Hello Blong,

A very nice song, good chorus and clever lyrics!
But I think it's good to take the advises given here about the band or guitar play.

Your song could use some more expression on the instruments, as on the vocals.
It seems you hold back too much on your singing, especially at the end.
You don't have to yell or something like that, but just a bit more power to gain that expression in the song.

Still, it is a very nice song!

Hans

Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130