|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
Cool narrative and song..ah. I think the voice is pretty good...ah but a tad mannered in the lounge styling tags. You've managed well with voice and band sounding "together". Well done.
rayc, I agree with you about the voice. I'm still pleased with it. As far as the voice and band sounding together, you know how I've struggled with that, so thanks for noting that the problem doesn't exist here. No guarantee it won't crop up again, but I hope not. Thanks for your help with it.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
some never get past their adolescent obsessions over a girl...sad but true
Firesong, I actually thought more people would look at this the way you did. My original goal was to write a song that outcreeped Radiohead's Creep. But most commenters have said the character is relatable. I wasn't expecting that. So I think I'm going to have to rewrite this, maybe. Thanks, this was helpful.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
A familiar theme but, getting close to bordering on obsession. I think it might be nicer to end it with a more positive uplifting conclusion.
Moto, I agree, eight to ten years of an average guy hopelessly dreaming about an unobtainable goddess is certainly obsession, and probably warrants more than a session or two with a psychologist. I'm thinking of rewriting this. I'm not sure I can give it a happy ending, but I'm considering all possibilities. Thanks for your helpful comments.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2021
Posts: 1,689
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Jun 2021
Posts: 1,689 |
Enjoying this now while reading previous comments.
Please, no happy ending! If anything, I can hear this as the lament of an "incel" that ends with mass casualties. Probably farther than you'd want to go but you could hint at it...
Last edited by Mark Hayes; 02/03/22 08:49 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
Good rocker.....Well written song. I like it.
Thanks JPT, all I do is write the songs so that means a lot.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
Very cool rocker tune...excellent arrangement & production...
Thanks, BH, it was more work than it may have seemed to arrange this and get the dynamics right. I feel like it's one of the best things I've done. Reviews have been good but not the 'glowing OTT' that I thought it would get. Oh well, back to trying to write that one great, memorable tune.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
Please, no happy ending! If anything, I can hear this as the lament of an "incel" that ends with mass casualties.
Yes! This guy is an incel candidate. My original goal was to write a song that outcreeps Radiohead's Creep. From comments here, it seems apparent I need to include some lines to indicate this guy is more like an incel. TBH, I had to look up incel but that is perfect for what I'm trying to portray. Thanks, MH!
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,938
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,938 |
TM, I interesting write. Reminds me of grunge bands of early 90s. I am not sure if cello works well with this particular tune. Maybe pizzicato, just to accent rhythm would fit better? Fun tune regardless. Good effort by your singer too. Greenday and Radiohead come to mind.Thank you for sharing. P.s. ha ha just read your Radiohead comment above.
Misha.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
I am not sure if cello works well with this particular tune. Maybe pizzicato, just to accent rhythm would fit better?
Well, I love the cello but you and others have commented that it may not be the best fit. So you got me thinking, Misha. Maybe a synth playing the same notes? Something with a theremin-like quality? I'll try the pizzicato and see how it sounds. Open for suggestions.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,938
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,938 |
Caught this on time  TM... I am not saying cello does not work with harder tunes, maybe a different melody for it? Check first 20 seconds of this forgotten classic: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky20ckAHi_E
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2021
Posts: 1,689
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Jun 2021
Posts: 1,689 |
Yes! This guy is an incel candidate. My original goal was to write a song that outcreeps Radiohead's Creep. From comments here, it seems apparent I need to include some lines to indicate this guy is more like an incel. TBH, I had to look up incel but that is perfect for what I'm trying to portray. Thanks, MH! Well, you kind of give it away when he says it "sears sears sears" but maybe that's just me. =8^) A video could take care of any undesired ambiguity here, maybe with a quick peek into the closet with that shrine he set up all those years ago. It's still not much, just a wood box with a few old photos of the girl he never had, a candle he never allows to go out, and a fresh cut rose he replaces every morning. I guess true incels don't do shrines, they're too hostile, but maybe adoration is a phase they go through...
Last edited by Mark Hayes; 02/03/22 10:35 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
<<Well, you kind of give it away when he says it "sears sears sears" but maybe that's just me. =8^)>>
I had thought so, but I think the group consensus that he is relatable is a valid one. So I am changing one word that should do the trick. "What would make a guy like me" is going to be "What would make a creep like me"
<<A video could take care of any undesired ambiguity here, maybe with a quick peek into the closet with that shrine he set up all those years ago. It's still not much, just a wood box with a few old photos of the girl he never had, a candle he never allows to go out, and a fresh cut rose he replaces every morning. I guess true incels don't do shrines, they're too hostile, but maybe adoration is a phase they go through...>>
Brilliant, MH, I love it!
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,015
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,015 |
Hi, Rob. Sorry if this comes off as harsh. It's well written, produced and sung, but - by design, it appears - the narrative of the story doesn't go anywhere for me. Born to be a prom queenYep, POV is not clear at all. Does anyone refer to the television as a "tube" anymore? That sounded a bit dated. The same with "sorry state", "No sirree", "muck" and "Now I was born, it seems..." Lots of incel vibes to this already. The only redeeming line is: Now I was born, it seems, to be a lonely guy So I can't blame her existence No sirreeI have no sympathy for the narrator. He's basically repeating the same thing over, but there's no build, or reason. He's just fixated on a girl because she's pretty. Oh, I wanted that girl so bad That for years my life's been muckDoes he mean that his life is terrible because he's in a constant state of wanting? He just stays locked in his room in emotional pain because he's not married to the prom queen? Or is he blaming the all the bad things in his life on the fact that she doesn't belong to him? Either way, creepy mission accomplished!  For me, it just doesn't make a compelling narrative. But I'm not sure of your goal with the song, so it might be right on target for what you're trying to do.
