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Apprentice
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Hi Everyone, I wrote this song last year - "It's time now" http://www.box.net/shared/yiqo4oipdcThe words are: It's Time Now I'm feeling the groove I feel on the move Can you come with me My sweet Anne Marie It's been getting too cold here And we've outgrown our stay Am I making myself clear We need to chase our blues away I believe, believe we are free now Free to walk, walk away from here We cannot and must not stay here No no Lets get out of this place, yes get out of here Live out of a suitcase It's time now to find a new paradise yeah yeah Your hitting hard times now That promise is no secret vow It's time now to retreat Recover to avoid a defeat Too many have died there It's only getting worse There's a danger in the air It will haunt you like a curse I believe, believe we are free now Free to walk, walk away from here We cannot and must not stay here No no Lets get out of this place, yes get out of here Live out of a suitcase It's time now to find a new paradise yeah yeah We're feeling the affect Giving nature no respect It will take its revenge Let's move to a new stonehenge The ice glaciers are receding The water is rising Too much energy inbreeding No time for compromising I believe, believe we are free now Free to walk, walk away from here We cannot and must not stay here No no Lets get out of this place, yes get out of here Live out of a suitcase It's time now to find a new paradise yeah yeah Hope you like it. Comments much appreciated. Jim
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Interesting that no one has any comments. I quite like this song I wrote but I guess not many here like it.
Jim
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Jim,
Are you playing any instruments on this song?
I'm not hearing any. If so, that may be part of your problem in not getting any comments.
Bob
Last edited by bobcflatpicker; 05/03/10 03:35 PM.
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Hi Bob,
Thanks for your suggestion - but I do play piano and also some guitar played on piano CVP509 - through out the piece. I did use more real tracks than I normally use but I am surprised you did not pick up the piano part and also the guitar part played from the keyboard.
I wrote this song a while ago and was experimenting with using real tracks.
Thanks for commenting
Jim
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Jim,
I just wanted to try to give you some feedback. Since I play mostly acoustic instruments, anytime I hear anything on this forum that sounds "electronic", I automatically think of BIAB or Real Tracks.
Sorry I didn't pick your parts out of the mix. Keep submitting your songs. You'll get some feedback from others who play these types of instruments.
Bob
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Sorry I am late getting around to this one. Well for me the lyric is a bit confusing, but that may just be me. Overall I think you did a fine job with the arrangement and chord changes but man I am really lost in the lyric. Now keep in mind this is coming from a guy who has about 25 unfinished lyrics in a folder and can't seem to come up with any ideas to finish them.
Later,
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Hi Bob and Danny,
Thanks for you comments.
Bob: I composed this song on piano only - then added somme real tracks as backing - also played the solo guitar parts on my digital piano. I used to play guitar for real but now I tend to play most parts on the digital piano.
Danny: the song is about the need for change - changes of life style in several ways and for several reasons and we are free to make amends for past mistakes hinting that modern society has unwanted consequences which could lead to disasters.
Jim
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Quote:
Danny: the song is about the need for change - changes of life style in several ways and for several reasons and we are free to make amends for past mistakes hinting that modern society has unwanted consequences which could lead to disasters.
Jim
I got that part, I was just wondering where you would go next . . . i.e., "we've screwed up this place “earth?” lets pack a suitcase and find another, (another planet perhaps) and are “we” going to screw up that one also" I paraphrase of course.
Later,
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Hi Danny,
You ask an important question.
The song suggests returning to a more simple society - more localosation and less globalisation - we are free to do this even though the chance of this happening is very small just as it is unlikely that the couple in the song would pack their bags and live out of a suitcase.
In the song I suggested this solution, not because I believe it, that this matches the mood of the day with talk of energy reduction etc etc.
I believe science and technology is our only hope. For example, nuclear fusion to provide energy emulating the way the sun provides our energy. It works on very small scale - can we make it work on large scale. The conflict issue between nations is a difficult one but ....
My opinion more generally is that all civilizations will come to disaster because humans develop controlling more and more but not capable of appreciating all the consequences. This is a nonlinear problem leading in the end to a chaotic state. We are seeing this in some ways at the moment with both economic and green issues.
thanks for commenting Danny
Jim
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Thanks again, please post more of your music when you can.
Later,
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Jim, it's got a nice lilt that matches the sentiment of the lyrics, and your voice and delivery is just right for it.
I kept getting lost in the arrangement though and that took my attention from the unfolding issues being put over. The choruses ('I believe' etc) have a chord sequence too similar to the verses (identical?) so it's hard to tell which is verse and which is chorus, and that ought to be apparent on first listen. The 'gaia' kind of message in the verses should perhaps be punched up by the choruses modulating into a different chord, so there's a distinct change that would help the listener digest things so far before launching into the next verse, and ideally the choruses should start or end with the title, which is the core of the song's message: 'It's Time Now'. And I think given the length of the piece perhaps a key change on the last chorus to hold the interest. The piano's nice but the tone of the guitar on the solos is a tad 'bee in a jam jar' and I think a mellower tone would fit the song's theme better?
There's a good song lurking in there but I think it needs more chordal variety to catch the listener's interest and draw them in more.
I hope all that comes across as constructive; it's meant to be!
John
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Hi John,
Thanks for your interesting comments which are very constructive.
The chord structure of verse and chorus are similar but not identical and solo is different again but I do agree that each part does have similar chord structure. I think I agree that having a more distinct chord structure for the verse would have made it stand out more.
I like your description of the guitar in the solos as "bee in a jam jar". It is rather harsh - put it through ampliTube2 - easy to make it more mellow.
The title comes in on the second part of the chorus after the solo - I think that is okay.
Thanks for listening John and pleased you saw possibilities in the song. I will work on the chord structure and the choruses modulating into a different chord.
Jim
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Hi Jim!
I don't often comment on songs but that's because I only occasionally visit this forum. I normally check out PT and Biab forums, maybe you could mail a short message in one of these forums that you have a new composition in off-topics forum. But I would like to comment: I too, had a problem finding out what the lyrics was about, but then again english is my second language, and I have the same problem with a lot of popular songs. Anyway, I like the song and I like the Mix, and what I especially notice, is how crisp and clear the vocal stands out in the mix (I would like to learn how you do that) I like the drums also, if they are RealDrums which style did you use? One mentioned the use of similar chord progression all the way through the song, I understand this problem, one of my greatest difficulties is creating a good bridge. To sum it up, good sound, good song keep it up!
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Hi stratocaster,
Yes real drums used - NashvilleEven8... - I did a little processing of vocal track with Izotope Alloy. Alloy is very good if used very sparingly.
Thanks for listening and pleased you enjoyed the song. Your comments much appreciated.
Jim
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Expert
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Hi Jim, I haven't had a computer for some time now (old one died  ) I really think this is the best overall song that you have submitted to this forum. Vocals clear, voice shows more confidence, mix good. Well done Jim Best regards Michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2026 (1237), Realband 2026 (10)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
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Hi Michee,
Good that you now have a computer again.
I am pleased you liked the song and thanks for your very kind comments. They are much appreciated.
Best Regards
Jim
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