I'm not really hearing anything missing in the song.

When you hit the line "I’m getting gone" I figured it was the chorus, until (of course) you got to the chorus. You've got some strong writing here!

I was a bit confused at the second verse with the lyric "Well I found her down in Memphis" because I wasn't sure if it was a flashback until the end of the verse. Something like "Well I tracked her down to Memphis" would clarify it. Not that it's a real problem.

The line "Whispered ‘Babe, I want you still’" isn't quite as needy as perhaps "love" or "need".

The end of the second verse seems a bit weak, with the line "I’m thinking that I will" is one of the few lines in the song that seems chosen more for the rhyme scheme than for the impact. I leads in nicely to the next line, but... I don't have a better solution. Trying to be clever and coming up with something that rhymes with "Silent Hill" is probably not helpful. wink

I've got mixed feelings about "That demon girl rocked my world". It's got a lovely inner rhyme going, and it sets up this lyric really nicely:

"And you ain’t got the strength to stop
Her wicked world of pain"

But that "world of pain" is knowing that you're about to be abandoned for another, so I'd expect something like this:

"And find you're almost believing
The lies that she is sayin'."

Anyway, back to the first verse:

"That demon girl rocked my world
Then tore it all apart"

I'm trying to figure out some way of keeping the ideas of the first verse going without being overly redundant. Perhaps:

But I never saw it coming
When she tore that world apart

That's all I've got. I think it's a strong song. Other than suggesting some minor (and not really necessary) tweak, I've got nothing.

Unless you weren't talking about the lyrics, in which case... I've got nothing at all. laugh

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?