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 241
Apprentice
|
Apprentice
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 241 |
I'm usually not too crazy about rock (just my taste) but I really enjoyed this one. Powerful guitars with the vocals spicing the whole things up! I think you did a really good job here!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,918 |
<<For me, it just doesn't make a compelling narrative. But I'm not sure of your goal with the song, so it might be right on target for what you're trying to do.>>
Hi Dave,
Yes, my goal was to write an unappealing character's story. I am tired of seeing the same old themes lyrically. I wanted to challenge myself and in turn, challenge the listener.
I will take into consideration your examples of dated terms. Some or all of them may be valid. I know I write as if I'm still living in the seventies, but I don't see why that should invalidate anything I've written, even if I'm writing it in 2022. Who is to say this story doesn't take place in the seventies or eighties?
As we all know here, you can get very worked up about nothing. So I'll take the rest of it with a grain of salt. Sorry, that's another term that's much out of fashion. I do think it's important for me to note that basically you didn't like the song. In the end, if you don't reach people, you've accomplished nothing. I still contend the lyrics are strong, but many are not going to like them. I still say it's one of the best things I've done, unpleasant as it may be.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,015
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,015 |
As we all know here, you can get very worked up about nothing. So I'll take the rest of it with a grain of salt. Hi, Dan. Sorry, I wasn't meaning any of this to be taken as an attack against you, or the song. I was explaining my emotional response to the narrative about an unpleasant character. I think that was your intent, so I'd consider it a success, no? 
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,067
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,067 |
Hi Bob and Jamie, We think many of us recognise what's told in the story. We hope you got over it  As for the song: Cool song and Jamie's voice is so suitable for this kind of song! The cello is doing very well here. Rob and Anne-Marie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 15,818
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 15,818 |
Easy to understand how folks can relate to that. Mercifully neither of us went down that path  Your singer sits in very nicely with those session guys in your band. We felt the contrast of the cello in a real rocker was very effective. Well done! J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,020
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,020 |
I like the contrast between the cello and the guitars, great job on that. I also liked your vocal and your lyrics; I think many of us could relate to them.
Great dynamics and mix.
Two thumbs up
It takes courage for a man to admit his wife was wrong.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2020
Posts: 310
Journeyman
|
Journeyman
Joined: Apr 2020
Posts: 310 |
I'm not a rocker "obviously" :-) but I thought the song was very well done. I don't have enough skill to comment on what instruments fit as I'll put any instrument in a song that I think will work. Still a good song and the vocalist was fine though I would have liked to hear a "rougher" edge to his voice. I think if he had that he would have lifted the song ever higher. Just my thoughts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: AI Stems & Notes - split polyphonic audio into instruments and transcribe
This video demonstrates how to use the new AI-Notes feature together with the AI-Stems splitter, allowing you to select an audio file and have it separated into individual stems while transcribing each one to its own MIDI track. AI-Notes converts polyphonic audio—either full mixes or individual instruments—into MIDI that you can view in notation or play back instantly.
Watch the video.
You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!
Bonus PAK and 49-PAK for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®
With your version 2026 for Windows Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition or PlusPAK purchase, we'll include a Bonus PAK full of great new Add-ons for FREE! Or upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for only $49 to receive even more NEW Add-ons including 20 additional RealTracks!
These PAKs are loaded with additional add-ons to supercharge your Band-in-a-Box®!
This Free Bonus PAK includes:
- The 2026 RealCombos Booster PAK:
-For Pro customers, this includes 27 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles.
-For MegaPAK customers, this includes 25 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles.
-For UltraPAK customers, this includes 12 new RealStyles.
- MIDI Styles Set 92: Look Ma! More MIDI 15: Latin Jazz
- MIDI SuperTracks Set 46: Piano & Organ
- Instrumental Studies Set 24: Groovin' Blues Soloing
- Artist Performance Set 19: Songs with Vocals 9
- Playable RealTracks Set 5
- RealDrums Stems Set 9: Cool Brushes
- SynthMaster Sounds Set 1 (with audio demos)
- Android Band-in-a-Box® App (included)
Looking for more great add-ons, then upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for just $49 and you'll get:
- 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums with 20 RealStyle.
- FLAC Files (lossless audio files) for the 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums
- MIDI Styles Set 93: Look Ma! More MIDI 16: SynthMaster
- MIDI SuperTracks Set 47: More SynthMaster
- Instrumental Studies 25 - Soul Jazz Guitar Soloing
- Artist Performance Set 20: Songs with Vocals 10
- RealDrums Stems Set 10: Groovin' Sticks
- SynthMaster Sounds & Styles Set 2 (sounds & styles with audio demos)
Learn more about the Bonus PAKs for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®!
Video: New User Interface (GUI)
Join Tobin as he takes you on a tour of the new user interface in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®! This modern GUI redesign offers a sleek new look with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, and a smoother workflow. The brand-new side toolbar puts track selection, the MultiPicker Library, and other essential tools right at your fingertips. Plus, our upgraded Multi-View lets you layer multiple windows without overlap, giving you a highly flexible workspace. Many windows—including Tracks, Piano Roll, and more—have been redesigned for improved usability and a cleaner, more intuitive interface, and more!
Watch the video.
You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!
Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!
Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!
Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums57
Topics85,294
Posts790,658
Members39,854
| |
Most Online25,754 Jan 24th, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|