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eddie1261
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The guy who mixed my CD had a girl come in and record a CD. He rounded up players and they came up with tracks for 10 cover songs she wanted to do. I was there doing BGV for my CD when she came to pick up her CDs. They came to his house because he ordered them on his CD Baby account. She excitedly opened one and he popped it into the CD drive on his computer. She got just into the 1st chorus of the first song, and the look on her face matched the urgency in her voice as she screamed "Oh my god. I SUCK!!!" She picked up her CDs, ran out his door, and on the way to her car threw them into his garbage can.
We had to stop recording for the night because we couldn't stop laughing. And the guy told me "She was SO serious while we were recording. We did vocal take after vocal take. She left me with at least 4 tracks of each vocal line and that was the best I could splice together." He also said that he tried auto tune it but "Auto tune isn't auto timbre."
I remember a girl at a karaoke night long ago who was just awful. When she finished her 2nd song I casually asked if she had been singing long. Her reply was "No. I have only done this a few times because a lot of my friends tell me I'm a good singer." I smiled, gave her a little pat on the right arm and and a little wink as I said "Yeah? Well, you probably want to hang onto those friends." And walked out.
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When we had to audition bass players for my wedding band (it's always the bass player  ) I would say "Sounds good. We have a number of auditions to go so if we select you we will give you a call." If they called back we would say "Sorry, we found someone who was a better fit". FYI - In my last band's 17+ years we had the same ballad singer rhythm guitarist, a keyboard and lead guitarist (both singers). We went through 4 drummers and I lost count on the number of bass players.
I think my wife has started to show the first signs of dementia.
She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me!
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So folks that “can’t sing” responded? Bad singers, not so good singers - yeah … but it’s hard to imagine somebody having such a total lack of self awareness sans years of feedback. Our weird music world.
Bud Yeah, they told Bobby Zimmerman that once, and I guess he just couldn't get it through his thick skull.
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You don't have to tell one of them; I read the thread  Me too. I thought we were friends Billy. Absolutely heart breaking...
I work here
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glad someone got a giggle out of it finally
I do not work here, but the benefits are still awesome
Make your sound your own!
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Well, perhaps I am overly sensitive. I really do not like to hurt people's feelings. I want to be kind to everyone. Good thing all the pretty girls were good singers. I mean, how would it look making a pretty girl cry. What kind of heartless monster would do that?...lol
I "will" make certain exceptions for Simon, David, Rharv, and oh that Eddie guy...laughing out loud! There are a couple more but it is so easy to make them cry it is better not to name them...LOL
Cheers,
Billy
Billy
Billy
“Amazing! I’ll be working with Jaco Pastorius, Charlie Parker, Art Tatum, and Buddy Rich, and you’re telling me it’s not that great of a gig?
“Well…” Saint Peter, hesitated, “God’s got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing…”
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On a more serious note, this is one of the more interesting responses I have from San Francisco Ca. A very polite email she sent me. She does some unusual music. https://www.arulamusic.com/ Billy
Last edited by Planobilly; 11/02/21 12:55 PM.
“Amazing! I’ll be working with Jaco Pastorius, Charlie Parker, Art Tatum, and Buddy Rich, and you’re telling me it’s not that great of a gig?
“Well…” Saint Peter, hesitated, “God’s got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing…”
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At the risk of sounding boastful, I jammed countless times with Zimmerman in HS (I'm 2 months older) and we were playing a kegger house party in his hometown, Hibbing, Minnesota. Unknown to either of us, a young lady, the personal secretary for a major talent agent, Jay Loury (sp?) was home for the weekend. A few days later, I received an invitation to appear for an audition. Bob didn't!
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Many, many years ago now we had an annoying chap who week in week out wanted to sing. He was a ring leader of the bikie gang at our show. We had to let him up.
What we did was put on a long delay with no immediate vocal going through. This poor chap sang a few words nothing - then a voice way behind the music. He put up with it for almost one verse looked at us and said “I don’t know how you do it”. He walked off stage and never came back.
