Hi Jim, first Happy Birthday.

Second this has the makings of a very good song. Great lyrics and vocal!
I so agree with the others about the busy backing tracks. John has some very good suggestions in his message.

What I didn’t like was the distorted rhythm guitar and the guitar riffs between the vocals. They just sounded out of place tone wise. I would replace the rhythm guitar with a nylon string guitar IF you want to keep the rhythm guitar part – I’m not sure this song even needs one. I would replace those guitar rifts with some soft mellow jazz guitar rifts and I would not let the rifts play during the vocals. The lead guitar part was ok, however I would be inclined to have a more mellow sounding guitar, yea I know I’m an old fart, or a B3/piano lead.

Having said that I do think this has the potential to be an outstanding sound in either one of two avenues. The small band concept I described above or a more elaborate orchestral version as suggested by John, i.e. strings and such.

Good work here. Good luck on polishing it up.


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