|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
Cool narrative and song..ah.
I think the voice is pretty good...ah but a tad mannered in the lounge styling tags.
You've managed well with voice and band sounding "together".
Well done.
rayc, I agree with you about the voice. I'm still pleased with it. As far as the voice and band sounding together, you know how I've struggled with that, so thanks for noting that the problem doesn't exist here. No guarantee it won't crop up again, but I hope not. Thanks for your help with it.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
some never get past their adolescent obsessions over a girl...sad but true
Firesong, I actually thought more people would look at this the way you did. My original goal was to write a song that outcreeped Radiohead's Creep. But most commenters have said the character is relatable. I wasn't expecting that. So I think I'm going to have to rewrite this, maybe. Thanks, this was helpful.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
A familiar theme but, getting close to bordering on obsession.
I think it might be nicer to end it with a more positive uplifting conclusion.
Moto, I agree, eight to ten years of an average guy hopelessly dreaming about an unobtainable goddess is certainly obsession, and probably warrants more than a session or two with a psychologist. I'm thinking of rewriting this. I'm not sure I can give it a happy ending, but I'm considering all possibilities. Thanks for your helpful comments.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2021
Posts: 1,689
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Jun 2021
Posts: 1,689 |
Enjoying this now while reading previous comments.
Please, no happy ending! If anything, I can hear this as the lament of an "incel" that ends with mass casualties. Probably farther than you'd want to go but you could hint at it...
Last edited by Mark Hayes; 02/03/22 09:49 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
Good rocker.....Well written song. I like it.
Thanks JPT, all I do is write the songs so that means a lot.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
Very cool rocker tune...excellent arrangement & production...
Thanks, BH, it was more work than it may have seemed to arrange this and get the dynamics right. I feel like it's one of the best things I've done. Reviews have been good but not the 'glowing OTT' that I thought it would get. Oh well, back to trying to write that one great, memorable tune.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
Please, no happy ending! If anything, I can hear this as the lament of an "incel" that ends with mass casualties.
Yes! This guy is an incel candidate. My original goal was to write a song that outcreeps Radiohead's Creep. From comments here, it seems apparent I need to include some lines to indicate this guy is more like an incel. TBH, I had to look up incel but that is perfect for what I'm trying to portray. Thanks, MH!
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,734
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,734 |
TM,
I interesting write. Reminds me of grunge bands of early 90s. I am not sure if cello works well with this particular tune. Maybe pizzicato, just to accent rhythm would fit better? Fun tune regardless. Good effort by your singer too. Greenday and Radiohead come to mind.Thank you for sharing.
P.s. ha ha just read your Radiohead comment above.
Misha.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
I am not sure if cello works well with this particular tune. Maybe pizzicato, just to accent rhythm would fit better?
Well, I love the cello but you and others have commented that it may not be the best fit. So you got me thinking, Misha. Maybe a synth playing the same notes? Something with a theremin-like quality? I'll try the pizzicato and see how it sounds. Open for suggestions.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,734
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,734 |
Caught this on time  TM... I am not saying cello does not work with harder tunes, maybe a different melody for it? Check first 20 seconds of this forgotten classic: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky20ckAHi_E
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2021
Posts: 1,689
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Jun 2021
Posts: 1,689 |
Yes! This guy is an incel candidate. My original goal was to write a song that outcreeps Radiohead's Creep. From comments here, it seems apparent I need to include some lines to indicate this guy is more like an incel. TBH, I had to look up incel but that is perfect for what I'm trying to portray. Thanks, MH! Well, you kind of give it away when he says it "sears sears sears" but maybe that's just me. =8^) A video could take care of any undesired ambiguity here, maybe with a quick peek into the closet with that shrine he set up all those years ago. It's still not much, just a wood box with a few old photos of the girl he never had, a candle he never allows to go out, and a fresh cut rose he replaces every morning. I guess true incels don't do shrines, they're too hostile, but maybe adoration is a phase they go through...
