Interesting and musical!

The lyric
"We satiate thirst great" seems to be needlessly hard to parse. I know you're going for a particular flavor of language, but this only serves to make the lyric harder to understand... and as a lazy listener, I hate to work.

As for the drums, adding some flams and drags might help a bit.
Have you played with the latest release of
SynthV? I haven't had a chance to try it out, but there's now support for styles ("whispered", "belt") that could help with adding some contrast.
I like your new avatar!
Thanks, David.
For the record, Ray wrote "satiate a thirst so great" and I collapsed it
a la Emily Dickinson. Point taken, though; if one didn't have the lyrics to read it would be near impossible to decode a line like this just by hearing it.
Full Discloser: I don't know what flams and drags are. I'll look it up. This is what happens when you give non-drummers drum software and they think that makes them drummers.
I have not played with any new features in Synth V, will see what I have.
PS – I cannot get the avatar function to work reliably, last night I changed it to pug but didn't see that 'til this morning. Now I tried to change it to a different pug and it's Ukraine again. I have no idea what out of the 4 possibilities I'll see when I submit this...