john, lemme try this one without my sheet music...

seems a cantankerous canuck horn player, ex-fire fighter was in hospital (note the brit absence of the article 'the') and driving all the attractive young nurses crazy with his tactile method of communication. well, the old head nurse decided to teach the old flatulent a lesson so she entered his room and said: "john, (any resemblance to persons, past or present, is purely coincidental) i need to take your temperature rectally. now, don't remove this thermometer until i get back and she left the room and his posterior fully exposed to foot traffic in the hallway. he noticed that everyone going by would burst into uproarious laughter as they passed his room and that the old nurse was very slow to return. finally, after several hours of enduring the laughter and humiliation, the head nurse returned and presented john with the 'thermometer', a beautiful crimson rose.

Donny

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BIAB 2021 w/current updates.