Last edited by Mark Hayes; 02/03/22 11:35 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
<<Well, you kind of give it away when he says it "sears sears sears" but maybe that's just me. =8^)>> I had thought so, but I think the group consensus that he is relatable is a valid one. So I am changing one word that should do the trick. "What would make a guy like me" is going to be "What would make a creep like me" <<A video could take care of any undesired ambiguity here, maybe with a quick peek into the closet with that shrine he set up all those years ago. It's still not much, just a wood box with a few old photos of the girl he never had, a candle he never allows to go out, and a fresh cut rose he replaces every morning. I guess true incels don't do shrines, they're too hostile, but maybe adoration is a phase they go through...>> Brilliant, MH, I love it!
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,584
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,584 |
Hi, Rob. Sorry if this comes off as harsh. It's well written, produced and sung, but - by design, it appears - the narrative of the story doesn't go anywhere for me. Born to be a prom queenYep, POV is not clear at all. Does anyone refer to the television as a "tube" anymore? That sounded a bit dated. The same with "sorry state", "No sirree", "muck" and "Now I was born, it seems..." Lots of incel vibes to this already. The only redeeming line is: Now I was born, it seems, to be a lonely guy
So I can't blame her existence No sirreeI have no sympathy for the narrator. He's basically repeating the same thing over, but there's no build, or reason. He's just fixated on a girl because she's pretty. Oh, I wanted that girl so bad
That for years my life's been muckDoes he mean that his life is terrible because he's in a constant state of wanting? He just stays locked in his room in emotional pain because he's not married to the prom queen? Or is he blaming the all the bad things in his life on the fact that she doesn't belong to him? Either way, creepy mission accomplished!  For me, it just doesn't make a compelling narrative. But I'm not sure of your goal with the song, so it might be right on target for what you're trying to do.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 241
Apprentice
|
|
Apprentice
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 241 |
I'm usually not too crazy about rock (just my taste) but I really enjoyed this one. Powerful guitars with the vocals spicing the whole things up! I think you did a really good job here!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,526 |
<<For me, it just doesn't make a compelling narrative. But I'm not sure of your goal with the song, so it might be right on target for what you're trying to do.>>
Hi Dave,
Yes, my goal was to write an unappealing character's story. I am tired of seeing the same old themes lyrically. I wanted to challenge myself and in turn, challenge the listener.
I will take into consideration your examples of dated terms. Some or all of them may be valid. I know I write as if I'm still living in the seventies, but I don't see why that should invalidate anything I've written, even if I'm writing it in 2022. Who is to say this story doesn't take place in the seventies or eighties?
As we all know here, you can get very worked up about nothing. So I'll take the rest of it with a grain of salt. Sorry, that's another term that's much out of fashion. I do think it's important for me to note that basically you didn't like the song. In the end, if you don't reach people, you've accomplished nothing. I still contend the lyrics are strong, but many are not going to like them. I still say it's one of the best things I've done, unpleasant as it may be.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,584
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,584 |
As we all know here, you can get very worked up about nothing. So I'll take the rest of it with a grain of salt. Hi, Dan. Sorry, I wasn't meaning any of this to be taken as an attack against you, or the song. I was explaining my emotional response to the narrative about an unpleasant character. I think that was your intent, so I'd consider it a success, no? 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,052
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,052 |
Hi Bob and Jamie, We think many of us recognise what's told in the story. We hope you got over it As for the song: Cool song and Jamie's voice is so suitable for this kind of song! The cello is doing very well here. Rob and Anne-Marie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 15,398
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 15,398 |
Easy to understand how folks can relate to that. Mercifully neither of us went down that path Your singer sits in very nicely with those session guys in your band. We felt the contrast of the cello in a real rocker was very effective. Well done! J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 23,218
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 23,218 |
I like the contrast between the cello and the guitars, great job on that. I also liked your vocal and your lyrics; I think many of us could relate to them.
Great dynamics and mix.
