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#725444 07/26/22 02:44 AM
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vicarn Offline OP
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This idea has been lounging around in my head for a couple of months.
I already changed the BIAB style 4 times, lyrics a number of times and changed all the instruments a few times.
Also deleted the drums because I felt the rhythm guitar handled that ok.
One thing I'm not sure of is whether the mandolin solo is right. Maybe a moody electric guitar solo would be better.

Thank you all for your ears.
Vic

https://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold/bounce-the-ball?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Bounce the Ball © 2022 Vic Arnold
V1
Somewhere in a far off town
I saw a mountain tumble down
Dark and heavy thunder sound
Oh, how the mighty fall
Try to stop it rolling on
You will find it can't be done
But someday it'll all be gone
Down a big black hole
V2
Let your mind fly to the stars
Wave goodbye to Earth and Mars
Find out where the aliens are
Say you've come to call
Waited all my life it seems
But I've seen you in my dreams
I'm the King and you're the Queen
In our hallowed hall
Ch.
Bounce the ball and follow through
Do the things you want to do
Do for those that do for you
To yourself be true
Inst.
V3
There are things I've never seen
and places that I've never been.
Sometimes I feel I'm in between
a long climb and a fall
Up and down's the way life goes
Up the fast lane, down the slow
Where it ends nobody knows
Like a bouncing ball
Ch.
Bounce the ball and follow through
Do the things you want to do
Do for those that do for you
To yourself be true
Ch.2
Bounce the ball into the air
Try to catch it if you dare
Jump out of that easy chair
Into the big wide blue

Bass 2474, Mandolin 2033
Guitars 2547,2534,3113,2666

vicarn #725518 07/26/22 04:07 PM
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The change at 1.57 is a bit abrupt.
It may be that the two new instruments enter on the same side and the same beat.
I'd be inclined to lead in with the steel (?) just a beat or two earlier to introduce the dynamic change.

The mandolin does a fine job...I would've expected the steel to take that role...but busting expectations is a good thing.

Good song. A calm observation of existential dread.
Terrific package.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
vicarn #725528 07/26/22 04:54 PM
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Vic,

Love the feel of this one. And a great write with some memorable lines . . . particularly for me those last lines of the second verse. From a production standpoint, that single strum guitar panned right was at first a bit jarring, less so once I got used to it, but perhaps dial it down a db or two? For me, the mandolin works just fine (just a bit buried by that single strum guitar). I get your decision on deleting the drums and generally agree with it. Did you try having them kick in just on the last verse and/or last chorus? Not sure it would work, but might give some added depth to the close. All in all, a terrific tune.

My very best to you, as always—

Deej

rayc #725554 07/27/22 12:16 AM
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vicarn Offline OP
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Thanks Ray.
I missed that and hope I have now smoothed it out.
This is why we post our efforts and it helps a lot.

Vic

vicarn #725555 07/27/22 02:12 AM
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Hi Vic, Sometimes less is more, i personally try to spend time listening to song styles and realize for me if a guitar and vocal is more powerful i need to stay out of the way of it. nice job

vicarn #725580 07/27/22 05:03 AM
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Vic,

It's a lovely sounding folk song! That sparse arrangement sounds great, and I agree that the drums are not needed! They would detract not enhance. I think the mandolin was an excellent choice for the solo! Great lyrics!

Thanks, Torrey

Deej56 #725595 07/27/22 05:58 AM
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Thank you for the call on guitar strum, Deej.
I toned down the strum a bit now.
I had previously had the drums kick in before the chorus but it was too intrusive.
I didn't want choruses crashing in like a rock or pop tune so I left it out completely.

Vic

vicarn #725599 07/27/22 06:13 AM
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I appreciate your explanation, Vic, and I can definitely empathize with it. It's cool how we have the ability to try our creations in so many different ways. I really like what you decided on here for this song. It probably wouldn't be as intimate with any kind of drum. I also hear what Ray mentioned about the held guitar and pedal coming in on the right. Is what I just heard the "changed-thanks-to-Ray" version? The mando works well in the solo. Did it require multiple takes to stitch together? I probably would've lowered the held guitar, especially through the solo, but that's an opinion. Ain't no opinion gonna change how well this song is written.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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vicarn #725630 07/27/22 08:55 AM
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Vic...this is a terrific tune...great write...I love the less is more approach...the single strum is great but as I listen it seemed too loud and became distracting especially panned too far IMO...I would pan it to the middle so it comes from behind the vocal and mandolin...I really like the steel guitar but I think ghosting it a bit with some reverb would give it a more haunting sound....the mandolin solo is right on in my book...well that's my $.o2 worth...really like the song and your vocal is very cool!


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vicarn #725637 07/27/22 09:47 AM
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I really like this one Vic. Great composition and very expressive vocal!

Your voice and singing style fondly remind me of Johnny Cash.

The pedal steel on the chorus is very effective.

The mandolin soloist works very well. I know that sometimes it can be somewhat of a journey to find a soloist that genuinely fits the song's emotion. Anyway, I think this was a good choice.

Rob


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Thanks Billy.
You're right there.

Vic

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Cheers Torrey.
I have come to believe over the last few years that less is usually more in most BIAB songs.

Vic

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Thanks Marty.
I put into place some of your suggs.

Vic

vicarn #725745 07/28/22 04:08 AM
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Vic,

This is an absolutely great song. Your performance is great as well. Very John Stewart-like.

My favorite of yours to date...

Bob

vicarn #725749 07/28/22 04:59 AM
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Haunting song. Although the story has some optimistic lines, the overall mood is quite sad and grinding. I like that and how your low and emotional vocal delivery supports it. The simple backing band works very well and nothing wrong with the mandolin solo, although it feels bit busy, but that is a problem with many BIAB soloists.

Janne


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vicarn #725750 07/28/22 05:07 AM
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Hi Vic
Beautiful song with a great melody
Sung with a lot of feeling
Good job Vic
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

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Fair comment re panning, firesong. I overpanned because it was a stereo track but I’ll have another look at it.
Thank you for the Suggs.
Vic

RnAM #725827 07/28/22 01:24 PM
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Rob.
I saw Johnny Cash on tv back in 1959 singing “Cry cry cry” and “I got stripes”. I was hooked on it’s simplicity.
Simple is always best imho.
Over the years my voice has cracked up to the way Johnny’s did at the end so I have to make the best of it as he did but I don’t try to emulate that.
It’s just the way it comes out.
Thank you for your appreciation.

Vic

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Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for not pitch correcting your vocals! They sound honest and real and perfectly complement the morose existential feeling of the song. Pitch correction would have ruined them.The arrangement is perfect as is the mandolin.

Funny thing you would mention Johnny Cash because one of the first things I thought of when I heard you sing was the way that Johnny Cash sang Hurt.

Last edited by Byron Dickens; 07/28/22 01:58 PM.

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vicarn #725834 07/28/22 02:07 PM
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Vic, this is absolutely an outstanding song.

Loved your vocal and your lyrics.

The band was spot on, less is more and I think you should do more like this!

Great mix

Loved it.


OK, a random thought;
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?

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