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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 169
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 169 |
Hi Everyone, I wrote this song a while ago - a love song http://www.box.net/shared/zi0oep0m98The words are: Verse 1 I met you in the moonlight With the stars shining bright It's all clear now - in hindsight Our love at first sight You came to me So wild and free Cute as can be Love holds the key Dancing the night away Chorus Any time's the right time for love There's nothing love can't rise above Verse 2 We are happy together The best got better You're as beautiful as ever I think you're so clever You stay with me Always carefree Any fool can see Nothing is free Living our life away Chorus Verse 3 Its hard for you now that I am ill You make my heart stand still It's time again to take another pill I'm here by force of will I hang in here So full of cheer A growing fear The end is near I love you more than I can say Chorus Verse 4 I met you in the moonlight With the stars shining bright It's all clear now - in hindsight Our love at first sight You came to me So wild and free Cute as can be Love holds the key Dancing the night away Chorus Hope you like it and any comments much appreciated Jim
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Jim, all I can say is WOW! This is one fantastic song. I loved the lyrics and your vocal.
I’m not sure about the backing tracks thought. I though is some spots the backing track overpowered the vocal. FWIW I would have used a softer sounding backing track, maybe something like vibes and orchestral strings. Or maybe brought in the instruments one at a time – start with just the guitar then half way into the verse bring in the others. However this is just me, others may not agree.
Regardless what you do to this song, if anything, this is going straight into my keeper folder.
GREAT WORK.
OK, a random thought;
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Joined: Dec 2002
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,203 |
Hi Jim,
What a wonderful song.
I can relate to this song as anyone who is getting that little bit older and frailer (is that a word?) would be able to.
I am with Mario here - I think as a love song it may need strings to give it a boost.
Well done
Best regards
michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2026 (1237), Realband 2026 (10)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
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Joined: Dec 2007
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Hi Mario and Michee,
Thank you for your comments and pleased you liked the song. On my speakers voice comes out well in the mix. In fact I lowered the voice volume to fit better in the mix. Interesting comments though. Not sure about strings on this one.
Thanks for listening.
Jim
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Joined: Jul 2000
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Hi Jim I fully enjoyed the listen and to my really diminished hearing your voice came through just fine. Great lyrics, nice tune but I think it needs some musical intervention to be completed. I love the song - but you need some spots (choruses would be good start) to add additional instruments or vocal harmony . . . something not found in the verses - strings would be a nice touch. This will add musical interest and a change up to keep the listeners attention. The idea being to slowly build your production towards a climax (maybe last verse all musical elements are added). But this will only happen for the listener if the instrumentation is not the same from beginning to end. That's why I suggested starting to add something different to chorus, or as Mario said to maybe start the song with acoustic (maybe add a waltz fiddle RT through the intro as a lead) with the piano coming in on the first verse - just to give you an idea of what I'm trying to say. Your song's core is solid, now do what this wonderful software does so well.  Hat's off to you for a good song.  Ian
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Hi Jim,
This is a hauntingly pleasant song to listen to. I enjoyed it. Ian and Mario have some good ideas in relation to developing the arrangement and giving the song added emotional intensity. Overall, though, a big "congratulations" on this one.
All the best,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Nice song! Well done. Thanks for sharing! Listen To My MusicRead My Blog
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Hi Ian, Noel, PgFantatic,
Thank you for listening and some very useful comments. I am pleased you liked the song. Your comments much appreciated.
Ian: yes some good suggestions and I understand your points which are well made.
Thanks again
Jim
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