusual chord progression.
Your mixes are always excellent but this one is simply superb. A full, rich sound that's very nice to listen to. Excellent work!!!
Take care ...
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Beautiful song Janne, especially the chorus section! Wonderful use of melodic textures chord changes! I know it's hard to set a song aside that you know is good while trying to work on something else. I'm glad for you that you didn't give up on it! Take care, T Thanks Torrey for your kind and supportive comment I'm glad also you liked the chorus. Janne
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A good write. Interesting lyric and nice melody. The chorus is really nice.
Good tracks, too. A very good sound throughout. Well mixed. Good vocal.
Enjoyed the listen.
fj Thanks Floyd, always pleasure to get kind comment from you Janne
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Your music just gets better and better. This is a wonderful song. And yes ... the chorus is outstanding. And your vocal is excellent. I loved the unusual chord progression.
Your mixes are always excellent but this one is simply superb. A full, rich sound that's very nice to listen to. Excellent work!!!
Take care ...
Alan Thanks Alan very much for you heart-warming comment I feel that I don't deserve all those big words - I didn't spend much time on my vocals and mix because I had so much to do with the lyrics and chords... but of course I'm very happy to hear that they worked well. Janne
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Hi jannesan,
really liked your well thought out and well written lyrics. The range of chords you have chosen is not easy for the vocal, but you have adapted perfectly to it. Your guitar solo is perfect. Your voice is well posed especially with the semitones and the deep value of the words sung. Well done.
kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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