Hi Don

My deepest sympathy on your sad loss.

Folks will say they know how you feel but no one but you know that, we are all different. But I do have a fair idea having been in the same position 17 years ago when I lost my wife to the big C. I went thrashing around looking for someone to blame for some while.
I don’t push religion on folks but I found the thoughts in this poem seemed to help a bit.

Footprints in the sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
________________________________________
Mary Stevenson, 1936

I also found that once I could listen to music with out falling apart gradually helped but that was at least 9 months down the line. 17 years on I can smile about the good times.
My thoughts are with you,
Mike

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