John,
You may not ask for my prayers, but you're sure going to get them. I can understand the fear, although not YOUR fear, that is personal, and I'll never know what it's like for you to be there.

What I believe is that God can heal you, fully, or any portion thereof, depending on what you believe for. While I don't want to turn this into a Christian belief thread, I encourage you to visualize healing, to self motivate yourself from your own internal fortitude to see yourself getting up at the end of each of these sessions and walking away that much better, with the cancer that much further gone.

'Look' inside of yourself, in your imagination, and 'see' the cancer, and 'see' it shrinking and going away after each treatment, because that is what those of us who are praying for you expect to happen.

And John, with your humor, and your sarcasm, and every other defense you've erected to keep yourself sane, a small bit of humility works well, too. Every time you get off the bed, or table, or gurney or whatever, just look upwards a bit and say 'Thank you, God, for all those people who are trying to get me better.'

Best to you, John.

Gary

I'm blessed watching God do what He does best. I've had a few rough years, and I'm still not back to where I want to be, but I'm on the way and things are looking far better now than what they were!