PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase MASTERED Locked & Loaded PBExt.

Hello Folks,
SoundCloud link: MASTERED
I started the music for this one about a week ago. It's "fairly" well sorted in terms of arrangement but not mix, tone etc.
It needed a lyric & melody but I had nothing until I woke up yesterday with a line "He's locked & loaded as she walks to the door."
I ignored it for a while but it nagged so I sat and wrote it into a word prog then the rest dribbled out.
Not a happy narrative.
I decided to try an on the run no thinking melody so did two passes in the DAW with the new lyric.
Sloppy and ugly as expected.
I tidied it a little today but it's a vocal that needs to be replaced obviously.
Any & all suggestions about the lyric, melody, arrangement, playing etc are MOST welcome and will be, at the very least, tried.
BIAB provided the RealDrums and, via Janice & Bud, the Super MIDI farfisa style organ.
the rest is me on Harley Benton 12 string electric, Vantage bass, Squire Mustang, an ACtone pedal, a spring Reverb pedal and a Marshall amp.
UPPER GARAGE....working title (file removed)

Here's a new mix. I've tried all suggestions...including the harmony guitar which was fun to do but didn't work...more a lack of skill on my part...I even tried a pitched clone and that, as you'd expect, wasn't too lovely. I use some aggression, used drive, overdrive and distortion on the vocals but they all seem to grab hold of the sibilant zone and drove me NUTZ BUT it is in this mix. I've upped the PSP Vintage Warmer level for some grit but you'll hear what transpired.
New verse vocal (double tracked) and some levelling via automation rather than a VST.


I've removed the dirt/grit - it was causing all sorts of problems - not least of all IN my head. I've had another crack at the harmony lead part...only the 2nd half though. I removed almost all the compression plugins used on the previous mix and used gentler, stacked ones on this...had to do some more de-essing as a result. Vocals are much more up front now.
Latest mix no grit (file removed)

Lyrics...
V1
He's locked and loaded as she heads for the door
This battle won at the start of his War
Just shut your mouth or there'll be more
C1
It wasn't long till it came crashing down
The face transformed: the anger the frown
There's no one she knows in this town
There's no escape no where to run
There's nothing
V2
Bags packed and ready because she wants no more
And there's no protection within the law
Can't recall what she wanted him for
C2
It wasn't long till it came crashing down
Lover transformed: to a dangerous clown
He was her king but he battered his crown
There's no escape no where to run
There's nothing
SOLO
C3
It wasn't long till it came crashing down
She's going under and feels like she'll drown
The marks don't fade: they're the talk of the town
There's no escape no where to run
There's nothing
V3
He's all excuses for the heart that he tore
Just one more chance it's like it was before
A bed of roses till there's a thorn
C4
It wasn't long till it came crashing down
The face transformed: the anger the frown
He was her king but he battered his crown
There's no escape no where to run
There's nothing
C5
It wasn't long till it came crashing down
It all imploded: it came crashing down
It wasn't long till it came crashing down
There's no escape no where to run
There's nothing

ray,

There's a lot to like here.

A good write. Interesting images/phrases throughout. A very interesting melody, too!

The opening is really nice. A nice combination of guitars, bass and drums. Very Catchy!!
Those guitars work throughout.

I like the soloing! A great fit.

The vocals seem too "sweet". The lyric (and at times, the melody) has a real edge to it. The vocal tone doesn't match that. I would expect a "rougher", "meaner", more "angry" kind of vocal (but I may be missing the point all together. I can do that....)

Cool stuff.

fj

Cool song Ray. Lots of potential

Ray,
Very cool stuff. A bit more than just a sketch
I like it as a whole. Strong lyrics/ phrasing. I read it in the morning, but was guessing what it will sound like within context.
My take.... polish mix, bring out vocals a little and call it done. Your vocals are GOOD! Excellent composition and arrangement too. I really see no point of re-inventing it, at least this version. Again, I think it only needs a mix and maybe optional couple of vocal re-takes. Your voice does work well on it! Good one. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Hi Ray,

This is a good rocker.

I agree with above comments - I would bring up volume of the vocals a touch so we can hear the lyrics.

Well done.

Best Regards
Nigel

My 2 cents:
The vocals need to be more gritty and aggressive.
Current vocals are a bit too mild mannered for the song and the subject.
I'd also bring the vocals more forward and cut the effect a bit, just a little washy.