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eddie1261
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I once had a guy come up to our stage and asked to play drums. He said "I used to be Michael Brecker's drummer." I looked at him and smiled and said "Then you must REALLY suck or Brecker wouldn't have let you get away."
There was a band in Cleveland years ago called The Outsiders. They had a local hit called Time Won't Let Me. Fronted by Sonny Geraci who had his 15 minutes with "Precious And Few" in Climax. One night a guitar player came up and asked to sit in, telling me he played the solo on Time Won't Let Me. I said "So you are Al?" And he said no and told me some other name. I said "That's odd. If you played that solo, your name would be Al Austin. You would also be dead because Al Austin died in a car crash in 1968 when his car hit a bridge as he was racing to Geneva On The Lake to his gig. Now get away from my stage."
If I had a buck for everybody who told me they played that solo. I mean, I was at Al's funeral!!
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In years past when I lived in LA, I never advertised for any musician. We had a hundred clubs to go to and check out people. Plus, if you are in the circuit you hear about people looking for work.
For studio sessions, we always knew who we were going to use. The exception was if they were not available.
We use to rehearse on a private for-hire stage that had a sound man. That cost a good bit so there was little time to be messing around with someone stopping by.
One of our vocalists invited someone over that I did not know. She asks to sing. Well...OK, what song, what key?
What a train wreck. She did not really know the name of the song but it goes like this in the key of E demolished. Lewis could follow her voice but I got off stage and ask the soundman to tell everyone they needed to close to prepare for another band.
Saved by the bell...lol It really embarrassed our vocalist who brought her there.
A few of our well-known friends would set in from time to time but only in certain venues.
Never let someone on stage you don't know, even in a rehearsal.
I have a really good feeling about the first girl called Jenn. I just sort of suspect we are going to get to work together and be friends on top of that.
Who knows? We will see.
Billy
“Amazing! I’ll be working with Jaco Pastorius, Charlie Parker, Art Tatum, and Buddy Rich, and you’re telling me it’s not that great of a gig?
“Well…” Saint Peter, hesitated, “God’s got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing…”
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E demolished - I love that one!
I agree, Billy, it's best to be kind to everyone. Even if they suck, it's not nice to hurt their feelings.
Of course, when talking from pro to pro and asking for advice, the advice should be truthful. But even then, there are ways to tell people what they are doing wrong without insulting them. Make the criticism constructive and gentle.
On stage, Mrs. Notes and I don't let anyone sit-in. We use backing tracks that I make myself. They are in our key, and our arrangement, and even if the singer is accomplished, it would be unfair to him/her as he/she would have a hard time following the arrangement and might not be able to sing it in our key.
I explain that we use custom pre-recorded tracks, and if they really want to sit in, we would need to schedule a rehearsal first. I explain that not knowing our arrangement and our key would probably make them look bad in front of the crowd.
That usually does that trick with the person who wants to sit in. The "friend of a person who wants to sit in" is more difficult to discourage.
I like jam sessions, and that's that place to sit in.
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eddie1261
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Hmmm... be nice.... I have to try that.
Long ago I was playing sax in a 3 piece horn section and some guy wandered up to the leader and asked if he could sing with the band. He told us that earlier that night he had opened for a big time player at a venue across town. The leader bought the story and let him sing. He started asking us about all these current (this was the late 80s) country songs. I said "Dude, we are a 60s and 70s oldies band. Nobody up here knows ANY country music." He then decided that he would sing "When We Make Love" a capella. Oy.
The bass player was a guy I had known since childhood. We called him Hoss because looked exactly like Dan Blocker from Bonanza. (And in fact played tackle on his high school team, so he WAS a blocker!) This guy opened his mouth to sing and it was so bad the room went silent because they thought it was a comedy bit. I looked at Hoss and he had his back to the crowd biting into the towel he always had on stage, laughing uncontrollably. When the guy finished with his assault on vocal music, the leader gave him a big "How about a hand for Rocky?"
Dead silence.
We took a break and went into the dressing room and I thought we were going to have to call EMS to come and revive Hoss because he just exploded into laughter and couldn't catch his breath. And I kept on him the whole time! I said "That guy is probably on the phone right now with his mammy back in Alabama saying 'You shoulda seen it maw! There wunt a dry eye in the house!' " Hoss kept screaming at me "Stop!! Stop!!" We had to take and extra 10 minutes on break so everybody could get their composure back before we could play again. And between songs I would go up to my mic and bark out "When... we make LUUUUUUV...." This guy redefined bad. He hit every key in the space of a 3 minute song!
From that day forward, NOBODY gets on my stage. There are too many Rockys out there.
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"How about a hand for Rocky?"
Dead silence.
Yep, that says it all, doesn't it?
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"Awesome blues by awesome voice!!!!! Love that"
A quoit from an email I got from someone in China.
So you see, there is room for truly bad singers in this world...lol
Thanks, BoB for paving the way for us less than angelic voices...lol
Billy
“Amazing! I’ll be working with Jaco Pastorius, Charlie Parker, Art Tatum, and Buddy Rich, and you’re telling me it’s not that great of a gig?
“Well…” Saint Peter, hesitated, “God’s got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing…”
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I have an opposite side story...
I work at a church as a sound person. We rent out the space to others when we are not using it.
Bride picked out some nice music and had a friend that was going to sing.
So far, so good. The lady sang well during the rehearsal.
Then enters Grandmother. She would have nothing less than her grandson playing music for the wedding. Nice sounding lady is out of a job.
I offered our grand piano to the kid. Grandson wanted his beginner's keyboard.
I helped him set it up - he did not bring everything he needed. Not uncommon.
Wedding starts. The poor kid had only had about a few months of lessons and could play chords. Basic chords with stage fright. Grandmother was happy; everyone else including the child wasn't.
...Deb
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I "will" make certain exceptions for Simon, David, Rharv, and oh that Eddie guy... Oh so now you're telling me I'm getting the same treatment as EDDIE?!? Well NOW I'm angry  Grandmother was happy; everyone else including the child wasn't. Poor kid, hopefully the experience didn't turn them off the thought of performing in the future. On topic, I definitely prefer the honest and blunt approach, as long as some constructive feedback is offered. People (including me) will learn more if they're told something they need to improve on - even if they need to improve on everything.
I work here
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eddie1261
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There was a guy here named Phil Palumbo. Great sax player, even better all around entertainer. The MOST negative thing I ever heard him tell anybody was "Just keep working at it." He passed maybe 12 years ago. Miss that dude.
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I "will" make certain exceptions for Simon, David, Rharv, and oh that Eddie guy... Oh so now you're telling me I'm getting the same treatment as EDDIE?!? Well NOW I'm angry Grandmother was happy; everyone else including the child wasn't. Poor kid, hopefully the experience didn't turn them off the thought of performing in the future. On topic, I definitely prefer the honest and blunt approach, as long as some constructive feedback is offered. People (including me) will learn more if they're told something they need to improve on - even if they need to improve on everything. Well, Simon, I prescribe two hours of thrash metal guitar playing from hell and 13 more treatments with a little Prozac. Also, a trip to my house in Florida so you can warm up and see actual sunshine. Exotic fruits and vegetables will be provided which are sure to improve your state of mind. Anger management classes will be held on Fort Lauderdale beach while being exposed to all the "string bikinis" types. Strawberry Margaritas are not optional. Sunblock will be provided in keeping with your Canadian winter skin condition. You will be escorted by very strong men to prevent you from harming yourself while observing the beach bunnies Dr. Billy
“Amazing! I’ll be working with Jaco Pastorius, Charlie Parker, Art Tatum, and Buddy Rich, and you’re telling me it’s not that great of a gig?
“Well…” Saint Peter, hesitated, “God’s got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing…”
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Hey! I was in that "I'll make certain exceptions for" list .. where's MY prescription?? /just thought of a new song title //string bikini addict ///oh crap, now that won't be part of my prescription {redacted}
I do not work here, but the benefits are still awesome
Make your sound your own!
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