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An Original Song - City Girl #70066 04/17/10 06:04 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK E enjfb OP Apprentice
OP enjfb Apprentice E Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK	Hi Everyone, I wrote this song some years ago. When I used to go for lunch I always saw this girl sitting on the pavement outside the big shops. She was beautiful but so sad begging for money. I thought that under different circumstances her life could have been so different - hence song. It was semi-finalist in UK Song Competition 2008. http://www.box.net/shared/l99xavy62o City Girl Verse 1 Bm G Why do you sit so alone each day in that spot? Bm G Your blue eyes sparkle even with your sadness A Bm Are you twisted like a gordian knot A Bm Youth & sorrow - so sad F#m You could be a lady A A lady of grace F#m A royal queen A A queen of our race CHORUS E F#m City girl do you see me as I pass your spot E F#m One day we might smile and say hello E F#m But tomorrow you may be gone, unfairly so G F#m Since I suppose you've no where to go VERSE 2 Bm G You're in my head an image changing over time Bm G A collage of colours flashing in my mind A Bm You sit alone in your silk so fine A Bm Young and apart - so grand F#m You could be a lady A A lady on high F#m A royal queen A A queen of the sky CHORUS VERSE 3 Bm G Do you know that you've been seen many times before Bm G You frequent all the capitals of the world A Bm A life enclosed without a door A Bm Lost and inward - so strange F#m You could be a lady A A lady of worth F#m A royal queen A A queen of this earth CHORUS VERSE 4 Bm G Can either of us know what's real for the other one Bm G Far less predict the thoughts that will come next A Bm We live to gamble - it's no fun A Bm In this way I'm just like you F#m You could be a lady A A lady in debt F#m A royal queen A A queen of roulette CODA E F#m City girl do you see me as I pass you by E F#m To day we might smile and say goodbye E F#m And tomorrow you could be gone, another tie G F#m A new life could then just have begun Hope you enjoy it and any comments much appreciated Jim

Re: An Original Song - City Girl enjfb #70067 04/17/10 07:34 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,646 Kentucky P PgFantastic Veteran
PgFantastic Veteran P Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,646 Kentucky	Nice work! Very nice melody. Well done! Thanks for sharing! Listen To My Music Read My Blog My Tunes Psalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.

Re: An Original Song - City Girl enjfb #70068 04/18/10 03:10 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,199 Scotland George Nelson Expert
George Nelson Expert Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,199 Scotland	Hi Jim, Once again you've written a very poignant song. I like this song as it makes you think about people you would normally walk right past. I would have liked to hear a small instrumental taking place of one of the verse breaks just to give it more colour. Keep up the good work. Best regards michee Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2024 1111, Realband 2024 i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory

Re: An Original Song - City Girl George Nelson #70069 04/18/10 06:28 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Aug 2000 Posts: 14,576 Deville, La. USA Russell DeMussel Veteran
Russell DeMussel Veteran Joined: Aug 2000 Posts: 14,576 Deville, La. USA	Well done Mate. Has a well laid out arrangement. I think I would have added harmony on the chorus's. Maybe do a build up of each chorus. None on the 1st. Parts on the 2nd. Full in the rest of 'em. Good on ya Jim. I like it. Russ Anyday above ground is a good day Computer is Hp Pavillion Vision 6 Ghz quad core AMD processor 8 Gig memory 1 TB hard drive 6 GB hard drive Windows 7 Premium Loose nut behind the keyboard

Re: An Original Song - City Girl Russell DeMussel #70070 04/18/10 07:45 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 23,220 Hamlin NY MarioD Veteran
MarioD Veteran Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 23,220 Hamlin NY	Wow, great lyrics with an outstanding vocal and very good backing track. I agree with Russ that harmonies during the chorus would be a nice addition. Also I would like to hear a more intricate and/or varying leads between the chorus and the verses. That would put it over the top for me. However this is excellent as is and it’s going into my keeper folder. Whenever I get something stuck in the back of my throat, I dislodge it by drinking a beer. It's called the Heineken Maneuver. 64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware

Re: An Original Song - City Girl MarioD #70071 04/18/10 08:03 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK E enjfb OP Apprentice
OP enjfb Apprentice E Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK	Hi PgFantastic, Michee, Russ and Mario, Thank you all for your kind comments and pleased you liked the song. I think the idea of adding harmony during the chorus and also giving variation to the solos in between the verses are great suggestions. I will do this as I am sure it will improve the song. Thank you all for listening Jim

Re: An Original Song - City Girl enjfb #70072 04/18/10 08:41 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 17 London, UK frage Enthusiast
frage Enthusiast Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 17 London, UK	Hi Jim, I enjoyed listening to that! It's always interesting to me to hear other writers work and 'the story' behind the song! Can I ask, how did you create the backing track and record the vocal? Regards, Frank New to BIAB and just got hold of a 2007 Megapak... but I have been writing songs for quite awhile... most of them hits (of course..) :-)

Re: An Original Song - City Girl frage #70073 04/19/10 01:11 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK E enjfb OP Apprentice
OP enjfb Apprentice E Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK	Hi Frank, This was done on the Yamaha Claviniva CVP309 - drum backing track from BIAB and a guitar track from a style, other tracks I played in myself and recorded into Garageband. The vocal was also done on the Clavonova and recorded as a separate track into Garageband. Thanks for listening and I am pleased that you enjoyed the song. Regards Jim

Re: An Original Song - City Girl enjfb #70074 04/19/10 07:46 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 17 London, UK frage Enthusiast
frage Enthusiast Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 17 London, UK	Hi again Jim, Thanks for the detailed explanation! Fascinating for a BIAB newbie like me! I can tell your song is written from the heart, that's the best place! I shall listen again now! Frank New to BIAB and just got hold of a 2007 Megapak... but I have been writing songs for quite awhile... most of them hits (of course..) :-)

Re: An Original Song - City Girl frage #70075 04/20/10 12:54 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK E enjfb OP Apprentice
OP enjfb Apprentice E Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK	Hi Frank, Thanks again and enjoy Jim

Re: An Original Song - City Girl enjfb #70076 04/20/10 01:16 AM Off-Topic
A Anonymous Unregistered
Anonymous Unregistered A	Very nice melody.Thanks for sharing your life personal experience with us.It' s really a very interesting theme.

Re: An Original Song - City Girl #70077 04/20/10 04:37 PM Off-Topic
Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 262 TEXAS, USA P Powderman Apprentice
Powderman Apprentice P Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 262 TEXAS, USA	Very nice. Harmony might add variety - but it is a personal story - maybe just coming from you is the best way. Put the variety between the verses. Thanks for sharing The Powderman Learning something new everyday

Re: An Original Song - City Girl Powderman #70078 04/21/10 01:57 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK E enjfb OP Apprentice
OP enjfb Apprentice E Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK	Hi quran and Powderman Thanks for listening and pleased to liked the song. I agree a bit more variety between verses will add interest and i will do this. Thanks again Jim

Re: An Original Song - City Girl enjfb #70079 04/21/10 02:41 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 1 B Bill Shodes Newbie
Bill Shodes Newbie B Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 1	Nice melody,so touching... guaranteed search engine optimization - seo specialists - search engine marketing professional

Re: An Original Song - City Girl Bill Shodes #70080 04/21/10 11:28 AM Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK E enjfb OP Apprentice
OP enjfb Apprentice E Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 169 Bristol, UK	Hi Bill, Very pleased you liked it Bill and thanks for listening Jim

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