Think more Tom Watts

moto

I agree. Either redo the vocals or take off all of the effects then start with a little distortion. Yes a little distortion on a vocal may do wonders for adding grit.

I really liked the backing tracks. Excellent chops!

Thanks for responding Floyd,
It's an unsubtle and messy narrative but it is, almost 100% as it arrived. I did shorten the last line of each chorus as it was crowded and clipped.
The intro was simple to do as it was just the chords & no thinking required.
The solo, really, is my 1st attempt at starting off by just playing the scale...and it shows as the 1st half is just the bottom strings playing at being a bass part. After that, as you can hear, I played the chord tones on the E, B & G strings and that's about all. I did add some tube screamer to it but it went from being simplistic to being simplistic and messy.
Ha, my vocal as sweet...I know what you mean though. It is the best I could manage given I was singing it for the 2nd time and I couldn't get a "voice" other that my own that early on.
Yes, I'd expect a good, angry woman's voice in this. Instead I offer a poor sympathetic one. I'll work on things though...thanks.

Thanks Scott, much appreciated.

Thank you Misha,
I'll give it a go based on your say so.

Thanks Nigel,
I would've brought the vocals forward had it been a keeper but I saw/see it as a place holder.
It doesn't quite rock the way I imagined...the narrative and melody pull it back towards something that may be power pop IF there was a sparkling vocalist.

Cpt Moto,
I agree with you - either gritty or a sparkling clean one...either would do.
The only Tom Waits I truly enjoy is the stuff on Heart Attack & Vine.
As a non drinker non smoker I'll have to search for the Waits Plugin.
There's little modulation/spacial effect - just sloppy doubling really. I'll try to sort that if I don't find a singer in the meantime.

Mario,
I'm no stranger to using some saturation and drive on a vocal...and there's a little free VST compressor ModernDeathcore, that adds some very cool aggressive colour, (no, not Death metal despite the name), it can be VERY cool when appropriately placed.
I'll investigate. Thanks.

Oh, man, I first heard this yesterday, but got interrupted before commenting. At first I wrung my hands together like an evil scientist, thinking Cool, a chance to collaborate with Ray. Then --well as mentioned by others, this song is essentially done. Just do everything prescribed and this is a winner. Really, man, your vocal sounds perfect --just bring it out and shape it. The melody is somewhat monotonous, but it's exactly what the song requires, and becomes quite catchy. That 12-string sounds really good throughout. Can't wait to hear the remix.

Rayc.
i really liked that clean gtr starting at 2m12secs.

and the gtr's each side of the stereo image.

nice ending.

best
om

ps getting rid of fizzies..per one of your posts.

Ray.
heres what i do with those genned fizzy rt's...a tricky mate.
sometimes works sometimes dont.
1. i load reaps reafir on the trak.
2. go deep zooming into the fizz (HA HA SONG NAME>> INTO THE FIZZ lol i'm in a silly mood today.)
3. get a noise print of the fizz.
4. in reaps apply the noise print fizz to whole trak NOT HEAVY JUST GENTLE REDUCTION.
5. delete reafir, then load in a gtr amp plug in and re-amp eg commercial paid plug in or one of reaps
free gtr plug ins eg bassman or free freeamp gtr plug in. etc etc.
give it a bash sometime.

best
om

Thanks Mr Babu,
If you want to collab just yell. I have so few skills I need to collaborate to finish things well. Besides collaborations can be ace fun as well as productive.
You're, as ever, very kind.

I actually have ReaFir running on all non BIAB tracks to deal with the noise problem I have at my location:a BIG peak at about 17kHz and a hum at 50Hz & below. It's a decent filter but, like all, leaves artefacts.
I don't use amp sims/plugs...I do, occasionally, use an amp in a box pedal and when I do I use cab impulses to deal with some of the inherent issues.
If there's fizz in this track I'll go back and tweak.
Thanks for the pointers and the kind words.

Ray

I like the verse, guitars are good as is the bass & vocal.

I don't love the chorus drum - seems a bit busy and overpowering.

The solo which is good, might sound interesting with a harmony guitar?

Good work.

Peter

Thanks peter,
I tried the harmony part but I failed to pull it off..nice idea though.
Yes, the drums are almost chaotic in the chorus - it was there, initially, becasue I wanted something garagey...eventually I decided to keep it as it offered the aggression and confusion of the chorus narrative...sophistry I know.

Peter,
I've had another crack at the harmony part in the 2nd half of the solo and have attempted to tame the drums i the choruses a little more.