Back in the 80s I went to LA to show the music world how it was done. I went to an audition for a 4 piece jazz band looking for a sax player. Just some little, nothing/nobody band. I showed up 15 minutes before it started, and I was number 93! 92 other people showed up for this nothing gig. By the time I got called there were 25 more behind me.

I looked around the room and saw a familiar face. I went over and asked "Are you Lon Price?" He said yes. I said "Don't you play with Al Jarreau?" Again, yes. "So why are you HERE? This is a nothing little lounge band." His reply was a perfect "Because I pay bills and buy food just like you do. Al doesn't record and tour non-stop." I just shook my head and said "So what am I doing here?" He laughed and said "Hey. Do this for the experience. You may have something they like."

The auditions were at a movie theater. The band and their people were sitting in the 4th row with a cassette deck. I walked out and they said "On the table behind you are 5 folders. Pick one of them up, set it on the music stand, do not open it until we say so. Which folder do you have?" Whatever number it was I told them. They said "As soon as you open the folder we are going to start the tape. You will get a 4 measure count-off. Ready?" I asked them "Can I have a minute to look it over?" And I was never stopped so dead in my tracks by a single word. "Nope!"

I opened it up, the click started, and I played 4 1/2 minutes of the WORST music I have ever played. It was in Eb, 124 bpm, and at the bridge modulated to Db, then back to Eb... It was a fricking nightmare. I never knew until that day it was possible to both blush from embarrassment and be pale from having the soul sucked out of you at the same time.

But I did it!

They said "Thank you. Send the next one in please."

I jus nodded. Didn't dare even speak. Years later there was a Seinfeld episode where Elaine was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said "Thank you. We'll be in touch." Elaine said "I have NO chance, do it?" and the interviewer said "No." That is exactly how that day was.

Much like Herb's "Neil Peart" drummer with the flashy kit that couldn't play.