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Hello Folks, It's been YONKS since I posted one of my own ditties. Playing bass with Spirit Level kept me busy and moving to 100km to another state certainly kept me busy. Truth be told I posted an early version of this song around October of last year. I spent the next five months waiting for a chap who wanted to do the solo but that didn't eventuate. Another chap, Bob Harris, offered to fill in at late notice so is on this version. I need your ears for this one. There's a little guitar figure I use every few bars of the verse that I'm unsure of. Is it a useful addition or an atonal distraction? Vocals are me, sadly, and I've tried to emphasize the minor chord sections by adding a raised seventh to one of the bvox... does that work? Finally, any other mix/production/tracking suggestions would be appreciated and attempted. BIAB drums & organ in this one...Bob Harris does the guitar solo and I'm to blame for the rest. In There Somewhere https://soundcloud.com/rayc/amajune4Here's an update with bvox raised as suggested by FJ... In There Somewhere tweak Another update based on suggestions to have the guitar figure cut through a little better. I've also experimented with the "melody" a bit... In There Somewhere Iteration THREE Lyrics: IN THERE SOMEWHERE Reason with the logic Rhyming riddles for a song But the words don’t come together Something definitely went wrong The smiling clown went away for good To the circus, city, sewer He was running out of lives & his mask was so much truer He was running out of life & the options are fewer There is no rhyme or reason For feeling like you do No, no definite rhyme or reason But the focus is on you. So come my bleeding jester Entertain the gawking crowd No definite rhyme or reason Just the genes you’ve been endowed The man was in there somewhere Beneath his rhyme there was no reason His façade would someday crumble His humour his treason & they laughed at your insanity No prying eyes to look inside But their laughter was inanely aimed At the mask in which you hide But their laughter was inane again, As they line up to take a side There is no rhyme or reason For feeling like you do No, no definite rhyme or reason But the focus is on you. So come my bleeding jester Entertain the gawking crowd No definite rhyme or reason Just the voices getting loud There is no rhyme or reason For feeling like you do No, no definite rhyme or reason But the focus is on you. So come my bleeding jester Entertain the gawking crowd No definite rhyme or reason Just the voices getting loud.
Last edited by rayc; 06/06/21 01:01 AM.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Hi Ray,
So come my bleeding jester
Entertain the gawking crowd
I do like that line !
Ray, that's a good rocker with great lyrics. I think that even without knowing who had written that song I would have guessed that it was you from the chord progressions they're typical for you (as far as IÄm concerned).
I tried to identify that li'l 'guitar figure' you mentioned, but I simply couldn't hear it - must be covered by my tinnitus, I guess.
An enjoyable listen.
Take care,
Stefan
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I think I heard the guitar figure and I liked it. Your vocals are good, maybe could be a tad louder. Guitar solo was very good though brief. Altogether, an enjoyable track. Lyrics are signature yours, edgy stuff. Good work!
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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Yes, Rayc. My vote is to keep the guitar bit. In some way it anchors the song with familiarity, if that makes sense. I had a harder time picking out the harmony 7th. Yes, there it goes (on my 2nd spin); it, too is a keeper. Keep in mind, man, I have a hard time critiquing your work because I've learned so much from you. Sadly, I really like your vocal. hehe And, man, you guys in Spirit Level are really cooking up some good sounds.
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ray, Several listens - and everything seems to work to my ears (although they do get older every day..  ) Good write. Excellent punkish-rock sound - including the vocals!! Solo works nicely. I thought there could have been more BGVs - what's there is good...more! Well done. fj
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Hi Rayc,
Always a search in the continuation of original musical chords. Your lyrics and your voice are pleasant. I enjoyed the guitar solo which could have been introduced several times. Well done.
Kindly regard
Derochette alias JaniJackFlash
Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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Ray, Powerful stuff! Very atypical progression & structure. Cool set of lyrics! Tried to tune ears, "looking" for the guitar you mentioned. I do not hear it, or if I do, it is not annoying and at the right place(s) Thank you for sharing. Misha. P.S. FJ motioned BGV... I think he made a very good point.
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Ray
First off good song.
I heard the little riff - I'd be inclined to bump it up slightly in the mix - it sounded good to me.
I'd defer to floyd on harmonies.
The solo was good as was the progression.
Peter
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Hi Ray,
I think that even without knowing who had written that song I would have guessed that it was you from the chord progressions they're typical for you (as far as IÄm concerned).
Stefan Thanks Stefan, I hope typical doesn't become predictable too soon.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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I think I heard the guitar figure and I liked it. Your vocals are good, maybe could be a tad louder. Guitar solo was very good though brief. Altogether, an enjoyable track. Lyrics are signature yours, edgy stuff. Good work! Thanks TuneMonger, I've upped the vocals a little in the update in the OP.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Yes, Rayc. My vote is to keep the guitar bit. In some way it anchors the song with familiarity, if that makes sense. I had a harder time picking out the harmony 7th. Yes, there it goes (on my 2nd spin); it, too is a keeper. Keep in mind, man, I have a hard time critiquing your work because I've learned so much from you. Sadly, I really like your vocal. hehe And, man, you guys in Spirit Level are really cooking up some good sounds. Thanks BabuMusic, I was toying around with just adding the flat 3rd when my wife suggested the raised 7th so I gave it a burl. Subtle but if it increases the minorness then I'm happy. The guitar figure was roundly canned by a listener elsewhere - hence my desire to know if there was a consensus. Spirit Level has a new one coming early next week...keep an eye out for a post from ScottC.
Last edited by rayc; 06/05/21 12:27 AM.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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ray,
I thought there could have been more BGVs - what's there is good...more!
fj Thanks you FJ, That's the sort of thing I was hoping to read. I've updated with a new link and more bvox.
Cheers
rayc
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Hi Rayc,
I enjoyed the guitar solo which could have been introduced several times. Well done.
Derochette alias JaniJackFlash Interestingly & consistent with your comment Bob harris envisioned the solo also playing over the intro...I tried it that way for a week but my brain kept expecting the 2nd run through to veer into something new so I ditched the 1st iteration. Thanks for your kind words.
Cheers
rayc
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Ray, Powerful stuff! Very atypical progression & structure. Cool set of lyrics! Tried to tune ears, "looking" for the guitar you mentioned. I do not hear it, or if I do, it is not annoying and at the right place(s) Thank you for sharing. Misha. P.S. FJ motioned BGV... I think he made a very good point. Hello Misha, Atypical is home for the untutored typically. That'd be me. The "figure" is just a scale/octave run near the end of each line in the verse. Nothing grand but hpefully it is as you suggest. Thanks.
Cheers
rayc
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Ray
First off good song.
I heard the little riff - I'd be inclined to bump it up slightly in the mix - it sounded good to me.
I'd defer to floyd on harmonies.
The solo was good as was the progression.
Peter Thanks Peter, I'll EQ the guitar part a little so it "cuts through" a little better.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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My 2 cents:
Song structure works well.
I'd like to hear the guitar figure pop a bit more.
I think the vocals are loud enough but, could be a bit more forward.
Maybe the vocals are masked by the other instruments???, try some gentle EQ ducking on the instruments in the mid range where the vocal sits.
Last edited by CaptainMoto; 06/05/21 05:50 AM.
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This is a really cool tune. I did not make out the riff you mention but to my hearing I think that is a good thing as I felt all the background instruments sounded really tight and I was able to focus on your vocal and lyrics. So not distracting very complimentary to the song. Guitar solo was really good too.
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Well crafted song. I too like the jester lines. Good use of the band. Good one.
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Hi Ray,
I think that even without knowing who had written that song I would have guessed that it was you from the chord progressions they're typical for you (as far as I'm concerned).
Stefan Thanks Stefan, I hope typical doesn't become predictable too soon. Oh no, Ray, that's not what I meant  This wasn't the first time that when I listened to one of your songs I noticed chord progressions that made me think ' Where in the world is he now going and how will he ever be able to get back to where he started?' But, of course, you always managed that perfectly. And I should addd that I like it ! Take care, Stefan
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Nice changes in this and I think your vocal works well. I hear that little guitar part you mentioned, works for me.
I also like that instrumental part, could have introduced that earlier I think. But it's a cool part he came up with, works well over those changes.
Good song!
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