Lovely work, Noel. Beautifully constructed song that works exactly as intended. The band sounds great and I'm a big fan of your vocals; always so clear in the mix. Really well done. Regards, Leon
Terrific work Noel, changing keys, changing gears work well in this song. I frequently change between verse n chorus but not so often minor n major. Good band and a terrific treatment of the bass. Wonderful song - wonderful.
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Great sound. The relative minor/major change works a charm. Let’s disappear our fears And build us new tomorrows like pioneers is my favorite line in a long list of candidates. The band is cool and just that little extra bit quirky...really kept the ears entertained. I like this a lot.
Good production. The BAND works well. Nice vocals. A solid mix.
Good write. One of your best, I think. There is a "freedom" in the lyric...natural, comfortable. That is also reflected in your vocal...
In fact, I think it is one of your best in all regards. Very much enjoyed.
fj
Hi floyd,
It's always great to see you!
I really appreciate that you had some time to spare to have a listen. You've got me thinking. I wonder what that "freedom" is? It's probably a result of throwing caution to the wind. I used to worry a lot about my vocals: nowadays, not so so much. I've also got a lot more experience now in both lyrics and singing. Maybe that's it. Whatever it is, though, I'm glad it's there Thank you for saying that.
Thanks for taking so much time to pass on your thoughts. I appreciate it. If you don't mind, it's probably easiest if I address your comments one at a time...
Originally Posted By: dcuny
Melodically, this is different than other things what you've done, in that it's a bit more rhythmically driven.
This is probably because I created the backing before even considering melody and lyrics. In this sense, the creation of this song was like the "top line writing" that floyd has mentioned a couple of times. Normally when I write, lyrics, melody and harmony all come together at the same time (a bit of "this," then a bit of "that" and then that inspires a bit more of "this," etc.).
Originally Posted By: dcuny
The minor/major works seamlessly. As you said, it gives a nice lift to the song.
Thanks, I was hoping that it was smooth
Originally Posted By: dcuny
I didn't hear a change in feel at the transition at 3:35. There's a shift in rhythm at "So" that feels a bit like a lurch like might be handled better - a drum fill or something.
I'm glad you pointed this out. At one point in time, I clearly remember thinking similar thoughts and then following that up with the thought that I need to attend to it. I never did. I guess my brain just got used to listening to the song and stopped analysing it.
Originally Posted By: dcuny
Good and interesting lyrics, although the some language felt a bit dated, sort of of early 70's. (I say this with some irony, as I'm certainly not hip to the language them youngsters use these days).
I hear what you say, but there are too many generation gaps between me and modern language. I'd only embarrass myself if I tried to emulate today's pop world.
I'm never fussed about how my language sounds. I write entirely around note length and syllable length while trying to get my meaning across: that is, short notes need short syllables and long notes can have either short or long syllables. For example. If I said, "Sit on the floor," the first three syllables are short so can have quick'ish notes. "Floor," however, is a long sounding syllable so it needs a longer-timed note.
Originally Posted By: dcuny
I know what you were going for at the end, but it didn't work for me - it felt like it was running out of steam, especially the last cymbal hit. I'm sure that others will - rightfully - disagree.
Again, I totally understand what you are saying. I'm also in two minds about the end. Because I couldn't think of anything better, I left it as it is. If something better comes to mind sometime, I'll definitely change it.
Thanks for taking so much time. I'm honestly thankful because I sincerely value thoughts on how others hear my work.
Really touching lyrics, confusion in the first verse and optimism in the second verse described very beautifully. The minor key in the verses works very well, gives sort of a dreamy feeling (what just happened...what should happen next). Nice chord to rise to the catchy chorus. Great vocals also this time. The band and the mix are top quality, the acoustic bass is especially nice and I like how the organ is introduced. Nice slowdown ending ("slow me down").
Janne
Hey Janne!
I'm glad you had a chance to visit. Thanks heaps for all your thoughts.
Your comment, "The minor key in the verses works very well, gives sort of a dreamy feeling (what just happened...what should happen next)", really made me think. It never occurred to me at all before but I wouldn't be surprised if this is why the lyrics became what they did. I spent a long time on these words and I found it difficult to get the right meanings. I know that my lyric writing is affected by the ambience of the music I put them to. On reflection, I think that you've hit the nail on its head.
Thank you for taking the time. I honestly appreciate it.
Noel, "I don't often write in minor keys." I think you should write more in minor (->major) Probably one of the best tunes I have heard by you to my taste. Excellent lyrics, super vocal twists. Overall a tasteful composition and mix. Good listen. Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
Hi Misha,
It's good to see you. Thank you for dropping in. I'm still smiling from your comments. I'll definitely try and use minor keys more often.
For some reason, as I started replying to you, I was reminded of Ivan Rebroff. I need to listen to some Russian folk songs to get the sound of minor keys into my head, I think.
A lot of people don't know that The Seekers "Carnival Is Over" was actually based on the Russian folk song "Stenka Razin." I hope you don't mind my sharing these two clips with you. (Love the bass balalaika!)
HERE'S THE ORIGINAL RUSSIAN SONG...
HERE IS WHAT IT BECAME AFTER TOM SPRINGFIELD CHANGED IT...
Really good song, Noel. Very well developed and produced. Intriguing title, the lyrics fully delivered, and the vocal was pot on. You instrument choice and arrangement worked very well.
Enjoy whatever happens! marty
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51 SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub Band in a Box, Reaper, Cakewalk, Ozone 12, EZDrummer
You carried out your minor/major experiment in a memorable way! First of all, you got some great bluesy, funky mileage out of your well-chosen Real Tracks. To my ears, it seemed to cause you to deliver your vocal performance with just a little bit of an after-the-beat swagger that made you sound rather soulful. Also, the way you slid upward in pitch on phrases such as "open your mi-i-i-nd" and "reach for the sta-a-a-rs" was a surprisingly expressive vocal effect that added a taste of R & B to the production. Finally, your lyrics tell an interesting and truthful story about the way the nature of our relationships can change. This is quite a distinctive song.
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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And having heard this I hope you explore minor keys more often!
Thank you for saying that.
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