'rayc'...
I always take a song 'as is', no matter how it's composed or arranged, revised, or whatever. The music, is the music.
I think you captured the minor key feel you sought with a gripping intensity. Your vocal and the places in the song where you harmonized it were sharply-felt, which added some 'teeth' to the whirpool of your shaded lyrics.
Concentrated, yet crackling musical energy radiates from this one, for sure!