Two thumbs up
Whenever I get something stuck in the back of my throat, I dislodge it by drinking a beer.
It's called the Heineken Maneuver.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2020
Posts: 309
Journeyman
|
|
Journeyman
Joined: Apr 2020
Posts: 309 |
I'm not a rocker "obviously" :-) but I thought the song was very well done. I don't have enough skill to comment on what instruments fit as I'll put any instrument in a song that I think will work. Still a good song and the vocalist was fine though I would have liked to hear a "rougher" edge to his voice. I think if he had that he would have lifted the song ever higher. Just my thoughts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Video: Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®: VST3 Plugin Support
Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® now includes support for VST3 plugins, alongside VST and AU. Use them with MIDI or audio tracks for even more creative possibilities in your music production.
Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Macs®: VST3 Plugin Support
Video: Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®: Using VST3 Plugins
Join the conversation on our forum.
Band-in-a-Box 2025 for Mac Videos
With the release of Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac, we’re rolling out a collection of brand-new videos on our YouTube channel. We’ll also keep this forum post updated so you can easily find all the latest videos in one convenient spot.
From overviews of new features and walkthroughs of the 202 new RealTracks, to highlights of XPro Styles PAK 8, Xtra Styles PAKs 18, the 2025 49-PAK, and in-depth tutorials — you’ll find everything you need to explore what’s new in Band-in-a-Box® 2025.
Reference this forum post for One-Stop Shopping of our Band-in-a-Box® 2025 Mac Videos — we’ll be adding more videos as they’re released!
Band-in-a-Box 2025 for Mac is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac is here, packed with major new features and an incredible collection of available new content! This includes 202 RealTracks (in Sets 449-467), plus 20 bonus Unreleased RealTracks in the 2025 49-PAK. There are new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 4, two new sets of “RealDrums Stems,” XPro Styles PAK 8, Xtra Styles PAK 19, and more!
Special Offers
Upgrade to Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac with savings of up to 50% on most upgrade packages during our special—available until July 31, 2025! Visit our Band-in-a-Box® packages page for all the purchase options available.
2025 Free Bonus PAK & 49-PAK Add-ons
We've packed our Free Bonus PAK & 49-PAK with some incredible Add-ons! The Free Bonus PAK is automatically included with most Band-in-a-Box® for Mac 2025 packages, but for even more Add-ons (including 20 Unreleased RealTracks!) upgrade to the 2025 49-PAK for only $49. You can see the full lists of items in each package, and listen to demos here.
If you have any questions, feel free to connect with us directly—we’re here to help!
Band-in-a-Box 2025 Italian Version is Here!
Cari amici
È stata aggerate la versione in Italiano del programma più amato dagli appassionati di musica, il nostro Band-in-a-Box.
Questo è il link alla nuova versione 2025.
Di seguito i link per scaricare il pacchetti di lingua italiana aggiornati per Band-in-a-Box e RealBand, anche per chi avesse già comprato la nuova versione in inglese.
Band-in-a-Box 2025 - Italiano
RealBand 2025 - Italiano
Band-in-a-Box 2025 French Version is Here!
Bonjour à tous,
Band-in-a-Box® 2025 pour Windows est disponible en Français.
Le téléchargement se fait à partir du site PG Music
Pour ceux qui auraient déjà acheté la version 2025 de Band-in-a-Box (et qui donc ont une version anglaise), il est possible de "franciser" cette version avec les patchs suivants:
BIAB 2025 - francisation
RealBand 2025 - francisation
Voilà, enjoy!
Band-in-a-Box 2025 German Version is Here!
Update Your Band-in-a-Box® 2025 to Build 1128 for Windows Today!
Already using Band-in-a-Box 2025 for Windows®? Download Build 1128 now from our Support Page to enjoy the latest enhancements and improvements from our team.
Stay up to date—get the latest update now!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums58
Topics84,313
Posts777,618
Members39,617
| |
Most Online25,754
Jan 24th, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean